Have you ever met someone for the first time and — not in a romantic or sexual way — inexplicably tumbled into a space-time vortex of pure human-to-human connection? As you talk with this stranger, a sense of urgency emerges, while simultaneously you lose track of how many minutes have passed. There’s so much to share! Your speech hastens, your gestures grow larger, your facial expressions more elaborate. Then you find you’re interrupting each other with gasps of, “Me, too!” and “You had a similar experience?” and “Wow.” You feel certain, even if you don’t really believe in reincarnation, that you met this individual in a previous life.
Suddenly, the spell breaks. Sounds and sights from your current reality come flooding back into your awareness. Your partner taps you on the shoulder. “Can we go now, please?” he groans, eyes rolling. Or you get to the front of the line at your favorite local café and the barista asks, “What would you like to order?” Or a siren wails down the street whose corner you’ve been occupying, startling you. You gaze about yourself in a daze. Fifteen minutes have passed, or three, or 60 — it doesn’t matter. You have discovered a soulmate.
This was my experience when I first met Chip Conley at a mutual friend’s birthday party in San Francisco in 2006. Psychology, Joseph Campbell and archetypes, personal transformation, Abraham Maslow and self-actualization, spirituality, yoga, Stanford–we zinged through topics like kids on Christmas morning, delighting as we opened one gift after another to find a cosmic meeting of the minds.
Ever since, Chip Conley has been a dear friend and one of my greatest inspirations in living the Life out Loud: Legendary founder and CEO for two decades of Joie de Vivre, which he grew to be America’s second-largest boutique hotel chain. Bestselling author of PEAK: How Great Companies Get Their Mojo from Maslow. TED speaker on Bhutan’s Gross Happiness Index and measuring what makes life worthwhile. All-around “super human,” to borrow from Chip’s own lexicon.
I’m thrilled about Chip Conley’s latest book, which hits the shelves on January 10: Emotional Equations(watch the whimsical illustrated book promo video here). Chip magically reduces complex conundrums and universal truths into simple equations that help us both understand ourselves and others, and escape from emotional traps that we unconsciously create.
My personal favorite from Emotional Equations is, not surprisingly:
I’m also a fan of Chip’s Happiness Equation: Wanting What You Have Divided By Having What You Want. Wanting what you have, for me, involves a daily practice of gratitude. Or as Tony, a homeless man I bought dinner for in Los Angeles on New Year’s Eve, put it: “Count your blessings.”
Chip lives and breathes the Life Out Loud more than anyone I have the privilege to call a friend. A few years back, he went through a difficult period: the economy collapsed and his hotel business was struggling; he broke up with a long-time life partner; and a dear friend committed suicide.
Yet unlike many other CEOs and public figures, Chip did not shy away from speaking the truth about how he came to overcome his despair by finding greater meaning in his life (hence his emotional equation:Despair = Suffering – Meaning). On the contrary, he shares his battles openly during his frequent public speaking engagements, and also tells the tale in Emotional Equations. I’ve seen the way audience members respond to this genuine expression of vulnerability, finding inspiration from Chip to confront their own demons.
Do you have any emotional equations that guide you in your life? If so, please share in the Comments section of this post and I’ll be sure to pass them along, or visit the Emotional Equations website and post your responses there.
Photo credit: Lisa Keating
Comments are closed.