Is The Past Dictating Your Future?


Being stuck in the past is more than just a saying; it can actually influence how your present and future unfolds. When you are unable to break away from the negative aspects of your past you will find they simply repeat over and over again. This will ultimately restrict your ability to make the changes you need to be successful in changing your negative behaviors and replacing them with the positive, productive, sober behaviors you want to use today and tomorrow.

Changing your behavior from your past includes understanding why that behavior was used in the past as a way to cope or handle a challenging situation. There are many different examples of understanding your past triggers and behaviors and how they served a purpose then but why they are not effective in moving forward. For example, I discuss how a glass of wine may be the way that a person deals with anxiety of being at a party around strangers. That one glass of wine then leads to two, three or more, resulting in an alcohol addiction problem over time.

Learning how to deal with anxiety provoking situations would, for the person described above, be critical to changing her current and future behavior. Finding a better option than a glass of wine allows her to relax and enjoy the social situation is much more effective than just telling yourself that you will only have one glass and then stop. You can, with structure and conscious effort, create a way that works for you to cope with the feelings of anxiety that come from social events.

Just thinking good thoughts about a social event won’t solve the problem, you have to work on a plan as well. A simple plan for this issue could include:

  1.  Visualization – see yourself at the social event in a positive, sober light. This means playing a movie in your head where you are star, enjoying the conversation, meeting new people and being relaxed without the need for alcohol.
  2. Desensitization – get involved in different types of social situations that start small and build in size and importance.
  3.  Support Network – work with a counselor, life coach or addiction specialist that can help you      understand your past while focusing on your future success.


Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured  Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the law of attraction to  recover from any addiction. Please download your free E books at   Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking  engagements. Listen to Sherry on “A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba” on CBS Radio.  Struggling with your own love junkie dramas? You’re not alone. Join my free newsletter community to get the support you need to  stop the madness before it affects your next relationship or the one you are in  now. – Get the Love You Truly Deserve!

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About Sherry Gaba

Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and life coach who has helped hundreds of people cope with lifelong addictions, including substance abuse, shopping, gambling, food, sex and love, co-dependency, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, single parenting and divorce. Sherry appeared on Celebrity Rehab 3, 4, and 5.   She also facilitated life coaching on their subsequent spin off Sober House and Celebrity Rehab’s Sex Addiction. During filming of the series, Sherry used her trademark sensitivity and compassion to help troubled cast members as they transitioned into their new sober lives with psychotherapy and life coaching tips.  Sherry most recently appeared on CNN Headline News as a guest expert, as well as Inside Edition, where she spoke about Mackenzie Phillip’s who was on Celebrity Rehab 3.  In addition, she appeared on KTLA Channel 5 as an expert on eating disorders and Fox San Diego News, Better TV, WPIX New York, CNN Prime News, Issues with Jane Velez Mitchell on HLN, Showbiz Tonight, and E!News discussing Celebrity Rehab and Teen Mom on MTV.  Sherry’s book, “The Law of Sobriety” from HCI Publications is about recovery from addictions and alcoholism and was published in September 2010.  Sherry has also been published in Cosmopolitan Magazine, Women’s World, Los Angeles Times Blog, New York Post, The Huffington Post, Hollywood Life, Elle On-line, E! On-line, and the New York Daily News.  She has also been a guest with Martha Stewart, Jay Thomas, and Judith Regan on Sirius XM Radio.  Sherry also blogs on, Counselor Magazine, and Renew Magazine.  In addition she just joined CBS Sky Radio and hosts “A Moment of Change,” a show on self discovery and positive transformation.