Hardship or Challenge?

Living a life that is strewn with hardship can be down right depressing. When you feel like you are always trying to paddle against the current, it is very easy to get stuck in pools of self pity and hopelessness. Even the most positive thinkers can develop a “Why Bother?” attitude when there are numerous or prolonged hardships in their lives.

I have battled with trying to keep a “positive” attitude many, many times. It is so easy for others to say “keep your chin up”, “things will get better soon”, “don’t let it get you down”, “think positive”, or “there are worse things that can happen, consider yourself lucky”. Although all of these cliché sayings are meant to help you get through hardship, they usually lack any life changing motivation.

When you are on the receiving end of these types of comments, they can actually make you feel more isolated with your problems. You walk away feeling like the person either doesn’t have the ability or the desire to understand how difficult your situation is or how deeply it is affecting you. When you feel misunderstood or alone in your struggle, it is even easier to become despondent or depressed.

A change in attitude is absolutely beneficial when your life seems like an uphill battle. But finding a substantial belief that changes the very core of your thinking patterns is not easy; and for most of us, an over-used positive attitude saying just doesn’t cut it!

I am not a perky, naive, always looking on the bright side, type of person. I have and continue to struggle against hardships that seem to just drop out of the sky. Currently, my husband and I are both out of work and have been since late last fall. I am also struggling with some neurological pain as a result of my lung surgery over five months ago. And to be honest, I am also suffering from some post traumatic stress issues after being told a year ago that I had either lung cancer or lymphoma. Luckily for me, the quack who told me that I had a disease that does not have a high survival rate was wrong. The 3½ cm tumor turned out to be non cancerous and seven months later it was successfully removed. The physical scar of this ordeal is ugly and in plain sight. The emotional scars are deeper, harder to deal with, and more difficult for others who have not experienced it to understand.

Yet I am maintaining a good attitude, I am positive about the future, I am still able to experience joy, I live my life with gratitude, and I still dream, I still hope, and I still believe that my life good. Again, I am not naïve, I don’t have a constant cheery disposition, and I’m not what you would call religious. So how do I remain positive about my life during hardship? I simply do not consider struggle and hardship to be negative experiences. I believe that these challenges are for my benefit; or that someone else, maybe a loved one, is going to benefit from my experiences.

If you can believe that every experience, good or bad, happens for a      reason, then it is much easier to remain positive. I have endured many hardships but I have learned something from each one.

I understand and can empathize with: teen runaways, single moms, the parents of children who are repeatedly in and out of hospitals, people who have lost a loved one in a tragic accident, hard working people who can’t seem to get ahead, people on disability or social assistance, people who have been misdiagnosed, misinformed, or mistreated by so called professionals, the parents of children with learning disabilities, the unemployed, the depressed, the parents of troublesome teenagers, and people who have heard those two dreaded words – “It’s cancer”. And I’m only half way through this wonderful life!

I think that I have a lot to offer this world, and I would not be who I am, or who I can be in the future, if I had not been challenged so many times. I look at every experience, especially the difficult ones, as an opportunity to learn, grow, and not just survive but excel. My experiences have changed me; they’ve made me more aware of other people’s struggles, they have made me less judgmental, and they have taught me to enjoy the simple pleasures in life.

If you turn your hardships into challenges, and accept all of your experiences as opportunities to learn, grow, and share, you too might find it easier to not just cope but thrive.