Question:
Taking the 21-day meditation challenge inspired me to read the Bhagavad Gita and the Dhammapada. I am trying to make the teachings practical so I can apply them in my daily life. Here is an example from my wife that will illustrate the dilemma between the teachings and daily life.
My wife has shared with me her frustration with helping colleagues at work on their projects but not getting any recognition for her help in front of senior decision makers. She helps them create the program, solves problems and then they fail to acknowledge any of her support. I understand that her ego drives the need for recognition and her lack of desire to continue to help people that do not recognize her help. Her actions and their actions put her in a less favorable position to get raises, promotions, bonus, etc. that we need to support our kids and pay for college.
How do I reconcile the laws of Karma with and my desire to integrate selfless action into my daily work when dealing with people who seem to have different motivations? Do I help without regard to the implications for me even if it may be a disadvantage for me to do so?
Answer:
I don’t think your wife is seeking ego gratification, she just wants an honest reporting of her contributions. So next time she is asked by a colleague for help that requires significant work from her, she should ask them for their help at the same time. Let her explain that the senior management does not know she can write these programs and troubleshoot them. Would they (her colleagues) be willing to have her come in for a part of the project presentation and/or have her name and the work she did included in the written presentation? This way, if they are not willing to acknowledge her contributions to management, they can understand why she wouldn’t want to continue the self-sabotaging actions of hiding her good work behind others. It doesn’t show healthy self-respect. Put in this light, she will find a balanced way for her skills to be appreciated.
Love,
Deepak
it's not ego to desire to receive deserved credit for rendered service. giving love is unconditional. a collaborative effort involves an exchange in which recognition for effort is a requirement, or else there is no exchange, only exploitation.