The Illusion of “Another One Under My Belt” Thinking

 Humans are imbued with a competitive spirit. And as a result, we like to count our victories. There are an infinite number of possibilities in human experience. And when the possibility of death looms over us, the sudden fear that we might not have done everything we might have creates immense distress. This "range" or "number" idea rarely has the effect it is supposed to have. Every kind of sex, every kind of position, every kind of lover, every kind of drug-almost never leads to a feeling of satisfaction. If anything, in my experience, the most positive response I’ve had from people who pursue this kind of life is "been there, done that" suggesting that the experience is really not worth repeating, and in fact, does little to assuage the fear of dying. I am writing this to remind us that when we are victims of "another one under my belt" thinking, we may be missing out on more important dimensions of life and a growth process that will be too late to start after that 100th pseudo-victory. I call this "pseudo-victory collection" psychological hoarding and contend that it arises from an anxiety about "meaning" and mortality.

 

Who are the usual victims of psychological hoarding?

 

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About srinivasan.pillay

Dr. Srini Pillay is the author of "Life Unlocked: 7 Revolutionary Lessons To Overcome Fear. (http://www.amazon.com/Life-Unlocked-Revolutionary-Lessons-Overcome/dp/1605298522)" He is also an internationally recognized executive coach, public speaker, psychiatrist, and brain imaging researcher who is focused on the fields of personal and organizational transformation.  His aim is to help people and corporations achieve their dreams by drawing on his expertise that addresses the intersections of coaching, biology, psychology and spirituality. 

As a “Certified Master Coach”, Srini was on the faculty of the “Behavioral Coaching Institute” where he taught business executives internationally from a variety of different companies, including Fortune 500 companies, the art of coaching, with a special emphasis on using neuroscience to enhance communication, decision-making, and transformation.  

As a “psychiatrist”, Srini trained at Mclean Hospital, Harvard’s largest psychiatric training hospital.  He graduated with the award for the most scholarly work during his residency.  He was also one of the top three award winners nationally.  After graduating, Srini became the “Director of the Mclean Hospital Outpatient Anxiety Disorders Program”, where he gained national and international recognition for his expertise in stress and anxiety.  He is currently an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and has a clinical practice in Cambridge, MA. 

As a “public speaker”, his knowledge of burnout, layoffs, anxiety and stress has been sought out by the media.  He has made numerous television appearances and he has been quoted in the Boston Globe, Newsweek magazine and Men’s Health magazine on stress and anxiety. ABC.com has featured him as an international expert on their new health internet site.  He is a regular columnist for the living section of the Huffington Post.  

Srini has also been a “brain-imaging researcher” for the past fifteen years.  He has had numerous publications and has been nationally funded.   He continues this work as a consultant to the University of Utah with his former mentors from Harvard. 

Currently, Srini is starting a company called “NeuroBusiness group” that is focused on providing information, assessment tools and software, coaching and consultation services that draws on research grounded in psychology, coaching and the neurosciences to promote personal and organizational transformation.  He is finishing a self-help book based on scientific research to assist people in overcoming fear.  The book is scheduled for release late in 2009 or early 2010. 

In addition to recently writing four original screenplays, Srini is currently completing the making of a documentary movie and composing the music for it.  His passion is in integrating the science and art of life and bringing a realistic, hopeful and transformational message to the people he encounters.  His deepest belief is in the power of love for transformation. 

Contact information: boundariless@mac.com

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