Just as words can blindside you and trigger an avalanche of anguish when you have cancer, the anniversary of the world-changing events of September 11 may bring up buried or forgotten feelings that are stronger than you may have remembered. Sense memories – seeing the jets, watching the towers fall, witnessing the gray bodies running madly for cover – may revive the trauma, terror, and loss of innocence of that day.
How to deal with the emotions? Give yourself permission to experience whatever you feel, but know that you can take care of yourself in some of the following ways:
• As when you have cancer, surround yourself with your most loving friends, those who will treat you with tenderness (unless you’re someone who prefers to be joked with or watch sports);
• If you don’t want to or think you can handle hearing the stories of devastation, which most of us have been hearing and feeling and thinking about all week, turn off the TV. You can go to church or temple and pray, or send loving thoughts to survivors, or commemorate the day any way you want; you needn’t show your respect by exposing yourself to more media images.
• Get out in nature; take a walk in a forest, on a beach, or through a park. Notice the squirrels; listen to the birds. Be in the moment. Meditate.
• Give your friend a back rub and ask her to give you one in return.
• Walk or play with your dog or your child or your niece or nephew. Let love flow unimpeded.
What are you doing on September 11? And if you have thoughts about how to assuage the grief and comfort yourself or others, please share them here. I’m not asking for political commentary; we are all of one heart.
With love and always hope,
Lori
www.LoriHope.com
Author of Help Me Live, Revised: 20 things people with cancer want you to know
PHOTO (cc): Flickr / DVIDSHUB
I'm disgusted at how the media used the anniversary of 9/11 to sell ads. That's what all their little specials were about! Making money! We're playing right into what the 'terrorists' wanted… To focus on this as the event that changed America forever. How about we rise above this and try to forget it! That's what I did with my baby's daddy!
I purposely avoid the media around the time of the anniversary each year. If we want healing and closure, reliving the events of that day will only do just the opposite. On this 9/11, I spent some time in quiet prayer and reflection, then I went for a long run at the beach. You can honor the memory better by doing something life affirming in the present than by reliving the tragedy of the past.