How do I overcome my mind ….. To stop my fear of death and find purpose and peace in the present moment with out worrying why I am even on this earth… ? I feel like an alien… For this issue makes me bitter, angry, lonely, and afraid to be a part of. Please Help Me!
Answer:
I’m afraid my answer for you is simple but doesn’t happen instantly. You have built up your identity around the idea of being separate from others, separate from your body and separate from your surroundings. That separation is the root of your fear and loneliness.
To get beyond the fears and worry of your mind you need to transcend the mind altogether. That means practice meditation so that you experience your true self as unlimited awareness, pure being. When you know yourself as the stillness of consciousness, you know peace, your know your purpose, and you belong to the earth because the universe belongs to you. This won’t necessarily happen all at once, but this is the direction you need to travel, and as you establish more and more of your real self, more peace and happiness will emerge in your life.
Time Magazine heralded Deepak Chopra as one of the 100 heroes and icons of the century, and credited him as "the poet-prophet of alternative medicine." Entertainment Weekly described Deepak Chopra as "Hollywood's man of the moment, one of publishing's best-selling and most prolific self-help authors." He is the author of more than 50 books and more than 100 audio, video and CD-Rom titles. He has been published on every continent and in dozens of languages. Fifteen of his books have landed on the New York Times Best-seller list. Toastmaster International recognized him as one of the top five outstanding speakers in the world. Through his over two decades of work since leaving his medical practice, Deepak continues to revolutionize common wisdom about the crucial connection between body, mind, spirit, and healing. His mission of "bridging the technological miracles of the west with the wisdom of the east" remains his thrust and provides the basis for his recognition as one of India's historically greatest ambassadors to the west. Chopra has been a keynote speaker at several academic institutions including Harvard Medical School, Harvard Business School, Harvard Divinity School, Kellogg School of Management, Stanford Business School and Wharton.His latest book is "Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul."
Peace doesn’t require two people; it requires only one. It has to be you. The problem begins and ends there. – Byron Katie
I love Byron Katie. I really do. I had a read a ton of literature on happiness – from academic studies to the Dalai Lama – and nothing helped me let go of my stressful thoughts like her simple process called “the Work.“
Earlier this year I had a pretty challenging phone conversation with my father. He wants his grandson vaccinated, but my husband and I have decided not to vaccinate our son.
We made this choice after a lot of thought, and for some pretty compelling reasons, but after sharing with my father the evidence behind our decision, he held to his belief that the benefits of vaccination outweigh the risks.
So my father—seemingly out of the blue—called and insisted that we vaccinate our son. As we talked, it quickly became obvious that I was not going to convince him that I was "right", nor was he going to convince me that I was "wrong".
He was frustrated and angry. I was upset, too. I got off the phone and wondered how we were going to feel better if we were not going to be able to agree.
Then I remembered Byron Katie. And I decide to apply the work to my stressful thought, “My dad should accept my views about vaccinating my son.”
To do the Work you ask yourself four questions. I list them now, along with the answers I gave to them at the time of my story.
Is it true?
Yes. I am an adult and the mother of my son and my father should accept my views about vaccinating. He doesn’t have to agree with me on the issue, but he shouldn’t argue with me about it.
Can I absolutely know that it’s true?
Um, no.
How do I react when I think that thought?
I am sad and angry and resentful that my dad is imposing his views on my parenting. I am fearful that he will withhold love or respect if I don’t do what he thinks is best.
Who would I be without that thought?
I would love my dad. He is an amazing father and grandfather. There are so many things that I love and appreciate about him!
After going through these questions, you do what Katie calls “the turnaround.” You try to imagine yourself in the position of the person you have judged, or whose situation causes you distress.
It is sometimes challenging to do this, but you will have huge awakenings when you can. In fact, you will often find that you have also transgressed—or are also suffering—in some manner similar to people or situations you have judged.
I realized that I was being as obstinate as I judged my father to be. I wanted my dad to accept my views, but I was not able to accept his. Immediately I felt a shift in my perspective and I could see how my dad was expressing concern for my son’s well being.
And I saw that I didn’t have to agree with him on the vaccination issue to appreciate his concern.
Shortly after I realized this, I e-mailed my dad, explaining how grateful I was that he shared my desire that my son be healthy. It took another few hours, but soon he wrote back saying he respected my position and appreciated the respect I had shown for his motives.
And by doing the Work and sharing my appreciation we were all able to find peace.
Stacey Curnow works as a certified nurse-midwife in North Carolina, and over more than 15 years her career has taken her from western Indian reservations to a center-city Bronx hospital to the mountains of southwestern Mexico.
She has been an enthusiastic student of positive psychology for years and applies it to her midwifery and life coaching practices with great success. You can find out more about her services at www.midwifeforyourlife.com.
She is the creator of a thriving blog and many of her articles have been published in print magazines and online.
She lives in Asheville, NC with her husband, young son, and Ruby the wonder chicken.
see and feel the world and every thing and every body in it as your Self. see and feel your Self in every thing and every body in the world.
I really like the above comment.
I really LOVE what Deprok has to say on this topic and in his blog on Anger. Anger is a huge issue for me.
I do meditate-but not enough. I intend on really meditating 1-2 times each day!