3 Tips to Get Over a Bad Break-Up

Being in a relationship is a wonderful experience. Unfortunately, not all wonderful experiences are meant to last. In fact, more often than not when a relationship ends it is typically over faster for one person than the other. The worst relationship breakups occur when one person just wants out and the other person desperately wants to stay in.

No matter how hard you to fight to keep the relationship going if the other person is out they are out. There is no amount of pleading, begging, crying, chasing, bargaining or threatening that will make them come back. But, for some reason, you are not willing to let go. Have you ever thought about why you can’t let go? Why are some people unable or unwilling to accept the end of a relationship, even if it wasn’t that good for them in the first place?

Often the reason that people cling to a bad relationship or a dead romance is because they have a real internal fear that they can never achieve another interpersonal relationship connection. Sometimes this thought has evolved over time and with influence from the other person in the relationship. If this is the case the last thing you need is another relationship at this time. You are already a prime candidate for finding a partner that is at best likely to be very controlling and at worst abusive.

The best way to get over a bad breakup or a relationship that you desperately wanted to save is to get out of the dating game and focus in on yourself. To do this try at least one of the following tips to controlling your own destination and getting your life back on course.

Tip 1: Set A Personal Goal

This needs to be a non-romantic or dating goal. Pick one area of your life that you want to improve and set a “do-able” goal in that area. Maybe you want to learn how to skydive or you want to take a ballroom dancing class. Maybe you want to run a 10k or take a photography course. Whatever it is make it something you want to accomplish for yourself.

Tip 2: Determine What Makes YOU Happy

Stop and think about all the things in your world that make you happy. What do you enjoy doing, what is important in your life and what makes you smile? Then, start to think about how your want your next partner to represent those things that make you happy. Make a list of what the new partner needs to have as their personality traits and characteristics.

Tip 3: Think Positively About The Future

Stop focusing on what didn’t work and what you wished had happened; that is all in the past. Instead, focus on a positive future with the right partner that is as in love with you as you are with them. See this relationship as a truth in your world. See your future as positive, happy and, when you are ready, full of the love that you desire.

Only by making these personal changes will you be in the right emotional and spiritual space to make the most of a new relationship. You will have dealt with the past and moved into a new era of making choices based on your own positive future.

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your  free E books at  www.sherrygaba.com  Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba”on CBS Radio. Are you a Love Addict? Take Sherry’s quiz for a free eBook Filling the Empty Heart:  5 Keys to Transforming Love Addiction.

 

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About Sherry Gaba

Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and life coach who has helped hundreds of people cope with lifelong addictions, including substance abuse, shopping, gambling, food, sex and love, co-dependency, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, single parenting and divorce. Sherry appeared on Celebrity Rehab 3, 4, and 5.   She also facilitated life coaching on their subsequent spin off Sober House and Celebrity Rehab’s Sex Addiction. During filming of the series, Sherry used her trademark sensitivity and compassion to help troubled cast members as they transitioned into their new sober lives with psychotherapy and life coaching tips.  Sherry most recently appeared on CNN Headline News as a guest expert, as well as Inside Edition, where she spoke about Mackenzie Phillip’s who was on Celebrity Rehab 3.  In addition, she appeared on KTLA Channel 5 as an expert on eating disorders and Fox San Diego News, Better TV, WPIX New York, CNN Prime News, Issues with Jane Velez Mitchell on HLN, Showbiz Tonight, and E!News discussing Celebrity Rehab and Teen Mom on MTV.  Sherry’s book, “The Law of Sobriety” from HCI Publications is about recovery from addictions and alcoholism and was published in September 2010.  Sherry has also been published in Cosmopolitan Magazine, Women’s World, Los Angeles Times Blog, New York Post, The Huffington Post, Hollywood Life, Elle On-line, E! On-line, and the New York Daily News.  She has also been a guest with Martha Stewart, Jay Thomas, and Judith Regan on Sirius XM Radio.  Sherry also blogs on Beliefnet.com, Counselor Magazine, and Renew Magazine.  In addition she just joined CBS Sky Radio and hosts “A Moment of Change,” a show on self discovery and positive transformation.