Here are 8 signs that you’re in reaction…you’re moving away from a feeling or experience rather than moving toward wholeness in that moment:
1. You’re suffering. Your motivation is to get away from the pain or discomfort – whether it is physical or emotional – not because you’ve transformed and you’ve raised your standard but because you’re in reaction and you want to escape!
2. You want the symptom gone without you having to change anything about YOU.
3. You want someone to do it for you, or some magic solution to take you out of your experience.
4. You use words like “Always” and “Never” to keep yourself locked up. Now things are permanent. Always and never are a recipe for suffering: “This always happens to me. I never get what I want. It never works out for me. I’m always left behind. I’ll never have enough money. I’ll never have the relationship I want. I’m always screwing up.”
5. You find that you keep having “Problems”! When you are transforming there are challenges and opportunities, when you are awakening there are lessons and gifts…but problems are the experience that something is stopping you while you’re running away.
6. You take things very personally. Somebody makes a little comment and suddenly it becomes all pervasive…so much bigger than it really is, and you feel victimized.
7. You feel like you have to let go of something. There’s nothing to let go of when you’re transforming! You’re focused on grabbing the next trapeze bar, not letting go of the one you’re holding. If you feel you need to let go of something, you’re never going to get rid of it. The way "out" is through Awareness, Acknowledgement and Acceptance of where you’re at (Dr. Donny Epstein’s Formula for Somatic Awareness).
8. You desire (whether consciously or subconsciously) constancy over growth and change. Your choices are out of safety and constancy – survival – the lowest level of human development.
The more congruent we become with who we really are and why we’re really here, the more we transform the culture! When you find yourself running, stop and connect to YOU.
John
The most common sentence I hear is: "I want to get rid of this". This is resistance in action and gives energy to whatever we don't want. There's always a gift and message 'in there' for us, we just have to listen.
Thanks for posting John.
Hi John,
This is one of the best self-help "lists" I've seen. Thank you so much for sharing such valuable information.
Thank you. I was telling myself on my way to my computer that I was trying to run away from this moment. I logged on this site and here is your post.
I received my answer.
wow. yeah. wow. ok this is.. wow. talk about reading peoples mail.. ok i am projecting so as long as you know who i really meant when i said "people". thank you.
Excellent post. Good advice.
this is so good to read but somehow i am doing exactly this i.e. running away from self and not trying to take action for my highest growth. I am trying to let go and in the process keep getting more entangled in the whole web whereas i feel all i need to do is to sit back and watch i.e. what you wrote "awareness"
beautiful!
9. you're acting instead of being.