Question:
I had a family member who was and is emotionally violent towards me
I find it very difficult when things get very heated to NOT be emotionally violent in return.
What is the best way to break this emotional violence cycle?
I am a parent, now. I have worked very diligently in breaking the cycle.
I have never been emotionally violent towards my child. However, I just got off the phone with a customer service representative who I was, possibly, a little emotionally violent (oops!!).
Working at being harmonious, universally.
Answer:
It sounds like you are doing fine. Stay aware of those things that trigger your old reactions, and over time the cycle will be fade away and the cycle will be broken. Having your awareness reside in your silent witness retrains your consciousness to respond to each situation freely, not based on your old conditioning. It takes time and patience, but eventually you will find yourself responding to situations that in the past would have brought out an emotionally violent response, but now no longer elicit that reaction.
Love,
Deepak
About Deepak Chopra
Time Magazine heralded Deepak Chopra as one of the 100 heroes and icons of the century, and credited him as "the poet-prophet of alternative medicine." Entertainment Weekly described Deepak Chopra as "Hollywood's man of the moment, one of publishing's best-selling and most prolific self-help authors." He is the author of more than 50 books and more than 100 audio, video and CD-Rom titles. He has been published on every continent and in dozens of languages. Fifteen of his books have landed on the New York Times Best-seller list. Toastmaster International recognized him as one of the top five outstanding speakers in the world. Through his over two decades of work since leaving his medical practice, Deepak continues to revolutionize common wisdom about the crucial connection between body, mind, spirit, and healing. His mission of "bridging the technological miracles of the west with the wisdom of the east" remains his thrust and provides the basis for his recognition as one of India's historically greatest ambassadors to the west. Chopra has been a keynote speaker at several academic institutions including Harvard Medical School, Harvard Business School, Harvard Divinity School, Kellogg School of Management, Stanford Business School and Wharton.His latest book is
"Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul."
Mmmmm, so the Key is being "AWARE"! Thank you Deepak!
Love
Rajesh
http://rajeshmsharma.blogspot.com
Hi, I just wanted to say you are absolutely right, Deepak, that the cycle fades and is broken.
I also wanted to add that you may be surprised at the love and compassion that pervades your heart, once you are no longer run by reactionary triggers. This takes patience and yes awareness, but it is so what is needed in this world, and is the most rewarding and honorable work. Peace, Jas
Hi, I have spent a few months in serious meditation on this, prompted by the desire for my own transformation. I feel my compassion is personal to your situation and I would like to humbly offer my advice.
In any destructive presence, you should offer creation. that is to say, act poetically in response. If someone is in a rage, in which they are verbally abusive, i have found it useful to present a flower. If you know the person you may know what they truly admire, and present it at a useful time. It is not to be manipulative, but to show compassion and to offer in that moment, is quite disarming. This in my opinion takes an offbalence and applys shift to focus by its antithesis. Thus in this oportunity of stillness, convey your affection of them, and the importance of better communication, as it is integral to the stability of your relationship. Be still and Calm, and always let the uncertainty of violence and hate reflect back by your resiliance in Compassion and Love.
I would very much like to hear how you feel, or how you have chosen to act in this setting. I would enjoy it as a learning contribution I equally seek.
I would also meditate. Truly there is no Guru. If someone could tell you the depths of love we would never fall. I say this not to discredit Mr. Chopra, but to stir certainty in your heart. You are unique, loved and divine.
I understand in this way.
To be a witness to our own conditioned reactions at times is a learning to modify the conditioned mindset.
Also perspectives to be taken to higher altitudes of overview, where the futility of the conditioned responses has to be realized.
Best wishes