When I first realized I was a codependent, one of the things that I began to understand was that I lived my life playing the victim. Everything was always happening TO me, people were always doing harm to me, and I was completely innocent, and the list could go on forever. I victimized myself, and I wallowed in every bad emotion I had. Doing this made me lose sight of the good things in life.
Today, I’d like everyone to grab a pen and paper so that we can make gratitude lists. This is one of the tools that helps me feel good about myself and my life, and it helped reframe the misery I was putting myself in. Continue reading
All parents are looking for the silver bullet to parenting. We know we need to give our kids continual instruction on honor, truthfulness, integrity, kindness, patience and loving the unlovable. They need to be held accountable for their actions. Learn to restrain their impulses to throw temper tantrums. Be able to resist peer pressure to experiment with sex, drugs and alcohol. But the question remains, “What can we teach our kids that will prepare them for any crisis that is sure to impact them some time in their lives?”
Because there will be days, months even when everything seems lost. When they suffer the inevitable heartbreak. When they fail to make the team. When their friends have deserted them. When they’re rejected by their favorite college. When even God seems far away. And these are just the teen years.
We all know there will often be times in adulthood when money is tight. Jobs are lost. Marriages are rocky. Health is failing. Loved ones leave us. And loneliness collapses souls. Continue reading
The most important questions we can ask ourselves are oftentimes the most difficult to answer. Where did we come from? What is our purpose? What is our destiny? I’ve come to find the answers to these questions are influenced by dominating worldviews – a set of archetypes or thought-models, which are bolstered by inheritance, general acceptance and mainstream influence.
Viable challenges to the mainstream rendition of human history have emerged with discoveries of mysterious ancient structures and complexes throughout the world, yet the biggest challenge is unnoticed because the lie, which has been proliferated for over 100 years, is part of the collective consciousness. Continue reading
When we are choosing the people in our lives, we like to pick ones that comfort us and support us in our times of need. Part of our relationships with these people means supporting them as well. Some of us don’t really know what it means to be supportive, and we do the best we can.
So, what does it mean to be supportive? What can we do to connect with our loved ones better, and help lift them up without any burden to ourselves? Luckily, the answer is quite simple.
Many of us are fixers – we like to solve other people’s problems, lend a hand, and make sure everyone else’s lives are running smoothly. As a fixer myself, I know that more than enough time is spent on these tasks. Living as an adult child of an alcoholic means that I am well versed in the art of fixing, whether it is cleaning up after someone, fixing their mistakes, or bailing them out of trouble when that might not be the best thing for them. Being a fixer is not a bad thing; many of us are caregivers by nature, and we genuinely do love to help out. Being a fixer just means we spend a little too much time focused on fixing others.
Unfortunately, the best intentions can sometimes go astray. We know that we are coming from a loving place or wanting to help and connect with the other person. Constantly telling them how to fix their problems, however, is not what someone wants out of a supportive friend, and we often get pushed away. Continue reading
Hi guys. Today I want to talk a little bit about the topic of letting go of our fears of abandonment. I think it’s a really important subject when delving into love addiction and co-dependency, and fear of abandonment is one of the main things that prevents people from getting out of unhealthy relationships.
The idea of being abandoned is scary. Nobody wants to be left alone to fend for themselves. As humans, we are social creatures, and having other people and even animals in our lives is comforting and part of being human. The issue then, is when our fear of being alone – a reasonable fear – becomes so deep that it prevents us from being independent. We can be independent people without having to give up healthy relationships. What we have to strive for there is balance. Continue reading
In the light of so many tragedies, we are continuing our difficult questions series as led by the author of Break the Norms: Questioning Everything You Think You Know About God and Truth, Life and Death, Love and Sex, Chandresh Bhardwaj.
What happens after we die?
Dust? Heaven? Hell? reincarnation? There are lot so of opinions.
What does it mean for how you live today?
Watch the video here: Continue reading
How often have you heard someone say: “Wow… that song really moves me!”… or “That piece is so stirring…!” Well, there’s a reason for that: there’s an emotional connection… a bridge… which inexorably links our physical selves in this earthly world to our souls in the spiritual world. It’s one of the very few absolutes we can count on. And unless you’re sociopathic or a psychopath.. it’s inescapable. In other words, being touched in some way by any/all music that you hear makes an impact to some extent that’s unavoidable. One’s auditory connection to the physical world instantly translates any music you hear into emotional “triggers” that migrate immediately to the cerebellum and hippocampus (part of the brain’s limbic system) regions in the central and medial temporal lobe of the brain where neurons process the synapses into sensation… what we call “emotional feelings”.
The impact of these emotional feelings varies for myriad reasons of course, a few being one’s personality, likes/dislikes, environmental situations and so on. But there is no discussion that can argue against this impact and how this transferance moves our spiritual intent to new highs… or lows depending on the music. I said spiritual intent because the reality is that your emotions drive your spirit whether you want that or not.
And you CAN function with intent both physically and emotionally… and you should. Otherwise, as you no doubt have commented to yourself at times about some people you have seen, your life becomes aimless, your actions shiftless and without direction. Seems lately like there’s so many more people like that these days, young and old: without direction, without intent. I’m certain that if used correctly, music could help them.
The fascinating study of how truly impactful and enriching music is to humanity has in recent years become an entire and separate discipline of collegiate study: music therapy. Just visit Children’s Hospital Los Angeles or any hospital with major emphasis in children’s medicine and you will see music therapy being applied just as readily as pharmacological remedies. The point here is that the biological effect AND the spiritual effect BOTH need to be applied in many cases to aid in full and comprehensive treatment if a young patient is to be returned to full health. And I mean FULL health, which includes spiritual nourishment in equal amounts as medication. Music can and does provide emotional uplifting which raises the spirit in injured or diseased patients and obviously now, it is done with the intent that the process will manifest very positive results. It’s been proven. It works. Continue reading
Spirituality in Stilettos celebrates the beauty, strength and style of a women’s spiritual bliss grounded in the 21st century with an irresistible twist!
Spirituality is truly a big word for spirit … the truth and joy of who we are and Stilettos remind us that we live in the 21st century with all of its mixed messages and noise. Most of us yearn for clarity, balance and connection but we don’t have a year to eat in Italy, pray in India and fall in love in Bali to find ourselves. We need to keep our feet on the ground, but allow our spirits to soar. You have both, be enlightened and embrace the power of mind, body spirit unity: all while hugging a tree, wearing a pair of stilettos and drinking a glass of wine in a sexy red dress.
Finding your spiritual bliss. This doesn’t mean you have to box yourself in, become holier than thou and give up everything else. In essence, it means you have the ability to expand beyond your physical self; We’re multi dimensional beings, made up of layers of conscious and unconscious experiences and roles all stored in our mind, bodies and soul. Only by approaching life as a whole in all of our glorious shades of perfect and imperfect color can we be our original, exceptional, sexy self …we wear many shoes, so be kind and forgiving with yourselves. Spirituality in Stilettos means different things to different people, so be different and be your own judge.
Follow your bliss. First, there is no secret timeline when it comes to Spiritual bliss. Spirituality is our own journey, whatever that may be. I just ask that you choose yours and not someone else’s. I do encourage you to let the fear creep in, face it, but don’t let it stunt you.
Embrace your childlike wonder, be curious, creative and answers will flow. Bliss comes from what your spirit needs, not textbooks, so when you feel doubt. I want to remind you to ask yourself a simple question. “Who has the right to judge your journey?” Continue reading
By Ryan Skinner
I had the wonderful opportunity this week to travel to Aruba for a vacation with my fiancée and future stepchildren. One evening, while sitting alone on the balcony of our room, gazing out in awe at the beautiful landscape and feeling warmed the balmy breezes, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of gratitude. I’m blessed with so many things – family and friends who love me, opportunities to meet and work with amazing people and the daily opportunity to express how grateful I am to God for giving this recovering addict a second chance at life. I’ve been in very dark places and know that my story could have ended differently. But this night in Aruba, like all of the days since I made the commitment to be clean and sober, offered another moment to reflect on the reality that if you do the right things, hang in there and choose to live God’s way, all of those blessings are possible.
Since I renewed my commitment to God and a life of meaning and purpose dedicated to helping others both professionally and personally, I’ve developed daily prayer, meditation and journaling rituals that help me get into the right spiritual mindset. I’ve been doing this ever since I got sober. I wake up by 6 a.m. at the latest and spend 30 minutes on a combination of praying (sometimes on my knees on a clean floor, but sometimes even at my kitchen counter having my morning coffee) and doing affirmation readings from books of positive quotes and writings that inspire me to live that day and be present. I spend a lot of time on gratitude. Whether it’s dark or light, I always light a candle. It’s just my way of bringing spirituality into the moment and connecting with God. My morning journaling is simple, just writing thank you to God for another day He has granted me. Continue reading
Most cultures in our world embrace some form of what we have come to call “music”. Some much more than others. Some cultures use music only in religious moments. Some extremely primitive cultures (by Western standards) haven’t even defined music yet. That is, they don’t call it music, but they still create and use some sounds as music nonetheless.
It could be easily argued that music in all its forms is the true universal language that ties the spirit of all living creatures together. Man, of course is God’s primary creature that consciously uses music to communicate his feelings, emotions and needs often without a single word being uttered or sung. But we’re not the only ones… (think about birds singing).
How can it be then, that music, used by billions of people every moment of every day, is not recognized as essential in its purpose? Ahhhh… the failings of mankind are pervasive. Still, it’s notable that our scientific community has recently discovered what most of us in the music community already knew:
Music affects ALL living creatures (a multitude of studies, anecdotal and scientific, suggest plant-life may also be positively and negatively impacted) such that it influences moods, sensations, emotions, physical growth, physical healings and emotional healings that can be quantified in bonafide studies. I like to say that music does all this and more by ‘speaking’ to us in a way that ALL people of ALL tribes innately grasp…. in a way that our ‘inner spirits’ always understand: the “language of music”.
The “language of music” is so powerful that it can move our spirits in ways we never really thought about: Continue reading