All posts by Sherry Gaba

About Sherry Gaba

Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and life coach who has helped hundreds of people cope with lifelong addictions, including substance abuse, shopping, gambling, food, sex and love, co-dependency, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, single parenting and divorce. Sherry appeared on Celebrity Rehab 3, 4, and 5.   She also facilitated life coaching on their subsequent spin off Sober House and Celebrity Rehab’s Sex Addiction. During filming of the series, Sherry used her trademark sensitivity and compassion to help troubled cast members as they transitioned into their new sober lives with psychotherapy and life coaching tips.  Sherry most recently appeared on CNN Headline News as a guest expert, as well as Inside Edition, where she spoke about Mackenzie Phillip’s who was on Celebrity Rehab 3.  In addition, she appeared on KTLA Channel 5 as an expert on eating disorders and Fox San Diego News, Better TV, WPIX New York, CNN Prime News, Issues with Jane Velez Mitchell on HLN, Showbiz Tonight, and E!News discussing Celebrity Rehab and Teen Mom on MTV.  Sherry’s book, “The Law of Sobriety” from HCI Publications is about recovery from addictions and alcoholism and was published in September 2010.  Sherry has also been published in Cosmopolitan Magazine, Women’s World, Los Angeles Times Blog, New York Post, The Huffington Post, Hollywood Life, Elle On-line, E! On-line, and the New York Daily News.  She has also been a guest with Martha Stewart, Jay Thomas, and Judith Regan on Sirius XM Radio.  Sherry also blogs on Beliefnet.com, Counselor Magazine, and Renew Magazine.  In addition she just joined CBS Sky Radio and hosts “A Moment of Change,” a show on self discovery and positive transformation.  

Being Intentional In Being Alone And Happy

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One of the biggest problems for many people as adults is the fear of being alone. If you do any reading on the issues with people that stay in abusive relationships, people that constantly choose the wrong partner and people that are addicted to toxic relationships the root cause is often about fear of being alone.

Comfort Levels

This is because they are not comfortable as being identified as who they really are. They only feel comfortable when they can be identified as part of a couple and see themselves as needed by the other person. For these people, call them love or relationship addicts, staying in a horrible, destructive relationship, even at the risk of persona harm or abuse, is the only way to see themselves as having meaning.

Learn To Be Comfortable With You

If you desperately need to be in a relationship and with another person, even if they don’t want to be with you, you need to become intentional in being comfortable on your own. The only way that you can break the love addiction cycle is to learn to really love yourself for who you are, not how you related to another person.

To be intentional about being alone with yourself take the following intentional steps to loving yourself.

Step 1 – make a list of the positive things about yourself. These can be things that friends or family have said to you or that you know to be true. Remember, not about how you relate to your partner, things about you.

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How to Change Your Life One Thought At A Time

185429204One of the key reasons that I wrote “The Law of Sobriety” is because too many people focus only on the medical and behavioral aspects of addiction recovery and sobriety. It is as if they believe that if you change your behavior then somehow your mind will pick up on these thoughts and change your way of thinking.

As my studies into the Law of Attraction have clearly shown me, it is actually the opposite process that works. By changing the way that you think and how you expend your mental energy into the universe you will change your way of doing things and in leading your life.

To start to make those all-important mental changes to lead a life of sobriety you can implement the following tips at any time. Remember, it is about changing the way that you view the world that allows you to take advantage of what is presented to you and the natural positive energy all around you.

 

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Is Stress Stressing You Out? 5 Tips to Help You Chill Out

sex_talkThe holiday season is typically seen as a happy time of year when stress, worries and anxiety magically give way to happiness, love and a sense of good will to all. While this is a nice thought, it is simple not a reality for most people. The holiday season is one of the most stressful over the year as people struggle to find the right gift, host the perfect party or create the best ever holiday season.

Top this off with having to interact with relatives and family that may you may not have the best relationship with and you definitely have a recipe for increasing, not decreasing, stress.

Stress can cause significant emotional as well as physiological responses. People under stress may have several of the following symptoms:

  • Difficulty sleeping, relaxing, concentrating or focusing
  • Exhaustion and fatigue
  • Increased illnesses, rapid heartbeat, digestive problems
  • Anxiety, irritability, atypical anger or irrational types of behaviors
  • Feeling overwhelmed or experiencing racing thoughts
  • Having difficulty staying positive
  • Feeling lonely, unhappy, isolated o

Coping with stress can include both mental and physical options. These can include:

  • Learning breathing techniques to allow you to take control of your physiological responses and relax. Yoga is terrific for this.
  • Increase your physical activity in a structured exercise, walking or weight training program to boost energy levels and positive brain chemicals associated with exercise.
  • Learning relation techniques such as progressive relation to enhance your ability to stay calm and to get to sleep.
  • Make time every day to do something you enjoy. Make this a priority not sometime you do if you have time.
  • Find someone to talk to that will help you manage your stress.

It is important to identify what is causing you to experience stress and then plan a way to minimize or eliminate that source of stress. To get started stop and reflect on what is happening that is causing you stress. Once you have identified the source you can then start to develop a plan to enhance your ability to cope, manage and thrive even in times of stress.

What causes you stress and what are the strategies or techniques that you use to cope and manage?

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life, Love & Recovery Coach is featured   Celebrity    Rehab   on  VH1. Sherry is the  author  of “The Law of Sobriety” which  uses   the    law  of  attraction to  recover from any   addiction.    Please   download your free E book   “Filling The Empty   Heart”  and  your “Are You    a  Love Addict Quiz?” at www.sherrygaba.com Contact Sherry   for     webinars,  teleseminars,  coaching   packages and speaking   engagements.  Take  Sherry’s quiz for a free eBook   Filling  the    Empty  Heart: 5 Keys to    Transforming  Love    Addicti

Having Faith In Positive Energy

SMILE.....IT'S MONDAY.Most people can relate to having a strong desire, belief and yes, even faith, that something good was about to happen. This may have been a strong intuition that they were going to get that promotion, meet Mr. or Mrs. Right or even reconnect with someone after a misunderstanding that created a rift in the relationship. However, for whatever reason, despite the strong belief that we had it would all work out, it didn’t. The promotion went to someone else, Mr. or Mrs. Right turned out to be wrong and despite our willingness to rekindle the relationship the other person wanted to stay mad and unforgiving.

When this happens the first step is to immediately see the negative. We berate ourselves for our wishful thinking, for our mistake believes and our misplaced faith in the positive aspects of the universe. We often block ourselves from trying again and sink into a cycle of negativity, cynicism and critical outlook on the world around us.

Instead, there are some simple steps that you can take to ensure that your faith, belief and hope stays alive and you stay focused on the positives. Getting caught up in negativity will only attract more negativity, a concept that is central in my book, “The Law of Sobriety” , which is based on the universal Law of Attraction. Three techniques that really help you stay focused on the positive energy around you even if things don’t go the way you anticipated are:

  1. Don’t try to control how positives will come into your life, just look for the opportunities that the universe provides. Controlling the process will simply block possibilities.
  2. See yourself as you want to be, not how you want to get there.
  3. Have faith and believe in your vision for yourself, don’t set a timeline or a specific date that it has to be accomplished by.
Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your copy of“Manifest Holistic Health” from Sherry’s Enrich Your Life Series. Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. 
Originally posted in 2011
photo by: Neal.

Help Your Health With The Law Of Attraction

Life Entrichment 1Everyone has health goals they want to meet for a variety of personal reasons. Some people know there is a history of specific conditions in their family while others want to lose weight, lower their risk of cardiovascular conditions or simply become more fit. While there are physical regimes and practices that can assist you with your goals, you first have to be in the right mental place.

The biggest issue with getting healthy is that if you can’t change your mental picture of yourself from unhealthy, overweight or ill then you will not be able to achieve your desired health goals. It is a lot like the process I outline in my book, “The Law of Sobriety” when it comes to changing addictive behaviors. For addicts they have to see themselves as successfully sober in order to truly achieve that goal for a lifetime.

Health is absolutely no different. There is a way to prepare your mind, using the Law of Attraction, to bring in the positive energy you need to live a healthy life. This doesn’t mean you will never have illness or never have challenges, but it means that you create the mental and physical environment to lead the healthiest lifestyle possible.

To use the Law of Attraction in building a healthy, positive mental picture of your life start with the following:

1. Understand your emotional state is directly related to your physical state.

When you are mentally healthy, happy and positive you create an energy that can be used by your entire body to heal, maintain health and change your life for the better. When people are sad, depressed, anxious or negative, all emotional conditions commonly associated with poor health, the body immune system and healing abilities are greatly decreased. Changing the emotional state from negative to positive will ramp up the body’s ability to heal itself.

2. Recognize medicine can only do so much.

If you do not have the will, desire or positive belief that you will become healthy you will not become healthy. This is not an assumption; it is a well-documented fact known as the placebo effect. If you think you are going to get better you are much more likely to achieve your goals than if you think you are destined to remain ill or that you are unable to achieve health. Medicine will help, but you have to believe and see yourself as a healthy individual for the maximum power of the medical treatment to be seen.

3. See stress is generated by negative thoughts and energy.

Dismissing negative thoughts and replacing them with positive energy and thoughts eliminates stress in our lives. When we are not under stress, which all starts with those negative states, our bodies are magnificent healing systems. Eliminating negative thoughts during recovery will not only speed up the process but it will prevent stress for taking over our lives.

We can think ourselves healthy; people do it all the time. However, these people all have the gift of being able to believe, really believe, that they have the power to heal. We just need to learn how to tap into that ability through positive thoughts and energy and trust in our own ability to have health and happiness in our lives.

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Sherry Gaba LCSW, a psychotherapist and life, love and recovery coach, is featured on Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety, which uses the Law of Attraction to help people recover from addiction; she is also a contributor to Conscious Entrepreneurs, and to several e-books: Empowerment Manual: Finding Purpose with Intention, Filling the Empty Heart: 5 Keys to Transforming Love Addiction. The e-books Relapse Prevention and Eliminate Limiting Beliefs can be downloaded free of charge at www.sherrygaba.com. Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements.

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A Focus On The Positive Is Key To Success In Addiction Recovery

think positiveOne of the best experiences I had in writing my book “The Law of Sobriety” was the opportunity to think back on the clients I have worked with throughout the years. By looking at many different cases I was able to clearly see patterns emerging that signaled either success in addiction recovery or a return to the life of an addict.

The biggest issue that I noted and, in my own life have found to be true, is that the more that you focus in on what you want in a positive fashion the more likely you are to reach that goal. The clients that I worked with that used the positive influences, energy and elements in their life were the most successful in recovery and continue to be throughout their life.

Most people, when they think about their future, think about what they don’t want to happen. They don’t want to be addicted, don’t want to hurt friends and family and don’t want to experience that constant downward spiral. Focusing in on what they don’t want brings a negative energy and mindset to your recovery. In keeping with the Law of Attraction you know that the more you dwell on the negative the more this becomes a reality. On the other hand, focusing in on the positive goals and objectives you have allows you to tap into the powerful energy in the world around you.

Key ways to set positive goals for your immediate recovery and life include:

  • Take the time to really understand what you want in your life. What your friends and family want for you is important to consider, but you have to make the decision for yourself in order to be authentic and honest.
  • Think both short and long term when setting goals. Short term goals are like milestones that will help you achieve your long term goals as a sober, happy person.
  • Seek help and work with an addiction recovery therapist, coach or counselor that can assist you in taking full advantage of the power of the positive energy in your life.

Getting help in goal setting and focusing in on the positive goals in your life is a critical part of your recovery. This is a central part of charting your path forward and dealing with issues, challenges and the reality of this important lifestyle change.

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Sherry Gaba LCSW, a psychotherapist and life, love and recovery coach, is featured on Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety, which uses the Law of Attraction to help people recover from addiction; she is also a contributor to Conscious Entrepreneurs, and to several e-books: Empowerment Manual: Finding Purpose with Intention, Filling the Empty Heart: 5 Keys to Transforming Love Addiction. The e-books Relapse Prevention and Eliminate Limiting Beliefs can be downloaded free of charge at www.sherrygaba.com. Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements.

If you find this information valuable, please share this blog  with your friends.

Creating A Healthy Mindset After a Divorce

relationship difficulties

Divorce is a difficult time in anyone’s life. There is a feeling of rejection, of anger, of frustration and distrust. While these emotions are normal they also can create significant problems for us moving forward in our lives and relationships. In my book “The Law of Sobriety” I talk about how love addictions can occur when someone feels that they are empty inside and that their emotional needs are not being met. This is certainly the case when a relationship breaks down, particularly if you are not willing to let it go because of your own emotional needs.

This is often triggered in a divorce, especially if we see ourselves as defined by the marriage. It can be a major issue when the relationship is not healthy in the first place but is a result of our addiction to love, rather than a healthy love that is mutually developed. We have created a relationship in our mind that is not one of mutual respect; rather it is one of constantly giving and constantly fearing that the other person will leave. When the divorce happens our worst fears are realized and we may find that we spiral out of control, desperately struggling to cling to the relationship or immediately jumping into a new, and ultimately unhealthy, rebound relationship.

While a divorce is going to be challenging we don’t have to fall into the same trap of choosing a bad partner and simply getting into a relationship because we aren’t comfortable without someone, anyone, in our life. We can create a positive mindset around divorce using the principles of the Law of Attraction.

The following three steps can be used to help you take the time you need to be comfortable and love yourself, building your own sense of confidence and empowerment:

1. Be alone

If you have a love addiction being alone is a terrifying experience. You have to develop a comfort with yourself and see yourself as lovable, loving and perfect in your own way. Once you have the ability to be alone, you no longer jump into bad relationships out of fear of not having someone to complete your life.

2. Learn from past relationships

Thinking back on past relationships and looking for patterns in the partners we choose and the ways we approach a relationship is all part of learning. If you don’t do this introspection and reflection you are destined to keep repeating the pattern and finding yourself in unfulfilling relationships.

3. Develop the characteristics you desire in a partner

We have to first recognize and articulate what we see as positive in ourselves before we can create the thought energy to bring like people into our world. If we see ourselves as lacking, we cannot focus on what we want, only what we don’t have. This creates negative energy around these traits, exactly the opposite of what we want to accomplish.

Once we are able to get ourselves into a positive place we can then begin to look for a partner that will not be negative, neglectful, abusive or absent, and truly find the love we deserve. It all starts by learning to love ourselves and create that positive energy, through our thoughts, about what a great partner truly looks like.

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Sherry Gaba LCSW, a psychotherapist and life, love and recovery coach, is featured on Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety, which uses the Law of Attraction to help people recover from addiction; she is also a contributor to Conscious Entrepreneurs, and to several e-books: Empowerment Manual: Finding Purpose with Intention, Filling the Empty Heart: 5 Keys to Transforming Love Addiction. The e-books Relapse Prevention and Eliminate Limiting Beliefs can be downloaded free of charge at www.sherrygaba.com. Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements.

If you find this information valuable, please share this blog  with your friends.

Lamar Odom and His Reported Addiction to Cocaine

GTY_lamar_odom_serious_nt_130826_16x9_992The Kardashians aren’t strangers to headlines and media coverage. From Kim’s sex tape with Ray J to Kourtney’s son Mason not being Scott’s biological son to the media’s blatant insensitivity by continually calling Khloe the “ugly Kardashian.” The media has been as harsh to this family as they have been kind.

If we thought the headlines stating that O.J. Simpson is Khloe’s biological father was as bad as it could get, we were wrong. With an attitude of being able to roll with the punches, the latest headlines about Khloe’s husband, Lamar Odom, having a substance abuse problem is the type of attention this family does not want. Lamar was arrested for DUI and is reportedly addicted to crack cocaine.

He was arrested last week, and has a court date on September 27. He was lucky that he only spent 3 hours and 31 minutes in custody. The harshest consequence that Lamar faces is not a hefty fine or jail time, it’s the possible loss of his career and his marriage to Khloe.

Odom’s DUI came shortly after headlines surfaced stating that he had a substance abuse problem with cocaine. According to the LA Times, if Odom does sign with a team and is convicted of a DUI, he will face mandatory evaluation by the director of the NBA’s anti-drug program, according to terms of the league’s collective bargaining agreement.

Allegedly, Odom has an addiction to crack cocaine. Khloe has tried repeatedly to help get him clean and even arranged an intervention. Reports say the intervention took place last week and resulted in Odom storming out of the couple’s home. Drug addiction always ends with extreme consequences. In the case of Odom, seeking treatment would be the best thing that he could do at this time. He cannot be focused on saving his career or saving his marriage; he must be focused on learning about his addiction and embracing the tools necessary for a successful and healthy recovery.

I have worked with numerous couples and celebrities, and unfortunately they aren’t always ready to peel off their celebrity status and be humble enough to take their recovery seriously. My hope is that Lamar Odom takes these wake-up calls seriously. He still has time to recover.

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Sherry Gaba LCSW, a psychotherapist and life, love and recovery coach, is featured on Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety, which uses the Law of Attraction to help people recover from addiction; she is also a contributor to Conscious Entrepreneurs, and to several e-books: Empowerment Manual: Finding Purpose with Intention, Filling the Empty Heart: 5 Keys to Transforming Love Addiction. The e-books Relapse Prevention and Eliminate Limiting Beliefs can be downloaded free of charge at www.sherrygaba.com. Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements.

 

Photo credit: Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

3 Steps to Find Your Perfect Partner

day 55Have you ever stopped to think about how rarely we think about the traits we want in a partner in more than a passing way? Do you find that you seek a physical type and then hope that they have the character traits that you desire? Or, do you find yourself imagining that you can wish the traits into their character once you get the relationship started?

In fact there is a way to ensure that you bring just the right person into your life. Now this isn’t just magical or wishful thinking. Rather, it’s about focusing your thoughts about yourself and your ideal mate in a way that makes you open to the  person you want to meet.

There is a progression of activities to help you get to this point. It does take a bit of thinking and being honest with yourself, but it will be effective in attracting the right type of people into your life. The following tips will help you get started in organizing and focusing in on your relationship thoughts.

Step 1: What do I deserve in a partner?

This is a critical first step. If you don’t see yourself as deserving of that perfect partner, then you cannot expect him or her to walk into your life. You have to believe that you are worthy and deserving of a partner to fulfill your dreams and desires. Good self-esteem is one major factor in meeting the right person, since you have to feel good about yourself to attract someone that will feel good about you too.

Step 2: What do you really want?

Start by making a list of the traits or characteristics that you really desire. Is it a sense of humor, an intellect or a person that is understanding and empathetic? Think on these behaviors and see yourself with the person. What does the relationships look like and feel like? What are your feelings about the relationship? By imaging the relationship as it is, you will be more clear with potential partners about your vision of a relationship.

Step 3: Bring love into your life

Love is the greatest of human emotion, and it is a powerful tool for attracting the type of relationship that you are looking for. Surround yourself with people you love, including your pets, and also share your feelings of love with others. The more love you put out, the more that will be returned.

 

Originally published September 2012

Addiction, Isolation, And The Law Of Attraction

UntitledOne of the most common issues that I found when completing research for “The Law of Sobriety” is how addiction and isolation go hand in hand. For most people it is the isolation that triggers the addiction and then the addiction that drives the isolation.

Let me explain what I mean. A person, it could be a teen or an adult, feels socially isolated for some reason. Perhaps they just moved to a new city, started a new job, went to a new college or school, or perhaps they have social anxiety and have difficulty being around people. Regardless of the reason, they feel alone and apart from others. This is a very negative place to be and one that is not in keeping with the natural desire of humans to have meaningful interactions and relationships with others.

The person is aware of their isolation and feelings of loneliness so they are constantly thinking about being alone and what they are missing in their lives. The Law of Attraction comes into play because the negativity and sense of isolation is all the person thinks about. This, in turn, brings about more isolation and loneliness since your emotional state, in this case negative, attracts similar elements in the world around you.

Then, one day, that lonely, unhappy person does something that makes them feel positive, connected and a part of something. This may be gambling getting online, shopping, watching porn, having a few drinks at a bar or using a legal or illegal drug. This rush of feel good chemicals in the brain is new and exciting, so the person repeats the behavior to continue to get that sensation. The problem is, of course, that they need to keep doing more and more to try to recapture that initial sensation.

As time goes by the desire to repeat the behavior, the addiction, becomes problematic socially. What they did to feel good they now know is undesirable to others, so they become more and more isolated to hide the addiction. With less support the addiction becomes the person’s life; creating a vicious cycle.

Here are three simple steps, using the principles of the Law of Attraction, that I work with each of my clients in recovery to stop attracting negative energy and bring in the positive:

  1. Focus on one good thing a day. When you are focusing on the positive you are open to receiving positive energy and opportunities.
  2. Identify one person that you trust to connect with on a daily basis. This person needs to be a positive influence and someone that is clean, sober and supportive.
  3. Set one goal a day and get it done. This can be a small goal; but that sense of accomplishment will bring more accomplishment into your life as you become confident in your abilities and talents.

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Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life, Love & Recovery Coach is featured in Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the   law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your free E book “Filling The Empty Heart” and your “Are You a Love Addict Quiz?” at www.sherrygaba.com. Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Take  Sherry’s quiz for a free eBook Filling the Empty  Heart: 5 Keys to Transforming Love Addiction.

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