It’s that time of year again…. Father’s Day. A day that I should be enjoying with my soon-to-be 29 year old daughter, but that won’t be happening this year either. You see, my daughter was effectively taken from me by; a court system with a bit of a reverse discrimniation problem, my own past inability to fight for what is right, and an ex whose favorite way of making those who didn’t conform to her wishes was to deny access to my daughter.
I was way too immature to have a child when my then wife & I bore a beautiful baby girl who we named Heather. Unfortunately for Heather, both of her parents were too immature to be much in the way of parents. On my own side, I was much more interested in being with my freinds and enjoying life than to stay at home and do all the things my ex thought a husband & father should do. My then-wife had her share of issues also, but I don’t discuss those anymore, it does no good to do so.
Needless to say, it was only a matter of time before the divorce came. We had decided to "keep the courts out" of our problems and promised each other that we would not stick our daughter in the middle of our issues. Like that was actually going to happen. The courts got involved 2 months later when my ex went on Welfare, and they brought me in to tell me how much I would be paying them for child support. "OK, that fair", I thought, so on we went. but as the years rolled on, it would take less and less to have my visitation suspended by my ex. (I had not pushed for court-ordered visitation since my ex promised that would be unnecessary) Eventually when I went on a vacation without telling my ex about it, she managed to have my daughter tell me she no longer wanted any contact from me. When I decided to try and get court ordered visitation, the DRO (domestic relations officer) I spoke to told me that I would have to develop a relationship with my daughter before they would consider such an order, I asked how it would be possible to do so if I was being denied access to her. I got a shrug for an answer, and the statement, "the judge will agree with me also". I knew I was beaten at this point and gave up.
So now I get the occasional news from one of my sisters who infrequently runs into my former wife, but Iin general I have no idea what is happening in Heather’s life, and she mine. I far as I know I could be a grandfatther (a possibility that is there, but somewhat disturbing). I Know she spent some time in the US Navy stationed in Okinawa, but that’s the last news I’ve heard, along withg a picture I have on my desk of her in her Navy uniform taken when she joined almost 10 years ago.
So, everyday, not just Father’s day, I think of my daughter, what does she look like, how’s her life going, Does she have her own family now, and I hope that all her dreams have come to fruition for her, and I know somehow that she’s turned out to be a good person- and that all a parent could hope for.
Namaste’
Robb
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