Yesterday, as I was running out of my dorm room to class, I heard a voice behind me screaming out, "I see you Cassie!" I took a second to turn around just as the glass door shut and I saw one of my residents in my dorm smiling at me and waving. I smiled back at him and waved, subconsciously at the time, and then quickly turned to go to class.
The particular resident that yelled out my name was one in which the university suggested we keep an eye on. He had suffered a particularly difficult childhood, and could be considered one of the loners in the dorm. Fortunately, it seemed that regardless of whether he had a core group of friends in the dorm, he was social enough that he would join us in lively conversation at meal times and make sure to come to most dorm programs. I also felt that he and I had a very good relationship where he was comfortable enough to poke fun at me, and I could joke back. I enjoyed his company, and while the university’s concern is one that we must always keep in mind as a dorm staff, I can tell that he is growing into a find young man ready to take advantage of what college had to offer him.
Later on in the day, I was hanging out with another resident in the lounge when the same young man who called out my name earlier passed by. He stopped, turned to me and with a great big smile of his own, exclaimed,
"Cassie, I love your smile!"
Instead of thanking him immediately, I was taken aback. He said it with such freedom and genuine intent that I found myself doubting him. I quickly thanked him and after a few exchanged words, he went back to him room.
Even thinking about it now, those two interactions with my resident amazes me. I am amazed at myself at my inability to accept his compliment. There was a moment when I actually thought, ‘Is he making fun of me?’ But he wasn’t at all, and his comment was from his heart – and I doubted it. And I am also amazed at what he made me realize.
Human relationships seem incredibly difficult, when it truth, it shouldn’t be at all. Relating to each other is what we do. And yet many times we deprive ourselves of a relationship because of Ego. I, myself, am currently taking part in a silly little experiment of mine own, involving a person that I love (which I will perhaps elaborate on in a future blog post), which contradicts everything that I am trying to implement and work on in my life. My resident’s comment about my smile has brought me back to reassess what I’m doing and also brings infinite smiles to my face.
Can you genuinely turn to a friend and exclaim, "I love your smile!"? I hope you can, and I hope I can too.
I enjoyed this post as it brought up some real issues about judgement, acceptance and our own egos. I too sometimes doubt compliments, especially from those I am closest too.
Great post, this one made me think. Thanks for writing it!!
Cassaundra,
Compliments that simply and joyously given are always authentic and should always be received graciously, if milady will forgive my Medieval-inspired spirit and my boldness. In my opinion, the appropriate response to that would be to bow, and say: Thank you, friend. What a joyous and beautiful gesture. He recognized at some level the Divinity in you and extended his. Fear not to accept compliments. My guides compliment me frequently–and I always say thank you. Please do this in the future, lassie. You deserve it. Ye dinnae need to push that away from ye. Ye're rejecting the Divine when ye do that. Please listen, and dinnae be so hard on yourself. You are Love. Know this and be it. Love, Brigit