Could there be simple answers to a very complicated question? There is one. Will people listen…that’s up to you.
Bullying…why are we so shocked that kids are doing this today, isn’t it really an emotional problem of the child being bullied? The principal of one of the schools where a young person recently committed suicide would like you to think so.
Anderson Cooper is doing special reports, Oprah spent days specifically looking into this issue, Good Morning America and many of the talk shows are drilling into the why’s and the how’s of can it be stopped.
Let’s start with the first question – why? One answer could be – remember what we’ve all been taught – that your children do what you DO, not what you tell them. They do what they See.
Turn on the news and the radio, what do you see and hear? It’s not only the cable stations, even in our hallowed halls of Congress – there is name-calling and people who don’t treat each other with respect. Daily barrages of insults have now become common fare.
This bullying is so widespread we don’t know how to take issue with it – and it’s on TV for the world… and our kids to see.
Let’s take it up a notch and turn on the television shows or listen to the radio programs where they are now ‘reporting’ every move a celebrity or a momentarily recognized individual makes – by mocking them.
Bullying has been around forever but is it growing? Are these the consequences of a behavior that is so prevalent as to be thought acceptable, being shown to us with the most disastrous results? And we wonder why it’s happening???
A young girl was brought to me a year ago whose mother was concerned with her behavior in school. Katie was very angry, and it was showing up in her grades, in her reticence to befriend others and in her sullen attitude that was affecting everything in her life. Katie had good reason to be mad, her Dad had recently died from cancer, leaving her without her best friend and she didn’t feel the world had given her a fair shake.
I taught her a method of connecting to the source of her power, where she could access better answers, Stillness. When she opened her eyes after the brief session, the first thing she said, was, “Oh… I know how I can use this.”
Katie told me that often kids laughed at things that weren’t nice, and she didn’t want to join them, but it was hard. She said that she knew now, that she could begin to breathe into the Stillness and it would help her not to join in the laughter.
I didn’t realize at the time that she was speaking about the bullying that was happening at her school. I gave her a Stillness Session™ CD so she could continue to practice reaching that core of strength and love that exists at her core and wished her well.
Six months later I got a call from her mom, there had been an incident at Katie’s school of bullying and Katie had not only befriended the student being bullied, she also stood by her side, declaring it had to stop. SEE VIDEO to hear what happened in Katie’s own words
This time, everyone listened. The boy was suspended and the school called a special meeting with all the parents to discuss this issue. Katie’s mom told me that the parents of the bully were also shocked, they were not at all aware that their son could or would perpetrate such an atrocity. There were as concerned as all the other parents.
What does this tell us; maybe it’s not the fault of the parent who isn’t raising their child with the best values… Maybe the blame lies more in a society that accepts behavior which such a pronounced lack of integrity – which is so prevalent on our television screens and airwaves.
Someone is watching those programs that defile another human beings behavior or the ratings would plummet and they would go off the air. Someone is voting for the people who mock their peers in Congress, or they wouldn’t represent your state. We need to take responsibility for what we see, and let them know it’s not OK, we don’t’ want our kids to model this kind of behavior. If we wouldn’t allow it at home, why do we support it elsewhere?
When we connect to the core essence of our true nature, we find it impossible to defame another; we discover greater compassion and a silent strength that we have to stand up for those who haven’t learned to do it for themselves.
Katie tells me that she searches out the kids who are being bullied or are quietly hiding their pain of not fitting in now, and she tries to help them discover their own strengths and value. She does the practice of Stillness, and going within, several times a week, even at school just though breathing through the tough situations until she feels reconnected to her own guidance and knowing.
Yes, it’s simple and yes it worked for one person who then made a big difference in the lives of many. Can it work for others? Why don’t we let the kids tell us, teach them this simple method, and let them teach us how truly simple it is – to value and respect each other.