An 8-year-old girl is drowning in a pond. Her head is bobbing up and down the surface of the water, and she is clearly struggling to stay afloat. You happen to walk by this pond. There is no one else around.
Would you save this girl?
Of course you would. Most people will drop what they are doing to save this child without a moment’s hesitation.
26,000 girls are drowning in 26,000 ponds all around the world. You are on the other side of the world, with your own daily problems and everyday tasks to worry about.
Would you save these girls?
If you are like most people, probably not.
New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof presents this theoretical scenario in a recent column "Would You Let This Girl Drown?" Why is it that people are less inclined to help others when it involves a large number of people?
For example, he cites a study where soliciting $30,000 to help a 7-year-old girl from Africa raised money with far more success than soliciting for the same amount that benefited 8 people instead of just one.
He also acknowledges the diffusion of responsibility that occurs when there are billions of bystanders present in face of human suffering. When there are more people around us sharing equal responsibility, we individually feel less inclined to take initiative or to reach out to help–whether it is a strange falling down in the street, or a child dying of malaria on the other side of the world.
Our natural human empathy is not wired to focus on a number, a region, or a cause. When we are given high death tolls or the complex geo-politics of the particular issue, we grow numb with a sense of helplessness. On the other hand, when we focus on specific people with names, faces, and families, and we are given a specific action step to ease their suffering, then our desire to help flows more naturally.
I also suspect this is the reason why TOMS shoes has been doing so well, famous for its promise that for every TOMS shoes you buy, a pair of shoes will be donated to a child in Africa. Giving a certain percentage of the shoe price to a large charity organization is not as personable as the mental image of a poor child overjoyed at the prospect of receiving a new pair of shoes. We get that instant mental gratification when we choose to buy TOMS shoes.
I hope that Nicolas Kristof’s column sparks constructive dialogue within non-profit organizations and charities around the world–and also within every global citizen with a desire to help. Though we cannot change the strange hard-wiring of our human empathy, we can work with it by its own terms to bring as much peace and relief to as many people as possible–one child, one person, one family at a time.
Dear Mallika,
What a brilliant way of calling people's attention to the need around them and also to the fact that our mind sometimes plays tricks at our expense!
I had never noticed what you are saying now, that people more easily give to one precise person, than to many faceless ones. But that may be precisely the reason: one needs still to get a sensation of individual linkage to a specific being, rather than an abstract one.
In a different way, this means we all still are too bound by our individual egos, want to give to a specific person because then we also feel we matter…
Anyway, this post is a wonderful reminder for all of us to share our best heart!
Thank you also for replying my post some days ago, I replied to you there, but do not know if you automatically have access to that my answer, so I hope you do not mind that I also copy it here:
"Dear Mallika,
I have been busy travelling for my work, and therefore only now saw that you had replied! It was a wonderful surprise!
Dear Mallika, you are such a beautiful Human Being, always so gentle, worried about everybody that you can help and being an excellent Mother too! Congratulations!
This site, so closely related to your Family, is a great idea to get many people online sharing great INTENTIONS FOR GOOD.
Bless you,
Maria"
All the best and keep up the good work,
Maria Carmo
Mallika,
This is a truly insightful article. I have seen, first hand, examples of people both helping and standing as spectators. Human nature, although intimate to us all and observed throughout the ages, still seems to be less than well understood.
Hi Mallika,
Thank you for your thoughtful post. I must be wired differently since my empathy is more inclined to wrap around environmental issues. I relate to rivers, trees, agricultural land, open space, wilderness habitat, etc. Earth is being choked and I feel it in a personal way.
One can feel overwhelmed with all the critical issues that pull at our hearts, our time and our monetary resources. One can feel helpless and disempowered. However, as we listen to inner calling and act from this passion then perhaps all the issues that need support will be covered.
Here in my valley I care about the tree next door…and the trees half way around the world. I care about our valley which is losing the fight to keep our agricultural land intact. Developers have the slick talk, power point presentations and the funds….as us "simple" people stand by in distress.
In this distress I turn within to find comfort in spiritual reality. I keep looking for signs of light breaking through the darkness of human consciousness. This I know: dark human patterns are not sustainable…my beloved brown/green Earth will survive.
Trish
Thank you Mallika, this was very interesting. We are building an ANH exchange platform and what you write here might change a few important things about how we see it.
thanks a lot!
love, aurora
Life is precious.
What a awesome 6 hour, thankyou to Dave and all the crew at Roudtuit Caravan park for all the work that went to running this event, well worth marking in the dairy for next yearZayıflama Lida Fx15 ve Biber Hapı zlfvbh burmeh yaza lida fx15 biber hapı ile formda girin burmeh yaza lida fx15 biber hapı ile formda girin Trakya Üniversitesi tabiii en önemliside bize baya bi para getirecek. his family and particularly the children he had artificially created will be happier and far better off without him, not to mention wealthier. Remember and play his music if you want..it was pretty good but don't for get what an absolute failure as man he was. He dies a whiny drug addicted loser.. Save your sorrow for someone worthy