Fear has prevented me from living true to myself and from taking prudent risks. But fear is a broad catchall for other negative emotions.Fear is based on future outcomes that, in most cases, do not occur. We tend to separate emotions of anger, hate, jealousy, betrayal, resentment, sadness, hurt, and discontent from fear. Yet, all are tentacles of the same root cause: fear.
This pattern has pulled me away from honest self-expression, meaningful exchanges of love and compassion while also limiting my leadership ability and catalyzing a life governed more by the incessant false ego than the universal gift of love in all its magnificent possibilities. The outcome is living well below my full capacity as a friend, partner, professional, father, husband, lover, and contributing member of my community.
I recall my shyness as a young boy, feeling insecure that I would be left behind. It was not until well into my adulthood that I understood that this fear was attached to my being given up for adoption. The fear manifested in my creating a life of falsehood.Creating a safe haven where the real Michael was hidden became a primary objective, for to open that door would show me as unlovable and someone to be cast aside.After failed marriages, less than desirable professional outcomes and lethal addiction, I realized the fallacy of my life’s journey. The change came as a result of slowly tearing away the fearful foundation upon which I had constructed my reality. Continue reading →
What do we do with it all? How do we navigate it all? An even bigger question- where do we look for wisdom when it comes to answering the big questions of life?
“Inspired by the idea that one of the greatest gifts one generation can give to another is the wisdom gained from experience, filmmaker and photographer Andrew Zuckerman traveled the globe to interview more than fifty of the world’s most prominent writers, artists, designers, actors, politicians, and religious and business leaders – all over the age of sixty-five. WISDOM captures their voices, physical presences, words and ideas, to provide a legacy for the generations that follow and a timeless portrait of the universalities that connect us all.”
If you want to know what self sabotage is, think Lindsay Lohan…John Belushi…Chris Brown. I actually would run out of space if I listed all the well-known celebrities, athletes, and entertainers who had the world by the…um…you know, and then threw it all away with what seemed to the rest of the world—reckless abandonment. So what’s up with that?
The truth is we all have what can be referred to as a subconscious success ceiling. This success ceiling tells each of us just how far we can go in the world. Sadly, this ceiling is based on your subconscious programming that may not always be top shelf.
Let say something really amazing happens, yay you! But then you find yourself getting an IRS audit. Or, you meet the perfect mate, but drive him off by inviting him to pick his favorite china patterns on date two. Ah, what about attracting a beautiful business opportunity but then blowing it by a seemingly unrelated event? Continue reading →
“What you experienced in life, those feelings of trying to please everyone and, in reality, pleasing no one and certainly not pleasing yourself, that’s something that so many of us, women in particular, experience.”
Who am I?
What do I want?
How can I serve?
Mallika shares with Joan Herrmann of Change Your Attitude, Change Your Life that while growing up, her father taught her and her brother to focus on and ask for the things that will ultimately lead to a richer life- happiness, love, connection, versus the things we usually attribute with material wealth and security. These questions have been important regardless of the stage whether that be while she was a child or first settling into a career, becoming a mom or launching a brand new business. Continue reading →
You have likely heard the old adage that holding onto anger is like holding onto hot coals with the intent of throwing them at someone else. The importance of forgiving others, while not always easy, is one we learn as a part of understanding compassion. We practice forgiveness as a component to understanding mercy, grace and kindness.
We’ve seen the effects of guilt and shame. We’ve also seen the effects of being unforgiving on a person who’s been wronged. No one wants to wake up and realize they’re the bitter, angry person who couldn’t let go and couldn’t move on from even some of the worst hurts. No one wants to know they let someone else control their decisions and freeze their lives in a terrible moment, unable to break free and move forward in freedom. But what about when we are the person at fault? What do we do when the finger of blame is point straight at ourselves? Continue reading →
Loss has also reminded me to have gratitude and be present with those we love if we have the opportunity to do so. In my 40’s, many people I love have transitioned, and I have seen family and friends lose their parents, spouses, even children, to disease or senseless tragedy. My intent to spend time with loved ones is a priority for me.Continue reading →
How many spent on “you time” or wrangling kids or making dinner?
Where did the whole day go?
Sometimes our days are a cyclone at best. If we made it out alive, it’s cause for celebration. The trouble when we stay in a perpetual survival mode. We live constantly like we’re barely squeaking by- grab the cookie from the office kitchen since there’s not a second for lunch! Send one more email from bed! “What is this lady’s name?! I know I’ve met her before!!” Continue reading →
Xan you remember the people you saw this morning on your walk from your house to your car? From your car to your office or into the grocery store? While we are aware that there are other humans crossing our paths, we don’t always notice who they are or what they’re doing.
Joyce Torrefrance, a student from the Philippines, shared this post of a child she passed on the street who appeared to be studying at a makeshift desk on the street. With further investigation, news outlets were able to identify the child as 9 year old Daniel Cabrera who studied on the street as his mom Christina Espinosa worked in a shop nearby. Since the loss of her husband 2 years ago and her home to a fire 5 years ago, Espinosa has worked hard to provide for herself and her three children. Continue reading →
Our most negative encounters can sometimes offer us great spiritual guidance. For instance, I once had a blow-out fight with a woman at a car rental counter. She felt the need to flaunt her power and go out of her way to make things difficult for me. My reac
tion was no better than her outburst. I felt the need to respond with my own power play by threatening to call her manager and make a complaint. And I did just that.
Hours after stating my claim to her corporate office and regional manager, I felt no better. I thought that complaining about how poorly I was treated would help me get over the experience. Instead, it made me feel worse. I sat with this and explored what the lesson was for me. In stillness, I heard my inner voice recite one of Yogi Bhajan’s five sutras for the Aquarian age: “Recognize the other person is you.” I was floored by my inner guide—the message was so clear and resonant.
I went on to explore what it was about this angry customer service rep that reflected me. I came to realize that her behavior was merely mirroring a disowned part of my own shadow. In silent contemplation I was able to accept that deep down there was a part of me that wanted to control the situation and the outcome. This was the same quality the customer-service representative had. Her deep-rooted need to be in control came head-to-head with my need to be in control.