Read my intent on Intent.com here!
Copyright © 2014 Yumi Sakugawa
Last week, after dropping Leela off to her first day of 4th grade at school, I came home and a wave of exhaustion, relaxation, elation and depression all hit at once. My 7th grader, Tara, started a new Middle School two weeks earlier.
Back to school bliss or back to school blues?! I couldn’t decide.
We had had an adventurous summer, with lots of friends and family visiting us. But we also truly relaxed, enjoying days with no schedules. My summer intent for my kids was to let them get bored – rather than sign up for camps, we did a few classes and they spent the days at home figuring out what to do. They read, they watched television, played video games, painted, wrote, and hung out. I let their minds wander, aimlessly, happily, with no agenda.
Yet, within hours of them back in school, I was on my calendar, scheduling after school activities, logistics of two different drop offs and pickups, work commitments. I found myself mentally scheduling time to relax with our new Fall schedule! Why does it seem inevitable that our modern life gets us busy again? I find that despite trying not to get my kids too busy, the homework/music lessons/sports/friends life balance already seems an untenable goal.
As I begin the Fall, I decided to set some Back To School intents for me and my kids.
So here goes:
My intent is to meditate regularly.
This is top priority for me. And if I can commit to it, and show my girls through my example its value, I believe they will want to do it as well. I love meditating with my girls. We sit together in our favorite spots in the living room, we cuddle a bit, talk about the day, close our eyes, meditate, and then set intents for the week or day.
My intent is to make sleep a priority in our life.
My girls are growing, and need their sleep. For the last few months, we have been able to sleep without waking up with an alarm clock. I know the health and emotional benefits of good sleep, and don’t want to compromise on this for our family. We have an early morning schedule now, so if it means compromising some activities, that’s ok. Sleep is more important.
My intent is to focus on nourishing foods.
I just completed a two week cleanse, and for the first time since I can remember am feeling good without my cookies, ice cream, brownies, and heavy carb-filled pastas, pizza’s etc.
Also, while writing my book, Living With Intent, I was more mindful of my eating habits and why I was choosing the foods I consume. I realized that I am passing on my own eating habits to my kids. Once again, if I can guide them through my own example and through the changes in our meals at home, I hope I can teach them better habits.
My intent is to be flexible.
If we need to adjust schedules, skip a dance class, drop tennis, forgo doing extra math homework, I need to let go and know that it’s ok. Together we can figure out schedules and think about “time management”, but at the end of the day our journey is about love and service. I do believe flexibility is one of the keys to finding joy, and want to embrace that idea fully this school year.
My intent is to cherish the love of learning.
My kids are learning so many incredible things in school this year. I want to celebrate the love of learning, and engage in conversations with them about new ideas and discoveries.
My intent is to express gratitude every day.
Early mornings, new schedules, lots of homework – its easy to fall into the back to school blue mode. Instead I want to focus on gratitude, and incorporate it into our daily conversation. I want us to share at least one thing daily that we are grateful for.
I’d love to hear your intents for the Fall here in the comment section.
Please do share them on www.intent.com as well, so we can keep the dialogue going!
Copyright © 2014 Yumi Sakugawa
Of my hundreds of happiness-project resolutions, and of the habits I’ve tried to form, one of my very favorites is to Read more
Reading is an essential part of my work. It forms an important part to my social life. And far more important, reading is my favorite thing to do, by a long shot. I’m not a well-rounded person.
But reading takes time, and there aren’t many days when I can read as much as I’d like. Here are some habits that I’ve adopted to help me get more good reading done.
1. Quit reading. I used to pride myself on finishing every book I started. No more. Life is short. There are too many wonderful books to read.
2. Read books you enjoy. When I’m reading a book I love—for example, I’m now reading Charles Portis’s True Grit — I’m astonished by how much time I find to read. Which is another reason to stop reading a book I don’t enjoy.
One of the biggest problems for many people as adults is the fear of being alone. If you do any reading on the issues with people that stay in abusive relationships, people that constantly choose the wrong partner and people that are addicted to toxic relationships the root cause is often about fear of being alone.
This is because they are not comfortable as being identified as who they really are. They only feel comfortable when they can be identified as part of a couple and see themselves as needed by the other person. For these people, call them love or relationship addicts, staying in a horrible, destructive relationship, even at the risk of persona harm or abuse, is the only way to see themselves as having meaning.
Learn To Be Comfortable With You
If you desperately need to be in a relationship and with another person, even if they don’t want to be with you, you need to become intentional in being comfortable on your own. The only way that you can break the love addiction cycle is to learn to really love yourself for who you are, not how you related to another person.
To be intentional about being alone with yourself take the following intentional steps to loving yourself.
Step 1 – make a list of the positive things about yourself. These can be things that friends or family have said to you or that you know to be true. Remember, not about how you relate to your partner, things about you.