My feeling is, the better we feel about ourselves, the fewer times we have to knock somebody down in order to stand on top of their bodies and feel tall.” ~ Odetta
As I logged onto Facebook today, I saw a post from a “friend” who had received a mean spirited email about how she is a poor representative in her chosen career field. As expected, this person received multiple supportive posts saying almost exactly the same thing – “don’t worry, that person is just jealous”…In fact I thought the same thing when I had read the original post, but the more I thought about it, I was reminded of this quote by Odetta. Sure, the emailer probably is jealous on some level but underneath the misguided emotion of jealousy or intolerance is fear. Fear! Oh, this small 4 letter word creates havoc and chaos wherever it dares to creep. Being the expert at disguises, fear can look like anger, anxiety, jealousy, intolerance and hate but at the core it is nothing but FEAR! The first time someone posed the question to me “what are you afraid of?” I was taken aback. My original thought was “I am not afraid of anything! How dare you? Don’t you know me?” I think I might have even said those things out loud, but my friend dug deeper and asked me the same question, “What are you afraid of?” I had to think. I had to feel. I had to be honest and vulnerable to answer that question. I didn’t like being vulnerable. It was so much easier to be angry, indignant, self-righteous, and judgmental, because when I was those things, I didn’t have to look at me – I could continue to look at you and ‘stand on top of your body to feel tall’. But the truth is I didn’t like how felt standing up there on all those “bodies” – I was lonely. So, I answered my friend’s question. I was afraid of not being good enough, having enough, losing what little I thought I had, being alone, being a failure, being successful…turned out I as afraid of EVERYTHING! But coming to the realization that I didn’t need to be afraid of you or me or failure or success or loss or gains, was freeing. I was then truly allowed to feel life and not just react to it. Do I falter? Do I like how I feel all the time? Do I still go to the place of fear? ABSOLUTELY! There are times when I find it is easier to just “give in” and want to feel tall at the expense of another person, but I never feel tall for very long – in fact I feel quite small. I am then reminded of my friend’s question so many years ago – “What am I afraid of?” and when I answer that question, thoughtfully and honestly, I begin to grow taller on my own standing next to people not on top of them.
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hi there… as someone who had irrational fear for 4 years I know what you are saying.. HAve you had a major life change recently? THat is what triggered mine.
What snapped me back a bit (it can still sneak up on me but I seem to have more awareness now) was a conversation with my boyfriend about my fear…fear of losing everything and having to live on the streets…he mentioned that this is a very controlling way to be…I was shocked..ME? controlling??? But once I really thought about it I saw he was exactly right.. I think subconsiously I believed if I worried enough that it would keep the wolves at bay. Fear is faith in the negative… I also found EFT. this helped tremendously to release the tightness fear created in my chest. There are many websites on this. A woman on this site is a big EFT person… Noreen Baron, check out her blogs..
I hope some of this helps??? I wouldnt wish that feeling of fear on ANYONE…if you ever need someone to listen or what ever feel free to send me a private message!
look for the positive and try to focus on just TODAY..everything is okay TODAY…
Many causes are there for the root of suffering but sages say we can boil it into one. Ignorance about the nature of reality, when a being forgets that he has a soul, that his source is routed in eternal being separation resolves and from separation all other pain and suffering follows.
A person thinks only material existence is real and becomes totally ignorant of his real nature. He accepts the illusion of time and space. When this happens contact with the source is lost. The voice of the soul begins to grow fainter and fainter drifting in separation the person begins to look desperately for something to cling to. Life can not abide being without a foundation, therefore the mind creates an entity call EGO, this I is the same as the personality. It is constructed from all kind of experiences and as these experiences begin to matter and so the ego values these and the I and the needs to be defend no matter what. The ego has many needs and so he begins to value the fulfillment of those needs. The whole world becomes a way to make the ego stronger more important and more secure. To that end it pulls all kind of objects toward itself: food cloth, shelter, power, money etc. This strategy seems to work for a time, although it never comes truly secure, ego finds that it can be filled up by acquiring more and more. No one can gain complete control over the environment however, therefore the ego has to spend a lot of deal of time avoiding pain and danger. As attractive as certain things are other are equally repulsive, caught in a world of seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, the person achieves many goals, the years pass and separation seems to be not a problem any more how ever there is and end to this acquiring. All this experience for the sake of experience, over it all looms the certainty that life will end, fear of death becomes the source of suffering, because death is the undeniable reminder that the ego strategy for survival never solved the original problem ignorance about things really work.
If it is true that the five pleasures are still at work an who can denay that they are, then the influence of the soul is crucial, its pleasure has its own momentum, we all know the powerful addiction of money, power, carrier and ego needs of every-time. This momentum has kept suffering alive despite the enormous changes in human existence from age to age. Against this momentum the soul provides the means of solving every cause of pain. Ignorance of reality solves by dwelling deeper into the mind. Awareness dives deeper than the material level to find its roots. Identification with ego is solved by learning to identify with these deeper levels. Attraction to outside objects and repulsion fro them is solved by valuing the inner live above all. Fear of death is solved when the soul is experienced directly, since the soul is never born and never dies. If you explore the true nature of reality all pain will come to an end.