Where do your messages of self-worth come from? Take a close look at the people you choose to keep in your inner circle; your friends, family members, co-workers and others that you spend the most time with. These are the people who are giving you feedback all of the time about your value. Their body language, tone of voice and, of course, their words send signals about what they think of you and your value to them.
Why is this important? Most of us see ourselves through the eyes of others. We tend to evaluate our worth and sense of self on how other people react around us and to us. If you think for a moment, the words you use to describe yourself have probably been spoken to you by someone else, or they are based on how someone once reacted to you. So much of our self-image and self-confidence comes from the feedback we get from those closest to us. It’s human nature to accept this feedback as truth. 
The problem comes when our mirrors are filled with their own negative self-images. Hopefully your circle is filled with people who see their own light and are looking to raise the consciousness around them. But if not, then you could go a long way to building your own self-confidence by simply changing the kinds of people who you spend time with.
While you’re evaluating your inner circle, think about the children in your life. Whether you are a parent, teacher, caregiver, doctor, or anyone who deals with children regularly, remember that they start forming their self-confidence as babies. That’s right, babies and young children are more sensitive to the tone and energy that is around them and they will begin to use those experiences as a foundation on which they determine their worth. If the adults around them are always unhappy, frustrated, sad or chaotic, it would not be uncommon for the child to grow up feeling that they are a source of discomfort to other people. They will likely continue to seek in groups throughout life where that message continues to be reinforced.
Conversely, if a child is surrounded by confident, loving and self-assured adults who are happy and positive, they are likely to grow up assuming that this is normal. They will continue to seek out that kind of person for all of their friendships and work endeavors. What message do you want to give to a child?
Make 2010 the year that you evaluate who influences your sense of self as well as who you influence. Your whole life could shift by simply changing a few relationships.
Such important lessons! Thank you!
What about if it is energy of not believing in you from adult children or spouse/special friend, because they have seen you fail in past and aren't willing or able to let you off the hook of disbelieving in your efforts?
I work very hard not to care about this, but often it is so disheartening to know that these ones I would never give up on find it easy to judge me. It is hard enough keep up belief in self, sometimes this is just too exhausting to deflect.
I know it comes from their own fears, but even so…
Jasmina,
Never stop believing in yourself! One of the hardest things we will ever do as adults is look into some of those reflections that are coming from people who are suppose to love us and not lose our truth. I don't know your children or spouse, but perhaps they are picking on qualities that they think you have but are really theirs to own. You say that you've failed, but I look at "failures" as opportunities. A mistake is something we learn and grow from. Thank goodness for mistakes or I might never grow! However, these people may have seen the "failure" as painful and in their quest to avoid pain they push their fears onto you. This is not uncommon.
For example, I once knew someone who felt her husband was lazy. She would tell him all the time in various ways how she was displeased when he didn't accomplish things. In talking with her she admitted that she was not accomplishing everything in life she had hoped to and she felt like she was running out of time. AHA! She was projecting. Unfortunately, as with your case, damage gets done when someone projects.
So, BELIEVE IN YOU!! You are the best asset you will ever have. Know your own truth about who you are in spite of what is being reflected. As you do this, you will attract other people into your life who will reflect this positive image back. And I've seen many relationships change when one party refuses to believe the image being reflected. Set a boundary first with yourself – commit to yourself that you will get to know how wonderful you are. Then, set boundaries with others. It's OK to disagree.
Know yourself, see your light and don't let anyone else define you!
Teri