The other day, my friend Carole, a 25-year Zen student, told me that the way to test a spiritual teacher is to ask if he or she is enlightened. Carole said the best response she ever heard to this question came from Reb Anderson Roshi. He said that the better question was to ask, ‘Are you living an enlightened life?’
Since our conversation, I have been thinking about just what an enlightened life might look and feel like. When I was younger, I thought enlightenment was a state of consciousness I arrived at and lived in 24/7. Cheered on by others in the spiritual community, I aspired to such ideals as unconditional love and had a few disastrous love affairs in my attempt to attain it. Given that the men I was with were not bad people, I became hooked into believing that if I were just more loving, they would become more emotionally available and committed. Wrong! When I took this thinking to its extreme, things changed. I imagined that the one I loved beat me up. I imagine that he stole my money and molested my child. That ended my belief in unconditional love- at least from boyfriends.
Genpo Roshi says that enlightenment can be defined as an awakening of the mind to greater compassion, awareness and truth. In the thirty-five years I’ve been on a spiritual path, I have become more compassion, aware and truthful. Similarly, in the thirty-five years I’ve been coaching and counseling people, I have seen that they also have changed in this way. Does that mean we are all living an enlightened life?
A friend, who channels an entity with a great sense of humor, told me recently that I have ‘adjustable rates.’ Seems true enough. Some moments I vibrate quit high, at other moments I don’t. If we are living our lives well, as we mature, we extend the time we spend in higher states of consciousness. Yet, it is our human nature to fall out of alignment with All That Is. I have also learned that awareness alone of these places can sound a lot like platitudes or pretensions when we express them. Knowing about something- compassion, unconditional love, freedom- is not the same as embodying it.
So these days, I pray to intimately know the nameless God a little bit more each day. And every day I become a bit more aware of my mis-understandings, a little more kind, a little more truthful and a little more liberated from the voices within. Does that mean I am living an enlightened life? Maybe. Or maybe there’s a better question. What do you think?
Aimee,
I think this is a wonderful post—I believe we do wax and wane even as the intent remains strong. As they say the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. *grin*
Humans are able to do as they choose, but they can’t will what they desire therefore we are limited, but those limitations is what makes this journey interesting. As for living an enlightened life, I believe this is decided from the get go, and science is validating this belief some are born more concerned with spiritual matters such as you and I and probably most everyone that frequents Intent.com] an innate wisdom that feeds the curiosity and our need to know as well as being enlightened.
Think about it, not everyone is concerned—-and regardless of how we may preach or spread the word, if one isn’t ready or willing they won’t be. Yet as you also mentioned there seems to be more people wanting to know, that tells me something good is taking place, perhaps a shift in the Universe stimulating the process. Who knows, however, it feels exciting.
We’ve learned so much and we’ve got so much to learn, yet none of this can be forced as everything unfolds in a timely manner.
You are definitely living an enlightened life— [n my opinion by the way you write] even as you may wax & wane or stumble—–simply because you seek to know & you do the very best you are able in this flesh & bones vessel. Me too…..*grin*
I enjoyed your words, they made me think…..thank you!
Thanks Sherri. I resonate with everything you said. It's such a blessing to have friends on the path with me.
Hi,
I am at a point in my spiritual path where I am very confused and feeling a lot of pain. I think I may be trying too hard and putting my emotional well being in turmoil on a regular basis.
I definitely have increasingly good moments when I feel I am making real progress, but I always seem to crash into suffering afterwards and have to pick myself up from the ground. I don
Dear Aimee,
Deepak wrote a little piece on enlghtenment that is relatively recent here on intent and I am sure you would be helped by reading that post.
In my experience it is not just understanding but also feelings that matter. It took a great deal of work for me to learn how to have feelings again. The greatest trick is to revel and enjoy feelings even when they are negative feelings. Yes I am afraid, I am a real person, isn’t that wonderful. Yes I am angry, Yes I am worried, yes I care about myself and my needs, isn’t that wonderful I am real.
These feelings pass through you when you don’t hold them. Watch yourself feel and watch the feelings go past.
Soon you find that the bad feelings go away and all that is left is the love that flows through you. Then when someone else is having bad feelings you can say to them, wow that is wonderful you are a real person, be happy you can feel these things, these feelings will pass through you. Be grateful for your feelings and know that love will follow.
Soon what happens to you won’t matter either, good or bad, because you have become a conduit for Her love. Focus on opening yourself to the nameless God, to the Schechinah. Then you will feel such intense love and such intense beauty that will fill your heart to overflowing and pour out of you to all around you.
Always listen to those around you and She will tell you what to say to them, to help and to care and to be kind. It is an amazing privilege to be alive, and to have feelings and to be put into a position to listen to another human being in suffering. Your presence and your listening will ease their pain and help their negative feelings to flow away.
It is the false belief that we are solitary beings alone in our loneliness that makes suffering appear to be real. Each of us is closer to one another than we are to the Schechinah. Our souls touch each other effortlessly. Once we become aware of our souls we can feel this connection and look back upon our lives with much greater understanding
It is much more of a reach to open ourselves to the Divine. When we do then Her love can flow into those around us without any work on our part. She is always reaching for us, we just have to open and then be her pathway.
love and light,
Stuart
http://stuartmarkberlin.com
Aimee writes "If we are living our lives well, as we mature, we extend the time we spend in higher states of consciousness."
Hmm.. I wonder if that is what happens or maybe it's just that as we grow older we simply shed some of the angst about doing life right. So we more easily let go of whatever normally keeps us from that higher state.
Sherri writes that "everything unfolds in a timely manner." Maybe, then, living an enlightened life means living with an authentic trust in that inevitable unfolding.
I grew up hearing my mother sing, Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. That's a clear expression of trust, but then what about creating our own reality, manifesting our dreams?
Maybe living an enlightened life is being able to live in the unstable paradox of having both trust and intention, dreams and acceptance.
Thanks for the opportunity to share these thoughts!
Diana
http://www.DianaDaffner.com
I could really relate to Charles as far as having increasingly good moments when I feel I am making real progress and then crashing afterwards and having to pick myself up from the ground.
I am also at a point in my spiritual path where I am very confused. Meditation is really helpful in restoring my emotional balance when I fall into turmoil. I've heard people say that confusion is a state of grace, and Groucho Marx said, "If you're not confused, then you're not thinking clearly!" I am going to trust that the confusion is a good thing and practice acceptance of everything being just the way it is right now. I know that "this too shall pass".
I think it's smart to ask if you are living an enlightened life rather than asking if you are enlightened. I know that I have many spiritual tools at my disposal, but I don't always use them. However, overall, I am living an enlightened life. My daily activities reflect that I am an awakened person in touch with my values and honoring who I am rather than sleepwalking my way through life and giving my power away.