I am a phoenix…

This sadness never leaves; this abyss has engulfed me,

I cannot seem to breathe

For all its worth, death I beckon you, please it’s not as easy as it seems.

Staring at the picture with all its unfolding mystery, I seem to have realized,

The problem is in me, the problem is within me, and I smile and sadly recognize that the problem is me.

As long as I live, I won’t give myself a space to just be, breathe and let down my inhibitions

These undetected, unwanted and unwarranted emotions are simply so confounding  

I was under the impression that I am gone beyond any hope, there is no second a chance for me-an unfortunate disbelief  that I cannot seem to fit has settled inside my depraved heart

I am a fallen lifeless petal, my heart a sickening disease,

My soul –a disquieting storm before the impending crash of those untangled metal poles

What can I say I am my own worst enemy and it seems this has simply taken its toll on me!

After all the tearful heartbreaks, the mournful self pity, the void look reflecting back at my face

The dejected stories I created inside my heart, the gloomy dark space in my head-the never ending despair in the every word I have spoken

I seem to realize that I in fact am a phoenix, my own tears are a catalyst; a healing agent to the self inflicted wounds

So, I am all but ready for the change- since I am the only invincible, invisible power that needs to act as a soothing balm to my miseries.

So, after all, I do seem to have come to a conclusion

Now I believe in second chances and most importantly in the miracle that is known as self healing.