Socializing in Los Angeles is not always the easiest thing. Very often I find myself in a room full of gorgeous models who are dressed to the nines when I have just spent twelve hours blogging and barely found time to brush my hair, throw on some mascara and get my butt out the door. I find myself getting quiet and crawling into the dark corners of my mind. The feelings that bubble up from inside aren’t from Los Angeles though, they are from me and my insecurities. Low self-esteem it can happen anywhere in the world and self-doubt can strike without notice. The best way to deal with these issues in social settings is to address them head on and proactively try to resolve them. It isn’t always easy but practice makes perfect! The more you work on being comfortable in your skin no matter what environment you’re in, the easier it becomes! Here are some tips for the next time social shyness sets in:
1. Go Prepared
Scan the latest news so you’re up to date on what’s happening in current affairs, entertainment or whatever you’re interested in. Having topics of conversation you know you can go to that others will probably be familiar with is always a good go-to when you’re feeling out of place.
2. Don’t Think About What You Aren’t, Focus On What You Are
It’s easy to focus on all the things you aren’t and compare yourself to others when you are feeling insecure. As soon as you notice yourself drifting into this thought pattern, stop yourself and think about all the things you are. Take stock in the qualities you pride yourself in and remember those are the things that make you who you are, an individual! Center your thinking on what you feel most confident about and concentrate on exuding that, not your anxiety.
3. Remember, You Are Only The Center Of Your Own Universe
It may feel like people are judging you but the truth of the matter is everyone is far more concerned with themselves than they are with you. For every little detail you’re worrying about someone noticing about you, they have their own details they are worrying about. Take a step back, a big breath and remember everyone is their own sun, with their own solar systems and whirlwinds they’re dealing with.
4. Smile
If you want to be more comfortable in a social setting, start by being approachable. No one wants to come up and be friendly to someone scowling in the corner. Walk around, smile and even if you’re just pretending to have a good time, it will make you more accessible to interact with.
5. Ask Questions
If having the focus on you makes you nervous, ask questions while chatting. Find things in your partner in conversation that interests you and genuinely inquire about it. For example, if they mention something intriguing about their job, ask them what they do or the details of what their business does.
6. Use Body Language
A key to being confident is how you uphold yourself. Practice looking in the eyes of people you’re speaking with, not fidgeting and standing up straight. Watch yourself for going into nervous habits such as cracking your knuckles and twirling your hair. If you know you have a nervous habit, find something to replace it with. For example, if you’re a nail biter, when you have the urge to bite your nails, clench your hands into a fist.
The more you practice these things in social situations, the easier they become and the more confident you feel in any situation!
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