With all the things we can see needing our attention, it can be easy to neglect those things that aren’t leaping out at us. What do we mean? We mean the emotions, physical signs and red flags coming up on the inside. Yesterday we began to discover the correlation between our physical health and our feelings. Today we want to honor what is going on inside by slowing down enough to listening and then giving credence to what we discover.
If you want to be happy, be.
Our intent today involves retraining our mind and refocusing our eyes.
If we want to be happy, then it is our job to look for that and find it within ourselves.
So our intent today is to do just that. We want to find happiness in the unexpected.
In the last minute coffee date with a friend.
In the surprisingly good parking spot.
In the upcoming appointment with a really great specialist.
In the unexpected 5 minutes of quiet.
Let yourself be surprised with happiness and look for it in the things you’re flying past.
Find it where you’re least expecting.
Looking for happiness too? We have 3 resources to help: Continue reading
When I first realized I was a codependent, one of the things that I began to understand was that I lived my life playing the victim. Everything was always happening TO me, people were always doing harm to me, and I was completely innocent, and the list could go on forever. I victimized myself, and I wallowed in every bad emotion I had. Doing this made me lose sight of the good things in life.
Today, I’d like everyone to grab a pen and paper so that we can make gratitude lists. This is one of the tools that helps me feel good about myself and my life, and it helped reframe the misery I was putting myself in. Continue reading
In her book Daring Greatly, Brene Brown talks about starting the day with the feeling of not being enough. You didn’t get enough sleep. There won’t be enough time to get everything done. You are already lose the battle against today. Knowing this, we want to change the pace. Our intent of the day is to start the day with confidence rather than feeling like we’re at the bottom of a mountain. And how? We have 3 resources to help! Continue reading
To keep up with the news these days is to be heartbroken. Families grieve the loss of fathers that should’ve come home that day. Politicians speak words of hate about ethnicities who live and thrive in this country and will vote in November. Women suffer assault and the perpetrators of those crimes will have their athletic accolades included in backstory of their act. It can make you wonder if anyone is fighting for peace, kindness, gentleness.
Today our intent is to be those people. You can be one of those people.
You can make your intent to be a person who furthers love and patience instead anger and hatred. You can choose to grow and change into a human who accepts and pursues good instead of a person who is self-seeking and narrow-minded.
How? There are lots of ways to dig in. Here are a few things that might help with today’s climate:
- This video from ACLU deputy legal director Jeff Robinson calling for policing reform.
In the wake of two more police shootings, we revisit this video shared after the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile. Robinson calls us to find a better way.
- This Easy Guide to Contacting Your Elected Representatives About Gun Control.
Shared originally on Huffington Post, this guide helps you identify your senators and representatives, shares form letters and has information for effectively calling and tweeting at elected officials. As easy as it easy to do, you have no reason not to take a minute to share your support or opposition when it comes to causes that matter most to you.
- These wise words from Deepak Chopra.
In choosing to be a peace-maker, it also means dealing with the resentment and anger in your heart. There is much to be upset about. There is much change that awaits us. This does not mean a root of bitterness should be fostered in the process. Choose to pursue change because you desire a better future, not because you wish to remain trapped in the past. Forgiveness does not mean you have to forget where you’ve come from. It can mean accepting the freedom to take a different path.
How are you pursuing peace?
My need for external reassurance as a woman came home to me many birthdays ago. I decided to test everyone (especially Honey) by making no reference to my personal holiday during the entire month of January. The results were devastating. Not a single soul—parent, child, sister, friend, husband (gasp)—remembered. The red-letter day came and went without a whimper. Now, before you scream “Revolution!” (which I came close to doing at the time) let me add this: Honey was under huge pressure at work, serving tirelessly at church, and acutely worried over finances. He comforted, cuddled, and counseled with tenderness. It’s just that his calendar was off.
When I realized that accusation would never produce a bottle of perfume, the truth hit me like a whiff of cheap cologne: I had been thinking for too long that it was my guy’s primary job in life to make me feel good, to heal all my wounds, to spend every possible minute with me, to be emotionally available and responsive 24/7, to always want what I want. I had set myself up for disillusionment.
Thankfully, I wised up and made a course correction that stuck. My birthday is now advertised far and wide and way in advance. I am responsible to ask for and inspire special attention on January 27. Healthy, balanced doses of giving and receiving from family, friends, God, and myself, keeps my tank full. His three little words (“I love you”) then top me off and overflow into a puddle at our feet.
And that’s the secret. Fill your own tank by taking responsibility for your own happiness.
There is a simple way to get started, or continue, in the habit of filling your own tank so that you can give from abundance while receiving with confidence. I don’t mean to make it sound easy—we are talking about the greatest challenge of a woman’s life, the seesaw between nurturing herself and nurturing others—but I know you can do it.
Here’s how: Continue reading
When you meet someone who is truly beautiful it’s not just the way they look that makes you take notice. Beautiful people glow and radiate self-confidence and inner peace that is hard not to notice. Here are ten tips to creating the most authentic and beautiful version of yourself. Continue reading
Family vacations were a high point for me growing up. It was a time to explore and learn about the world. We didn’t have a lot of money and that required a bit of creativity. I consider myself lucky that my parents took the time for breaks in their schedule to spend time with us.
A simple definition of ‘vacation’ is a time when someone is away from home, school or work, in order to relax or travel. I like to think of it as an intermission from your normal, daily life.
Many of us have a tendency to push ourselves too much and ignore the chronic stress that comes with that constant drive to achieve something. In the U.S. we tend to take “time off” for granted and treat it as a type of luxury. It’s not. We all need a break.
Expedia did a study called Vacation Deprivation and found that a vacation for most can just be “a remote office away from the office.” People are still engaging with work, taking calls, and checking email regularly (guilty!). And a lot of paid vacation goes unused for various reasons.
We’ve all had a conversation about work-life balance and its relevance. But are you actually doing something to create that needed healthy balance?
After our recent family vacation before school started, it was a great reminder that taking a break – a vacation – is healthy and a key part of stress reduction. Here are 7 reasons why it’s important to schedule vacation on a regular basis: Continue reading
“Temperament does not predestine one man to sanctity and another to reprobation. All temperaments can serve as the material for ruin or for salvation…It does not matter how poor or how difficult a temperament we may be endowed with. If we make good use of what we have, if we make it serve our good desires, we can do better than another who merely serves his temperament instead of making it serve him.”
–Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude
This passage from Merton caught my attention, because of my Four Tendencies framework for personality.
In that framework, I divide all of humanity into four types: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel. (Want to find out what you are? The Quiz is here. Almost 500,000 people have taken it.) Continue reading
If you look at history and the human tendency to travel to far-flung areas of the planet, you may begin to suspect there’s something in the human genome that causes this compulsive wandering behavior. You may become even more convinced of this genetic tendency if you have ever traveled to what you thought was a distant corner of the earth and met up with someone from your very own town or neighborhood. It appears that some humans are driven to explore and seek out new environments, a human habit which has caused some scientists to consider whether there is a “travel gene” that contributes to the behavior. Continue reading