Being stuck in the past is more than just a saying; it can actually influence how your present and future unfolds. When you are unable to break away from the negative aspects of your past you will find they simply repeat over and over again. This will ultimately restrict your ability to make the changes you need to be successful in changing your negative behaviors and replacing them with the positive, productive, sober behaviors you want to use today and tomorrow.
Changing your behavior from your past includes understanding why that behavior was used in the past as a way to cope or handle a challenging situation. There are many different examples of understanding your past triggers and behaviors and how they served a purpose then but why they are not effective in moving forward. For example, I discuss how a glass of wine may be the way that a person deals with anxiety of being at a party around strangers. That one glass of wine then leads to two, three or more, resulting in an alcohol addiction problem over time.
Learning how to deal with anxiety provoking situations would, for the person described above, be critical to changing her current and future behavior. Finding a better option than a glass of wine allows her to relax and enjoy the social situation is much more effective than just telling yourself that you will only have one glass and then stop. You can, with structure and conscious effort, create a way that works for you to cope with the feelings of anxiety that come from social events.
Just thinking good thoughts about a social event won’t solve the problem, you have to work on a plan as well. A simple plan for this issue could include:
- Visualization – see yourself at the social event in a positive, sober light. This means playing a movie in your head where you are star, enjoying the conversation, meeting new people and being relaxed without the need for alcohol.
- Desensitization – get involved in different types of social situations that start small and build in size and importance.
- Support Network – work with a counselor, life coach or addiction specialist that can help you understand your past while focusing on your future success.
Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your free E books at sherrygaba.com. Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on “A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba” on CBS Radio. Struggling with your own love junkie dramas? You’re not alone. Join my free newsletter community to get the support you need to stop the madness before it affects your next relationship or the one you are in now. – Get the Love You Truly Deserve!