Is Chemistry Everything When It Comes To Soulmates?

Dear Arielle & Brian,

I am 46 years old and am unmarried. Last summer, I connected with someone online and we both felt we were soulmates, brought together by divine intervention. Two months later he decided to fly 5,000 miles to come meet me, with an understanding that the meeting was just to see each other at least once and get comfortable.

Upon our meeting, the guy felt there was no chemistry. Because we had so much in common, I was willing to give it a try, but he wasn’t, although he did want to keep in touch and remain friends, which I said no to.

Arielle and Brian, why does this happen? Is it right to give up so much in common for chemistry? Was this guy not really my soulmate? I am confused.

Thank you so much.

Suzie  

Dear Suzie,

Committing to and sharing your life with a soulmate is a desire worth committing time and energy to. We want to strongly encourage you to not give up just because this one didn’t work out.

While it may seem like having many things “in common” with someone sounds like the formula for a fantastic relationship, its just part of the equation.  We aren’t meant to spend our lives with someone who is simply the opposite sex version of ourselves.  Differences and diversity add spice and magic to a long-term relationship.

All great relationships need a combination of chemistry, compatibility, connection, communication and a shared vision for the future.

We understand your disappointment that this didn’t work out but please know that

while you felt a possible “soulmate connection,” without chemistry you would have been cheating yourself of experiencing the breadth and depth of Big Love.

Wishing you love, laugher and magical kisses,

Arielle & Brian

 Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret:  Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction and her husband Brian Hilliard, a business consultant, answer your questions about life, love and relationships. They believe that whether you are eighteen or eighty years old finding Big Love is always possible. Email your questions to: soulmatesecret@yahoo.com

Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is the author of the international bestselling book, THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her husband and soulmate Brian Hilliard is a business consultant with a life-long interest in spirituality and the practice of compassion.  They live in La Jolla, CA  www.soulmatesecret.com  and www.wabisabilove.com 

Disclaimer: Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.

PHOTO (cc): Flickr / half alive – soo zzzz

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About Arielle Ford

Arielle believes that finding true love is possible for anyone, at any age, and she points to herself as living proof.  Married for the first time at age 44, she expanded on the set of skills that she used to launch her highly successful Public Relations firm, The Ford Group, and applied them to her love life.  She is best known for helping to launch the careers of many bestselling self-help and spiritual authors including Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Neale Donald Walsch and many others. She is the author of seven books including the Hot Chocolate For The Mystical Soul series. Her next book will be, The Soulmate Secret: How To Manifest The Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction (January 2009, Harper One) Arielle lives in La Jolla, CA with her husband, Brian Hilliard and their feline friends.  www.soulmatesecret.com  

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