This weekend I bought a pair of designer jeans – normally $250 – for $25. And, I can’t say I am happy about it.
I had been eyeing the jeans for a while, but couldn’t justify the expense. $250 just didn’t seem right for a pair of jeans…
So, when they were $25, I quickly grabbed them.
From a rack with dozens of jeans, all $25.
From a store that is going out of business.
From a salesperson who was chatting with her fellow worker while I tried on the jeans about dropping her health insurance now that she won’t have a job.
Who was thinking about moving back home with her parents.
From a chic avenue where its seems every week a new store is shutting down.
Today, we saw a beautiful house on the market for a great price. A fire sale to avoid a foreclosure. Looks like the people have been living there for years. Its a beautiful home, somewhere where kids probably have great memories. From the photos in the house and the decorated rooms, kids who are still in elementary or junior high school.
I could not think of buying that house. Bad karma. Too much guilt …
So as the economy suffers, what do we do with all this emotional baggage. Take the deal and feel good about. Do our part by putting money back into the system, and avoid the guilt, the stories, the people?
What, pray tell, do I do with my new pair of expensive designer jeans?
So, if you didn't buy those jeans, would it change anything? Nope. The store would still go out of business.
If you chose not to buy the house, would it change anything for that family? Probably not very much- in fact foreclosure may be a worse option for them.
Other peoples experiences are out of your control. I think it is as simple as that. Those who are thriving during these times aren't doing anything wrong. And those who are not are the ones who must change their ways. Tough to look at it that way for some, but isn't that what responsibility is all about?
I think this is sort of like saying the sun should not shine, so those who live in rainy weather will not have to know the difference between a rainy day and a sunny day. I think those who are shining need to keep it up- for they are the light houses during these stormy times, so to speak. Don't feel bad- keep shining.
I'd also like to add- the reason it feels bad is because you are deviating from who you really are in your thoughts about those people suffering. You have an inner knowing that knows this is just a stepping stone on their way to thriving- and you will feel alot better as you re-focus and see them where they want to be- not where they are. Hope that helps.
But I still cant help feeling sad about it…
I'm with you Mallika,I would be in the deep pit of guilt. What I would do with the jeans? I don't have a clue
I had a two hour discussion with my friend just some time back on the whole situation and two more of my friends talked about it today. Everyday someone from my friends group talks about it or tells about someone who lost job. There is so much negativity that one cannot help being sad and depressed about the whole situation even when one might not be the direct sufferer. It feels bad, very bad, especially if I put myself in their situation. We can only keep our chin up, hope for the best and keep trying to help ourselves and others.
Peace and Love
Garima
Well… to put it another way- every so often we have forest fires here in Colorado, and there are those who will see it as tragedy, and those who will see it as a cycle of nature. After all- without the fires, the forest would not grow any further, and the new seeds on the forest floor would never have a chance to germinate.
So if having everything stay the same is what we want- then yes, this is all a horrible crisis. But for the past 8 years, collectively, the world has wanted improvement, so the 'forest fire' is necessary.
There are those will stare at the burnt trees and feel bad, and there are those who will look forward to the magnificent growth that is to come. If you want to feel good, you have to look forward at what is coming, and in the mean time, enjoy some cheap firewood.
Bind with nature. Become Yogis and Yoginis!
Love
Rajesh
http://rajeshmsharma.blogspot.com
Mallika you're like me! When Ray was talking about foreclosures I remember chatting with Dana Shields and Razz about this same thing (back and forth on her Intent)…the bad karam (ma) of buying a house that 'had someone's tears on it' they felt it was no biggie…but I don't know…glad to see you had the same thinking like me here so I wasn't alone…as I told them I don't know I guess it is how I was brought up like my grandmother would have said the same thing say…what spun into the discussion too was back in my grandmother's time in a small indian immigrant community on an island…the people in the village would not have allowed such a thing as a forclosure to happen perhaps in the first place cause they helped each other out so much…and of course if you look at a foreclosure in the context of I then have nothing…as oppose to well I bought a house that was just way above my needs and now I've just moving but into a smaller thing…it is different from going from house to homeless…but aren't some people like that in modern day America too? Harsh society no?
Well, I'm sure what you saved on those jeans, Mallika, you will feed back into the human race with interest.
We are here to make Love……or should I say redefine It?
Hey, that goes for me, too! Hell's bells!
Well… what I'd do with the new pair of cheap designer jeans is use them to find out who I am and what is important to me. I'd look at them and recognize that I love wearing a pair of great jeans, that I don't love them so much as to spend a fortune on them, and that I also care a lot about people and their lives. So… there would be no conflict between these aspects of me- I would wear my cheap designer jeans with joy and continue to put all my energy (unobstructed by guilt) on doing something to help people.
Seeing 80% and 90% discounts on clothes and such, I had the thought that now is the perfect opportunity to buy those things not for ourselves, but for those who can't even afford $25.00 jeans. All over, where stores are closing, we might buy some of that heavily discounted clothing not for ourselves, but to donate to charity. A Goodwill, a Veteran's organiization. Buy $1000.00 worth of clothing for $100.00 and give it away! That might make you feel better….
Phillip! I like your thinking.
I've noticed a key difference in the way I am viewing this recession, and the way many are viewing it. I seem to be more concerned that people feel bad about it, while many feel bad about the circumstance itself. Kinda interesting.
Interesting post… And comments.
My one main gripe will be that any pair of jeans that's "worth" $250 is a tad disturbing in the first place. What's worse is the fact that in all likelihood, the people who made the jeans will hardly see a mere tiny percentage of that $250, ever. It's utterly ridiculous.
So, for me, I would never purchase those jeans, or even consider patronizing that store. Even at $25, they are likely not taking a total loss.
I'm just looking at it from a consumerist, materialistic point of view. Sorry if it sounds too negative.
tb
Millions of people in forclosure shoul not have been able to get a loan in the first place..we all know that by now, I knew it when it was happening some years ago. there are also many, many people who, for whatever reason, just can no longer pay their mortgage. The reasons do not matter. When paople do not pay for their car loans or leases, their cars are repossed, as they should be.
More than 94% of home owners are responsible and paying their mortgage on time.
There is no constitutional right to owning homes or cars …..or even designer jeans, and as for any Jeans over $25 is a pure waste of good money. Pure waste.
In love and peace,
Razz
There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. ~ Shakespeare, as quoted in the frontispiece of "Science and Health with Key to The Scriptures" by Mary Baker Eddy (Mother of Modern Metaphysics; Final 1910 Edition freely available at HealingUnlimited.org and Gutenberg.)
The Universe is full of infinite abundance for all, but as I understand it, all do not realize their full potential at the same time on this plane of existence. You attracted a wonderful gift and, IMHO, the highest expression of gratitude would be to wear them proudly, demonstrating the Law of Giving & Receiving by example! Until later, mon amie…
Celebrate Life & learning ~ I AM!
Penne & the CanDo! Crew
)
iLearn in Freedom Network
We are seeing the greatest transfer of wealth in human history. What was a $250 label on a pair of jeans now selling for $25 is just a symptom.
From what used to be the world's manufacturing powerhouse, we have capital flying into the hands of oil producers at an unprecedented rate. Our margins are getting thinner and thinner, our moments for opportunity, fewer. Every dollar that is printed and spent on some infrastructure project eventually winds its way to the gas pump, and then we're stuck with paying it back with interest.
What's the first thing you noticed happening throughout the country on 9/11? People went straight to the gas station as if to pay homage. It was like a form of worship.
So we can talk about the economy, about jobs, health care…even labels on jeans, but until we have definitively solved our oil addiction, we're just buying time in the SELF SERVICE line.
>>>>People went straight to the gas station as if to pay homage. It was like a form of worship.<<<<
Going to the source of 'power,' eh, Dana Shields?
How come the 'children' are so misguided?
Dig deep, my friend.
Depression and suffering economy is sign of change. Change is some time difficult for some.
Try to understand the birth of a child. A new life is born. Non breathing child starts breathing. One moment there is pain and other moment there is new life, happiness all around.
Current suffering economy is sign of new way of life.
As Dave said "the world has wanted improvement, so the 'forest fire' is necessary."
Current pain is giving birth to better set up, better way of living and probably inching toward global peace which is being indicated by Deepak.
Love
Rajesh
http://rajeshmsharma.blogspot.com
Mallika, I understand your emotions well, but I was thinking to myself a little down to earth rationality might do the trick here. Go back to the store and offer the clerk to pay her medical insurance! Thats money well spent, I would say. We don't need excuses like designer jeans to spread the money where it is needed. We're free to do whatever we want with them!
Best Wishes
Sara
dave…love love LOVE your way of thinking!! I too had been buying into the guilt… shouldnt be spending money yada yada…but you are right. I am doing alright.. I work hard, I dont get into debt.. i should be psyched that the change is coming, and when i purchase something feel good as I am keeping the energy flowing…
keep on writing your thoughts… I love it!!
Mallika,
It was good that you bought those jeans. All of us have to buy whatever we need and the best prices we can. Your small purchase has pushed $25 in the market, that stores person will buy something else with that money.
Buying in recession makes lot of sense as that helps us in coming over.
Realization of correct value is not so important, what is more important is that transactions shall keep happening.
Best wishes
Hi Mallika,
I think feeling badly is a wake up call. It is the stirring of your soul that is seeking solutions. Let it simmer and I believe you
Kindness, compassion, joy and freedom to everyone, forever.
What Dave said is very very true and very wise. How we percieve things is based on how we perceive ourselves! You have not caused anything bad by buying the jeans. Wear them in joy and good health. Prices have become inflated because of designer clothes and designer everything. I am a yoga teacher in the middle of Kansas. I have a very low income and have hardly had to pay any taxes in the last few years as I am below the "poverty" level. Even so, I am cutting my fees this Spring and Summer to allow more people to afford my classes. By the way, I have not had health insurance for more than 25 years, and I am almost 65 years old. There is plenty of "hard times" out there to go around, but its my perception of myself in relation to the world that keeps me from giving up. I might add that my yoga practice is a very deep well of strength and creativity for me.
Namaste,
Ana
Somebody may have already said this but as I've heard before…You can't be sick enough as to make another person well. You can't be hungry enough to cure another's hunger. We should all be striving for abundance on various levels as long as it is not at the expense of another. Wearing your jeans harms no one.
If anything, your purchase helps to keep that store in business one more day…Buying a home by fire sale releases that family from obligation. Inhabiting a home once tainted by the stresses of foreclosure replaces the doom with positivity.
I believe that as we enjoy and share our abundance with an awareness, guilt should not be involved. A conscious effort to relieve the misfortunes of others can be done in so many ways. Counteracting the negativity with positive efforts is all we can do.
The concept for this website is a shining example of how that is done.
@Emelia: Beautiful stated, as are others here, in words which closely express my sentiments on the subject. Thanks to you and Mallika, too, for bringing this concern to our attention!
Sending rays of warmth & sunshine your way ~ I AM!
Penne & the CanDo! Crew
)
Hangin' out here in central Florida,
Where the Mouse & the manatees play… all day!
Thank you everyone for your wonderful comments! I have really enjoyed reading each comment and perspective here, and am grateful that my dilemma created more awareness and discussion!
And for those who have asked me – and several have – where I bought the jeans, it was at a jean bar on the corner of Montana and Euclid in Santa Monica. Some great discounts available there! And perhaps some more sales will help them out.
I often buy cheap designer jeans at resale shops like Buffalo Exchange and My Sister's Attic. No new jeans had to be manufactured for me to wear a stylie, new-to-me designer pair and I am supporting a business that sells fashionable, second-hand clothes for men, women, and teens at killer deals…They also allow customers to sell back clean, gently-worn items for a little extra shopping or grocery money.
Kami Gray
Author of THE DENIM DIET: Sixteen Simple Habits to Get You into Your Dream Pair of Jeans (New World Library) – Available at bookstores everywhere!
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