Blogging for Change
By Aimee Bernstein
“You’ve got to blog,” my friend Kim Weiss, book consultant and Director of Communication for HCI Books told me. (Google her at www.helpmewithmybook.com)
“Uhhuh” I mumbled.
“Publishers want to see that you have an internet presence. It’s an important part of having a platform so you can sell your book.”
“Uhhuh” I said again, immediately dismissing her. Didn’t she know that between running a business, caretaking my elderly Mom and writing my book, I had little time for myself, let alone a blog. Yet the thought of blogging haunted me.
Once when I wanted to interview a famed rock and roll performer for a magazine article I was writing, she insisted that I read her blog before she would talk with me. Her blog included the cute actions of her cat and a recipe she swore by for lentil soup. Certainly if I wrote a blog I would want it to be more informative. After all, those reading my blog would be busy people. I knew my blog would be about change in all its manifestations. Change in terms of one’s self- mastery and spiritual development. Change as it affected relationships and professional success. Change as it related to pressure and stress. Still I put off blogging. I wasn’t ready to change.
Then I met a Zen teacher who insisted that I let go of everything I have learned in order to move ahead in my spiritual development. The thought bothered me greatly. I felt immense loyalty to my aikido/energy awareness teacher whom I have known for thirty years. His work has led me to increased confidence, higher performance as well as an experiential understanding of the laws of the Functional Universe. I knew though that my aikido sensei would agree with the Zen teacher. One needs to jump without expectations into the unknown. If you are blessed, you have the faith that all will turn out as it should. If faith is elusive, you take a deep breath before you leap and hope that you are being guided.
A month later, I became ill with a virus that took six weeks to leave my body. I lounged around watching DVDs, reading novels and barely attended to my business. It has been years since I gave myself permission to stay under the covers. By week five, it dawned on me that I wasn’t just sick; I was in the midst of a transition. Duh.
Four months have passed now since I practiced the energy work I did for decades. The other night while meditating, I noticed how small and contracted I felt. Something in me longed to let go of my protective boundaries and to be set free. As I began to practice the energy work that I had relied on for so much of my life, I noticed that it felt different. The territory was unknown; the landmarks not clear. I think this is a good thing. It is as if I have been birthing myself and have just stepped out into the next chapter of my life. Now with new eyes I look around, knowing that I don’t know and yet delighting in wonder. My intuition tells me that something new will show itself if I just keep getting out of the way. I have learned that resistance slows the change process and that self-criticism is just a bad habit. When I stop fighting and judging myself, life moves me in directions I couldn’t predict. Often it leads me to where I was sure I wouldn’t go. So what do you know- I’m blogging!
Are you in a change process too? What are you resisting? Are you judging yourself for your lack of will power or unwillingness to go with what is? What might it be like if you used the energy of resistance for another purpose? Lemeknow whether any of this hits home by adding a comment
I say yay Aimee you go—I have had a discussion forum for years but I'm just now getting into Blogging and well it's seem to be great fun thus far.
I have a thing about the New Year—I wonder who'll come in to my life this year that will affect it positively. You're one of the newbies I'm hoping to get to know better by reading your BLOG~! *grin*
I think it's a wonderful time to be alive the Universe is pregnant with possibilities just waiting to hatch. Yes I'm in transition attempting to shed insecurities and fear as I move forward, or at least keep it to a dull roar. Haaaa~!
Yes! I am in a change process. Yes! I have been resisting, still am a little but am happy to be aware of it. And Yes! I have been judging myself for my apparent struggle to just go with what is, but not so much anymore. *sigh of relief*
I am changing from a have-to-be-happy, people-pleasing, be-liked-at-all-costs, still-single-despite-this-so-something-must-be-wrong-with-me… depressed and angry person to a hey,-I'm-cool-the-way-I-am-and-so-is-everyone-else person.
I have resisted this change because I was afraid I would face an even lonelier, more depressing existence if I stopped pleasing people and just acted from my own truth.
Not!
Okay, yes, there have been some transitional pains. People who already knew me have had to get used to the real me. I have had to deal with their frustrations and judgments. I have had to deal with my own judgments of myself, my anger at those I had been blaming for requiring me to be a certain way, a certain person, following certain rules, living according to their beliefs. I have been so lonely at times.
But it has been so worth it. I am still breaking free of old beliefs, little by little, but for me, freedom is best enjoyed in small stages. I couldn't break free all at once, because the unknown was too scary, and I was too insecure.
The beginning stages of breaking free were the hardest. But now, I realize that I am not now nor ever have been nor ever will be alone. The more I am me, the more I run into kindred spirits. And the more I am me, the more accepting I am of everyone else, and the more I can actually find a bit of a kindred spirit in even the unlikeliest of people.
Thank you for speaking to my experience, Aimee, whether you knew it or not, you have.
Feels good!
Change is everywhere, affecting more people right now than maybe ever before. Life is definitely moving many of us in ways we never would have predicted.
We are being offered an opportunity to find balance and peace in the midst of turbulence. Rather than fight any anxious thoughts that arise, as a New Year