Have you ever hid under the bed covers, not wanting your lover to see you?
Or have you cringed at the thought of seeing yourself in the bathroom mirror?
Were you competitive with your siblings or your parents about the size of your body?
Has anyone you love, has anyone close to you, been judgmental about your body?
Are you, or have you ever been, in a relationship where your lover didn’t like your body?
The fact of the matter is that our bodies and how we feel about our bodies and ourselves can dramatically impact our relationships, either for good or for bad.
Here are some of the ways that Negative Body Obsession can adversely affect your relationships.
- Your lover finds you attractive, but you can’t believe him or her. You are too concerned about how you look, and unable to enjoy the love that is being given to you. Without realizing it, you push the other person away and over time destroy the relationship.
- Your beliefs about being unattractive unconsciously lead you to pick a partner who reinforces your low self-esteem and negative self talk. You find yourself stuck in a negative relationships and are unsure of how to break free.
- You are alone and long for love, intimacy, and connection. You have been listening to the lies of Negative Body Obsession, which has kept you isolated and alone.
There are an endless number of scenarios and examples, but the simple fact is that if you are living in the trap of NBO, you are unable to connect with other people for real. The beautiful, amazing fact, however, is that true intimacy and connection are available. No matter what your size, shape, condition, or anything else, you can enjoy deep love and sharing. But this is only possible if you learn how to ignore the lies that say you and your body are not quite good enough.
If you have lived a life listening to Negative Body Obsession, you truly do not know the relating that is possible to enjoy with other people. Negative Body Obsession acts as a true barrier. Insecurity and negative self-talk truly make it impossible to enjoy the love that is available. Even if you are involved in many relationships with different people, if you are listening to your negative thoughts and beliefs, they are preventing you from truly connecting.
It is imperative that you understand the cost of entertaining your negative beliefs. The inability to truly connect with other human beings, the inability to truly relate, is a huge cost. I recall a spiritual teacher once saying that love is food for the soul. Just as our body needs fuel to survive, so our soul needs love to survive. Now, you can live off of a meager diet, lacking in vitamins and minerals, devoid of nutritional content, and you will probably survive. But will you thrive? In order to thrive, you need a diet that is nourishing and health promoting. So it is with your human relationships and interactions. Are your relationships truly nourishing you? Are they supplying you with the deep love, connection, and intimacy that feeds your soul?
If you are living with Negative Body Obsession, or negative beliefs about yourself, the answer is no. The answer has to be "no" because these negative beliefs are making you unavailable to enjoy what may be right in front of you. They are acting as a shield, blocking out the love that is possible for a human life.
If you long for love in your life, for the true enjoyment that comes from sharing yourself with other people, make a commitment to yourself to finally break free from your negative beliefs about your body and yourself. When you turn your back on Negative Body Obsession, with its never-ending lies and delusions, you open yourself up to a life that is richer than your wildest dreams.
If you are finally ready to end the negative self-talk and enjoy the relationships you long for, register for our September call on Body-image and Relationships. Join me and well-known author and relationship expert Lissa Coffey for 60 minutes dedicated to helping you transform and discover the love that is always available when you allow it.