Creating Balance in My Life

By on July 1, 2009 in Balance

All my life, I have given more of myself than needed to be given.  I have cared with more heart and soul about YOUR problems before I even addressed my own.  I have kept my mouth shut, for fear of hurting YOUR feelings, even though my own were hurt.  I have stayed until finally being left behind, so as to avoid having to break YOUR heart, even though mine was broken too.  I have cried silent tears and stifled unspoken words, all at MY expense.  It was as though you were more important than I… your wants, your needs, your feelings… and so all of my dreams, my wants, my needs, my feelings… have gone unmet.  They were candles in the wind.

Why?  What is the reason behind this behaviour?  What is it in me, that will not, CAN not love myself first and foremost amongst my family, friends and peers?  I know what I want, and when I don’t get it… I’ve too often settled for the path of least resistance, especially if that meant sparing your feelings… but what about mine?  What about me??

As I start this journey of self-love and self-acceptance, these are questions that I have still yet to answer.  There is no justifying how I’ve treated myself these last 31 years, and with that said I truly believe that it is time for a change.  It is time for me to start putting me first.  It is time to start addressing my own feelings, and my own dreams.  I have created this person that is me at this very moment, and I can create a whole new me, someone I’ll have to get to know, someone I’ll have to be kind to, someone I’ll have to love until she can love herself.

After all… what are friends for?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

About babysharren

I am 31 years old, living in Edmonton, AB, Canada, and I work full-time as the Administrative Assistant to the Operations Manager at a major pipe coating facility. I was born in Richmond, BC, but moved to Vancouver Island when I was 8 years old, as my parents were needed to take care of aging relatives. I lived there until I was 22, having graduated high school with honors, and completed my diploma program in Administrative Office Management. After my mother's passing in July of 2000, there was nothing left to keep me there, so I moved to Alberta, where I have lived for the past 9 years.  I first lived in Calgary for 2.5 years, then in Fort McMurray for a couple of months, where I met and fell in love with my life partner Dan, and together we now reside in Edmonton, AB and have lived here for the past 6 years.  We enjoy the devoted companionship of our two babies, our cats Brutus & Peepers... given to us by their mama, The Great Gizzmo Gatsby,... the only two kittens from her only litter, 7 months before she was killed by a car in front of our house.  Her babies were the best gift she could have ever given us.

View all posts by babysharren →

2 Responses to Creating Balance in My Life

  1. vtyogi July 4, 2009 at 5:28 am #

    GREAT!!! I have done the same for almost 43 years… It truly is time for a change..Why is it when I am upset with someone I will not tell them for fear they become upset with me? Is it because we feel we are not loveable, so if they reject us then we truly are? (unloveable).. How about because we KNOW we are loveable that we start sticking up for ourselves and treating ourselves as we wish to be treated.. only then can others treat us that way as well!

  2. babysharren July 9, 2009 at 1:52 pm #

    Isn't it weird how we work this way? I love your post Tiffany, and thank you for commenting. In fact it helps knowing that there are other like-minded people out there, because it makes this journey that much more meaningful believing that it is the right thing to do… for me, for you, for everybody else that has these same thought patterns.

    I have neglected myself for too long, and that is why I LOVE this website… I love that I can come in here, and read everybody's intents, read my own, and feel good about re-inventing my life and how I've thought all these years.