Lately, I have been thinking that conversations work like doors. Sometimes conversations are "open" and through them we can see new possibilities. Other times you can feel a discussion closing down, locking out new information or diverse viewpoints.
Powerful questions have a great habit of re-opening constricted conversations. This week I ran across a short video from Thailand that asks two intriguing questions:
- What you are responsible for?
- What is your commitment?
Asking myself these questions has a centering effect when in stressful situations. They open my internal doorways. The two questions help me clarify what I can control and my appropriate next steps; I pause (a good thing in conflict) as I consider, "OK, what really am I responsible for in this situation?" and "What are my highest commitments?" And, as seen in the video, asking others can transform someone you believe you know well into a fascinating stranger.
I invite you to give them a try and welcome your insights!
From "Playing Well at Work and Beyond" by Deidre Combs
About deidrecombs
Deidre Combs is the author of two books, The Way of Conflict and Worst Enemy, Best Teacher. Through her consulting firm Combs and Company Deidre provides communication and conflict skills, coaching, strategic planning and team building services. She has worked with a variety of corporate, non-profit and government clients including Landmine Survivors Network, US Forest Service, Aveda Corporation, Allina Hospitals and Clinics and Young Presidents Organization.
Deidre was previously employed nine years by IBM in project management and marketing leadership roles specializing in healthcare solutions. She holds a BA in Mathematics and Spanish from the University of Wisconsin — Madison, a master’s degree in Information Systems Technology from George Washington University, and a doctorate focused on world religions from UCS/Naropa University. Combs serves as faculty at Montana State University, Naropa University, Prescott College and Wisdom University.
Listen to
Deidre's interview with Portland-based radio show host, Paul O'Brien for an overview of the Way of Conflict philosophy.
It's great how questions can be such a powerful tool. We ask ourselves questions and have them work in the same way. We can create open and closed doors in ourselves too.
Nice blog, Deidre!