Who would you call your best friend?
Who are your go-to’s when you have something tough to discuss? Since we’re no longer in grade school and since no one remembers what speed dial is anymore, perhaps it’s been a minute since you’ve had to consider who your trusted council would be.
Whether you’re 8 or 38, there is something cathartic about getting your tough questions off your chest and when you have wise sounding boards, you’re all the more likely to feel prepared to tackle them. So who are your people? Could you write down three names on a sheet of paper?
Our intent is to seek wise guidance, to find the people we trust to advise us and to be the kind of people who are willing to open up and give in the same way.
Sound scary? We have three things to help:
- This quote from Brené Brown about the importance of a short list and deciding who is on it.
“I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter. To be on that list, you have to love me for my strengths and struggles. You have to know that I’m trying to be Wholehearted, but I still cuss too much, flip people off under the steering wheel, and have both Lawrence Welk and Metallica on my iPod.”
We cannot recommend a short list enough. When the world feels like it’s crushing you with it’s opinions, it helps to have your short list of people who matter. These are people who know you, know how to challenge you and also understand the challenges you’re already facing. They’re here to push you and hold you up. And, when everything feels very noisy, you get to tell all the other voices coming at you that they can’t matter right now if they’re not on the list. Want more good wisdom from Brené? We get it. Check them out here.
- These 10 ways to to unlock a little openness with the people who matter most.
Perhaps you have your go-to people but what you’re honestly missing is knowing how and what to connect on. There are no rules or guidelines for how connection happens, so make room to figure out what works for you in your relationships. You don’t have to dive right into the depths from the get-go. You can figure out how to best address the real stuff, taking as much time as needed. And if you need help figuring out how to get going, here are 10 kickstarters!
- This wonderful reminder from Dr. Guy Winch about addressing our emotional needs just as regularly as physical issues or pains.
We would never tell someone with a broken leg that the pain is all in their mind (or leg), but we are always ready to dismiss the struggles of our mind. Loneliness can actually damage your health and can be easy to miss when we’re surrounded by people, but if you’re not connecting to those people, we might be missing out on the life-giving wealth of opening up and receiving wisdom.