How to Avoid Hurt Feelings

Has anyone ever said this to you: “Don’t be so sensitive. I was only kidding.” If so, did it change the way you felt? Chances are it didn’t because you had already taken the matter to heart,and it had already hurt your feelings.  

Needless to say, not every hurt feeling can be avoided, but some can, especially the unnecessary ones. How? By looking for the love; i.e., the good intention, behind the act.
 
Remember: if it’s not an act of love, it’s just a minor distraction not worthy of being taken to heart. When you choose the matters you take to heart based on their good intentions, you’ll find that your feelings get hurt a lot less often.
 
Here’s an easy way, therefore, to avoid prolonged hurt feelings. The next time someone does or says something that initially hurts your feelings, ask yourself this question: “Where is the love in what this person did or said?” If you can’t find it, you know it’s not a matter worth taking to heart. Let it go.
 
Lovingly,
Cynthia
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About Cynthia Legette Davis

My heart's desire is for us to each experience more peace, balance and joy in our lives and among each other on an ongoing basis. I try to do work that contributes to that in one way or another. Toward that intent, I have written and published two books and a workbook. They are "Peace Be Still: Inner Healing for Racial Harmony;" it's companion workbook, "Peace and Racial Harmony Inside Out," and "I Know How You Feel." All are available at www.peaceinus.net. My newest book, "Peace Tips for Life," is due out in October 2011. I also provide workshops, seminars and keynotes related to life balance and personal peace. I am president and founder of Legette Communications and publish LeisureFun.net, a comprehensive online guide to local community events in South Carolina. My philosophy is: "When people come together positively, great things happen." LeisureFun.net makes it easy for people to find more ways to "come together positively" by providing extensive listings of hundreds of local community events in one place.

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5 Responses to How to Avoid Hurt Feelings

  1. LindaC March 22, 2009 at 8:22 pm #

    This is so simple, and yet so true. Thanks for posting it!

  2. lorihope March 23, 2009 at 9:03 am #

    Beautiful, Cynthia. Thank you.

    Also, it can help to imagine the offender as a very young child, speaking out of an immature need, or resulting from an injury.

    Sadly, it can be so difficult to consider a slight as a minor distraction when it comes from one you love dearly, such as a sibling or dear friend. But you are right; we can choose how to react.

    With love and always hope,

    Lori

    p.s. My late aunt Dottie used to sign her greeting cards "Lovingly" – so I thank you for that hint of her in your message.

    Lori Hope
    http://www.LoriHope.com

  3. Cynthia Legette Davi April 17, 2009 at 10:28 am #

    Lori, your comment made me smile, especially your "P.S." Thanks for sharing that.

    Lovingly,

    Cynthia

  4. mydomainpvt April 17, 2009 at 10:30 am #

    Dear cynthia,

    so simple yet so fantastic, thanks for this silver lining, :)

    Wish you love, peace and happiness.

    Trisha

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