The Mindful Mom Series with Mallika Chopra
UPDATE: 5/9/12 2pm President Obama clearly stated today the he supports gay marriage. Good leadership (finally!) and needed to be done.
The fact that North Carolina’s passed a constitutional amendment — by a large margin (looks like 61% to 39%) — to ban same sex marriage yesterday is shameful. That the United States — the land of freedom and equality — can justify that certain people don’t deserve to be treated equally is unconscionable and disheartening.
And that President Obama has to posture his stance on gay marriage for political reasons makes me fuming mad and disappointed in his leadership.
As I read the news this evening, I’ve been thinking about how to talk to my daughters about the vote in North Carolina. (And, believe me, I feel strongly that at 10 and 7, it’s important to talk to them about it.)
My daughters live in a world where there is freedom to love. They were ring bearers at my two dearest friends wedding — two women who have been through emotional, spiritual and legal loopholes to be together. My children consider their children (another legal process for my friends) their younger cousins — brother and sister as per our family dynamic.
How do I tell my kids that our extended, healthy, loving family is not ok by someone else’s standard? I go back to my daughters feelings several weeks ago (see my 9/11 blog) when she realized that at one time in history she would not have been allowed to attend her current school, that she would have been excluded because of the color of her skin.
How is her 7-year-old mind supposed to grasp that it’s still ok to be excluded at times? Like when you love someone.
We live in a world where religion is used to mask fear.
Tami Fitzgerald, the head of Vote for Marriage NC, said she had been confident that “the people of North Carolina would rise up and vote to keep the opposition from redefining traditional marriage.
“We are not anti-gay, we are pro-marriage,” she said. “And the point — the whole point — is simply that you don’t rewrite the nature of God’s design for marriage based on the demands of a group of adults.”
Like institutionalized racism, sexism, and apartheid, we will one day look back and be appalled that we treated our own people with such disgrace. God’s design will be honored for cherishing the values of love, integrity and treating others like we wish to be treated.
Until such time, as a parent, my intent is to guide my daughters by my own example — articulating and being honest about my disappointment and channeling my frustration into action for change. How else can I nurture a strength in them to stand up to injustice?
How will you talk to your kids about North Carolina’s election results yesterday? Would love your thoughts…