Many people spend years waiting for a soulmate to make them complete. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. Instead of expecting someone else to complete you, mastering the art of aloneness gives you mastery over your own life. It involves developing the self-awareness and life skills needed to live a full, happy, successful, and financially secure life—whether you’re living it alone or with someone else.
Mastering the art of aloneness not only enhances your relationship with yourself, it changes your relationships with others. Self-sufficiency builds self-esteem and confidence, allowing you to participate in relationships out of conscious choice instead of desperate need. Below are ten steps you can take to strengthen your relationship with yourself, and develop greater self-esteem, personal fulfillment, and financial security whether you’re on your own or in a relationship.
Ten Steps to Greater Self-Mastery
1. Learn about and develop who you are. Coaching, workshops, and therapy can help you uncover your strengths and passions, and liberate the person you were born to be.
2. Manage fear so it doesn’t manage you. Most fears are rooted in old beliefs adopted in childhood. When fear arises, identify and “update” self-defeating beliefs with ones that support you.
3. Live life by deliberation versus by default. Instead of living on autopilot, align your behaviors and actions with the results you want to achieve.
4. Become the partner you seek. Instead of waiting for someone else to transform your life, develop the personal qualities and life circumstances you’d want in an ideal partner.
5. Develop effective communication skills. Learn to express your feelings and needs in ways that diffuse conflict, won’t invoke others’ defensive reactions, and strengthens versus erodes relationships.
6. Build an inner support system. Strengthen your inner resources through adequate sleep and exercise, scheduling leisure time, and maintaining a healthy diet.
7. Develop an outer support system. Build friendships with people who are supportive, and utilize professional resources to help you reach your potential.
8. Take financial control. Make a list of your monthly expenses and income. If you live beyond your means, you need to alter your lifestyle or develop an action plan for earning the money to support it.
9. Do work you love, in which you can excel. The smaller the gap between who you are in your personal life and who you are at work, the happier you will be.
10. Create and live your ideal life. Write the book you long to write, buy your dream home, open your own business, instead of waiting for Prince or Princess Charming to provide the life you seek.
I love #3 and I highly recommend #7!!!
Great post!
wonderful,helpful,inspiring!!!
Great post- I'm going to keep this to keep in front of me everyday!
Excellent ten points and so effectively written! You've hit bull's eye in terms of its topical strength!
This is a smart blog. I mean it. You have so much knowledge about this issue, and so much passion. You also know how to make people rally
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Inspiring -thank you
An eye-opener and to be followed regularly..thanks Lauren!!
THANK YOU!!! This is just what I needed.
i am so moved by the honesty of this post. =)