4 ways to be more loving toward yourself (and others)

For some people, recognizing one’s own positive traits, talents, gifts and attributes can be almost painful. In fact, they often cannot talk about their positives in any type of a healthy discussion. They constantly put themselves down, minimize their value as a human being and fail to see their own internal or external beauty. This is certainly true of people with addictions as I have discussed in my book, “The Law of Sobriety”. Many addicts see themselves as damaged, destroyed and dehumanized and this constant negativity about their self-image is a veil over their entire outlook on life.

With nothing but negative thoughts about yourself, it is impossible to see positives. It is also impossible to appreciate positive traits and attributes in others. When addicts recognize positive traits in others, they often start reinforcing their own negative view of themselves and perceived short fallings. In other words, negative thoughts about self create more negativity and don’t provide any positive or creative energy.

There are a few steps that you can take to honestly begin to see your positive qualities and develop a more loving relationship with yourself. These aren’t easy to implement, but with diligence and the support of positie people in your life, they can and will work.

Here are four ways to be more loving toward yourself (and others):

  1. Make a list of all the things you can do from the smallest task to the big picture.
  2. Break each of these down into the individual attributes that are required.
  3. Look at yourself in the mirror and repeat each of the positive things that you can do.
  4. Acknowledge to yourself that you can make changes in your life and state your intended positive goal for yourself at the end of your list of positive attributes.

You can download a free e-book about addiction and recovery here.  

(CC) Photo Credit: Eid Mubarak

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About Sherry Gaba

Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and life coach who has helped hundreds of people cope with lifelong addictions, including substance abuse, shopping, gambling, food, sex and love, co-dependency, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, single parenting and divorce. Sherry appeared on Celebrity Rehab 3, 4, and 5.   She also facilitated life coaching on their subsequent spin off Sober House and Celebrity Rehab’s Sex Addiction. During filming of the series, Sherry used her trademark sensitivity and compassion to help troubled cast members as they transitioned into their new sober lives with psychotherapy and life coaching tips.  Sherry most recently appeared on CNN Headline News as a guest expert, as well as Inside Edition, where she spoke about Mackenzie Phillip’s who was on Celebrity Rehab 3.  In addition, she appeared on KTLA Channel 5 as an expert on eating disorders and Fox San Diego News, Better TV, WPIX New York, CNN Prime News, Issues with Jane Velez Mitchell on HLN, Showbiz Tonight, and E!News discussing Celebrity Rehab and Teen Mom on MTV.  Sherry’s book, “The Law of Sobriety” from HCI Publications is about recovery from addictions and alcoholism and was published in September 2010.  Sherry has also been published in Cosmopolitan Magazine, Women’s World, Los Angeles Times Blog, New York Post, The Huffington Post, Hollywood Life, Elle On-line, E! On-line, and the New York Daily News.  She has also been a guest with Martha Stewart, Jay Thomas, and Judith Regan on Sirius XM Radio.  Sherry also blogs on Beliefnet.com, Counselor Magazine, and Renew Magazine.  In addition she just joined CBS Sky Radio and hosts “A Moment of Change,” a show on self discovery and positive transformation.