There’s one more out gay in the world today – horray! I woke up this morning to an email whose subject line read: Oy. Inside, the details of his coming out to his sister overseas in the middle of the night, her reaction (their father is NOT to be told, nor is her husband, but she’s his sister and loves him regardless), the crying, the drama. As any gay person will tell you, coming out, especially to family, is brutally difficult. So congrats to him. In this case he felt he had to as there was a chance of his niece coming to Canada for a visit, and the niece was asking if he had a girlfriend and all the usual personal questions that can make a queer cringe.
When I came out to my mother – the last to ‘know’ – in my circle of life, it was something I dreaded doing, surprise. My mother and I had a relationship I treasured and I was deathly afraid of ruining it. But, like the person behind this morning’s email, life pushed the issue. In my case I’d applied to be a Big Brother here in Toronto, and in their intense questioning of my personal life, per their policy, the fact I wasn’t out to my family entirely was a potential obstacle in approving my application. So once my staying in the closet was officially standing in the way of leading a life I wanted to live, it was time to call Mama. I remember lying on my couch with the phone to my ear, staring up at the ceiling, my heart pounding in my chest, twisting the phone cord with my finger. ”Do you know I’m gay, Mum?” She wasn’t thrilled, kinda-sorta-knew in a head-in-the-sand kind of way that British people are especially amazing at, and to this day the relief of doing it, of still being loved is tangible. It’s nice not to live a lie, even if that lie is only keeping the truth from people.
From H*I*M*B*O! www.shaunproulx.ca/himbo
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