Following Another’s Vision of Success

By on April 23, 2010 in Work & Life

Question:

I am 31 years old. Married. My father has been an extremely successful person in his life, professionally and personally. I have a younger brother who to is heading in my father footsteps in his life and career which makes us all very happy and proud. My wife is an extremely talented, intelligent and hardworking woman who has her dreams and aims and which she is extremely capable of achieving. Among all this happy scenario, I am stuck in a life which seems to be going nowhere. Careerwise I am going nowhere in spite of putting in my best efforts and success seems to be indifferent to me. I cant leave this job for certain reasons which are beyond my control for at least another 10 years. And by then I think it will all be too late for anything. What seems to be easy and ordinary for other people just doesn’t happen to me. all along in my conscious memory my life has been a string of failed attempts, so near yet never there episodes. I have repeatedly tried to put my failures aside
  and work harder but still it has been for nothing. I am a believer but of late have started feeling that even God has turned a blind eye to my situation. I really feel desperate for some miracle to pull me out of this gloom but I don’t know whether that will ever happen. I feel my life is just running out without any purpose. I have tried taking solace in good books to find my answers but to no avail. I hate to be in this kind of melancholy but don’t know what to do. I feel that I am wasting my wife’s life too because of my situation. I am not sure if anyone will have any answers. What do you think? Is there hope?

Answer:

You are evaluating success in your life according to your father’s and brother’s and maybe even your wife’s  standard of success. You are assuming that “going somewhere” in your career means following their path, rather than discovering your own. It doesn’t seem to have occurred to you that the reason you are not swiftly climbing the corporate ladder is that you aren’t supposed to—that is not the path of fulfillment for you.  Working hard to attain a goal that is not yours and is not natural to you is a recipe for misery. You must figure out what your own purpose and path is and follow that. Even if it means you stay where you are for another 10 years, so what? When   you are pursuing your dharma, the path itself is fulfilling.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself and wake up to your higher purpose. You have so much to be grateful for in your life and all you can talk about  is gloom, hopelessness  and failure. Change your perspective about success, find out what really matters in your life, and these problems you speak of will vanish.

Love,

Deepak

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About Deepak Chopra

Time Magazine heralded Deepak Chopra as one of the 100 heroes and icons of the century, and credited him as "the poet-prophet of alternative medicine." Entertainment Weekly described Deepak Chopra as "Hollywood's man of the moment, one of publishing's best-selling and most prolific self-help authors." He is the author of more than 50 books and more than 100 audio, video and CD-Rom titles. He has been published on every continent and in dozens of languages. Fifteen of his books have landed on the New York Times Best-seller list. Toastmaster International recognized him as one of the top five outstanding speakers in the world. Through his over two decades of work since leaving his medical practice, Deepak continues to revolutionize common wisdom about the crucial connection between body, mind, spirit, and healing. His mission of "bridging the technological miracles of the west with the wisdom of the east" remains his thrust and provides the basis for his recognition as one of India's historically greatest ambassadors to the west. Chopra has been a keynote speaker at several academic institutions including Harvard Medical School, Harvard Business School, Harvard Divinity School, Kellogg School of Management, Stanford Business School and Wharton.His latest book is "Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul."
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4 Responses to Following Another’s Vision of Success

  1. moviesmovies April 23, 2010 at 10:46 am #

    Wonderful perspective Deepak. Thanks so much to person who posted the question. I think many of us, including me, find ourselves in a similar situation. Maybe a slightly different story, but a very similar theme. Since this is a web site of intents and support, I want the let the person who submitted the question know he is supported and I will be doing exactly what Deepak says, as the advise is timeless, relevant and I know will bear fruit.

  2. Kristen Thurman April 23, 2010 at 2:23 pm #

    Maybe this will offer some inspiration http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGGKQTU7KI8 !

  3. sosympl April 26, 2010 at 9:01 am #

    I don't believe the writer was saying he wasn't grateful, in fact in sounded like he tries not to be down about his situation. I can relate… I am extremely grateful for all the good in my life, but not having found my purpose weighs heavily. All the soul searching, reading all of Deepaks and others writings, making lists of what brings me joy… nothing has helped me find my dharma and my path… grateful as I am for it… is not fulfilling. What are some of your suggestions as to how to find one's path?

  4. sosympl April 26, 2010 at 5:01 pm #

    I don’t believe the writer was saying he wasn’t grateful, in fact in sounded like he tries not to be down about his situation. I can relate… I am extremely grateful for all the good in my life, but not having found my purpose weighs heavily. All the soul searching, reading all of Deepaks and others writings, making lists of what brings me joy… nothing has helped me find my dharma and my path… grateful as I am for it… is not fulfilling. What are some of your suggestions as to how to find one’s path?