Now that you know what to do, click on the steps to find out how: 1. Find out who you are. 2. Choose. 3. Be present to what you are creating. 4. Do not think. 5. Believe what you say you believe. 6. Travel far. 7. Don’t lie. 8. Bring yourself up. 9. Include [...]
Author Archive | Pausha Foley
Find Out What You Want – Step #10
”Oh you know what you want!” I thought to a friend who, not being in my head, could not hear a thing. You know exactly what you want, you are aware of it distinctly, you can hear yourself telling yourself just what is, only… Only there are other things you are telling yourself as well, like: [...]
Find Out What You Want – Step #9
”Why does God allow children to suffer and die?” read the question. To which I answered: “Because God sees death as a beautiful transition, not a horrific disaster.” And he responded: “Every torturer sees someone else’s torture and death as beautiful.” And what did I say to that? I said this: “What if death is [...]
Find Out What You Want – Step #8
See, this is my fear. The only one that is real. It is not that I will die, it is not that I might get sick, it is not pain. It is not a ruin that scares me. A bankruptcy, a homelessness. I feel no fear at the thought of losing Christopher and, if you [...]
Find Out What You Want – Step #7
“God damn me!” I thought to myself today. We had such a splendid fight today, Chris and I, and I was so right! Oh, I was so sure of it, too, sitting in my studio, mulling over what he said and what his problem was and how he screwed up and how he really needs [...]
Find Out What You Want – Step #6
Yeah, screw that! Really! I know that I should be writing an inspiring story here about how wonderful it is to change, and see, and discover … blah, blah blah! It isn’t wonderful. It sucks. It’s hard and makes you unsettled, uprooted and homesick. I am homesick, big time. Tonight. I want to go home, [...]
Find Out What You Want – Step #5
“Oh, but this doesn’t happen anymore” he said dismissively, for all the world as though he was speaking to a silly child, “yes, Zen becomes more like a psychotherapy because this is what people want. No one can get enlightened anymore.” “No one can get enlightened anymore,” said a man who practiced Zen for decades. Who [...]
Find Out What You Want – Step #4
“But how do you know that what you want is what you want? How do you know it is right? That it is what you want really?” he asked. “Stop thinking about it,” I said, “stop your thoughts from making noise and you will hear yourself clearly.” It is a body thing, a feeling, a sudden [...]
Find Out What You Want – Step #3
What a remarkably appropriate stick this is, how well fitted for today. How interesting that I pulled it out of my bunch now, of all times. Now that I sit in a hotel room in Poland, in Katowice, in the city I grew up in. The city I escaped from. The city that still haunts [...]
Find Out What You Want – Step #2
I have written about this before, many times in fact, but still the story comes back and demands to be told. It is a good story. It happened when I sat in a club, a rock club to be precise, all by myself at a table, with a beer for company. I waited for friends [...]
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