My Intent is to find more balance
What Does It Mean to Find More Balance?
Balance may be one of the most elusive things there is in life: How often are most of us typically able to find equilibrium between work, relationships, activities, and the need for time alone? Put another way, who isn’t striving to find at least a somewhat equal division between what we want to do and what we have to do? We all recognize the benefits of a life lived, if not in complete balance, then at least one that’s not completely lopsided in one direction or another. This 101 offers tips, tools, resources, and exclusive expert advice to help you reach your intention to find more balance in your life.How Can I Achieve My Intent?An exclusive round-up of the best thinking from leading experts“Learn to say ‘no,’ and prioritize when you do. Whether from a desire to please or from fear of offending someone important in our lives, many of us say ‘yes’ to requests too often. When we do that, we either end up failing in our commitments, living with stress that is damaging to our health and productivity, or simply wasting valuable time and resources on unimportant tasks.” — Robert Drago, Ph.D., professor of labor studies and women’s studies at Pennsylvania State University, and author of Striking a Balance: Work, Family, Life“When you are looking to find balance in your life, the key is to strive to live in the moment. When you are at work, focus on work. When you are with your family, focus on your family. When you are out having fun with your friends, focus on your friends. We often miss out on the enjoyment of our lives because we waste our time and energy worrying about what else we should be doing at any given time. Set your priorities and spend your time wisely, but enjoy what you are doing while you are doing it. In doing so, you will effectively find balance between the competing interests in your life.”– Lori K. Long, Ph.D., author of The Parent’s Guide to Family Friendly Work“Write down the five things you love in your life. Keep these precious five roots in balance in the center of your life and never do anything that allows you to venture far from these roots of love.” — Kathleen Hall, Ph.D., founder and CEO of the Stress Institute and the Mindful Living Network“Emotional balance is not a state, but an ongoing process of cultivating awareness and adapting to the myriad influences on our feelings as we move through life. Writing is a powerful tool of emotional balance; it’s personal, creative, flexible, and accessible. In the process of writing for emotional balance, the page (or screen) can become a plane between the internal and external worlds. Through this plane, excess emotion can be dumped and contained, confusion can be sorted, and the tiniest seed of hope or of a new idea can flower. How can you start using writing to help manage your emotions? Experiment with the contrast of writing’s powers to let feelings out and bring feelings in. Think of the most upsetting thing that’s happened to you lately and use one page to vent. Just keep physically writing and let the feelings flow out. On a second page write a list of things that soothe you when you feel the overwhelming emotion you described. Include sensory experiences, specific people, activities – anything that can help you feel calm and comfort. Through these two pages, you’ll create a brief sample of how writing can help you find both release and structure.” — Beth Jacobs, Ph.D., adjunct faculty at Northwestern University Medical School and author of Writing for Emotional Balance: A Guided Journal to Help You Manage Overwhelming Emotions“Creating a balanced life can be smooth and simple: Relax, take a deep breath, and start one minute at a time. Take one minute each day and connect with your inner self (your soul-self). Simply close your eyes and take some deep breaths and bring your attention inward. For one minute, let go of all distractions and focus on connecting with your soul-self. Honoring yourself in this way is the foundation for a balanced life. Do this simple exercise as frequently as you want during the day. You’ll be surprised by the powerful changes that can follow such a simple ritual; before long you will feel more calm, centered, balanced, and peaceful.” – Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D., soul psychologist and founder of ipopin.com, the 1-Minute Affirmations.“Balance is at the heart of feng shui, the ancient Chinese art of finding balance in your environment to promote good health and prosperity. The element of fire illustrates the importance of maintaining balance; too much fire burns down a house, and too little fire makes you cold. The right amount, though, keeps you warm and cooks your food – and that makes you happy. We must remind ourselves that when we are a ‘raging fire’ – with an overly busy life – we are also too busy to be effective, and that makes us unhappy and out of balance. Multitasking is a great example of this; studies have shown multitasking is actually less productive. We are the most effective when we do tasks in a persistent, focused way, working rather than ‘raging.’ That’s because ‘busy’ doesn’t always equal ‘productive.’ ‘Busy’ makes us unhappy, while ‘productive’ makes us content – and in balance.” – Kathryn Weber, master feng shui consultant and publisher of The Red Lotus Letter feng shui e-zineWhere Do I Start?Start by thinking of balance as less of a goal to be achieved and checked off your list and more as an ongoing exercise that’s best approached with patience, compassion for yourself, and a healthy dose of humor. One day it may be easy, the next utterly impossible, but you’ll continue to strive for less lopsidedness in your life over time.One place to start: Keep a time diary for at least a week, longer if you’re able. Begin your journal at a time that’s fairly typical for your usual schedule (not during the holidays or in the middle of a move, for example) so you get an accurate sense of the demands on you. Track your days in 15-minute increments to see how you’re spending your time and also how you feel about what you’re doing (for example, exhausted, energized, happy, sad, resentful, excited).When you look at back at your diary you can start to prioritize, noting what’s truly necessary (How much time would you save if you cut back on TV-watching? Did you really need to volunteer for that extra project at work?) and what’s not and what you could be doing more efficiently to allow for things you’d like to do but aren’t finding time or energy for now.Best Sites & Organizations American Feng Shui InstituteBest Products
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