Question:
I was raised in a home where verbal assault, and sometimes physical assault, was regular. Although I am now over 50, I unfortunately retain an aggressive nature. I raised my first three children with impatience and an overly-firm hand. I now have a late-life child and for her sake, as well as my own, I don’t want to continue the destructive cycle of impatience and hyper-aggressiveness. I believe that after all this time of living in high-stress, it has become part of my physical and spiritual being — an addiction. How, through food, meditation and balancing, can I reverse the damage to myself and avoid damaging my precious baby? I want to live a peaceful, joyful, energetic, and "living in the moment" life. How?
Answer:
The biggest factor is your conscious intention now to be a more gentle and compassionate mom. Given that you have awareness of your old childrearing habits and shortcomings that is the first step in freeing yourself of the past and creating a new experience.
Meditation will certainly aid in this transformation, but to help implement your new mothering intentions, you need to create an environment and support system that will reinforce your behavior and make it easy to establish new habits.
Love,
Deepak
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i would also suggest you learn to practice compassion. it's easy. remember how you felt when you were a child and were faced with unjust treatment. then when you feel yourself about to do the same to your child, remind yourself of that feeling and resolve not to make your child experience that which made you feel bad.
You have been blessed with a second chance. God is good and he forgives you – hopefully you have fogiven yourself too. Fill your life with positive intentions, positive people, positive actions, and a positive mindset. I too have raised three children in a similar fashion as you, but I have come a long way, and so can you. God bless you! XO
I certainly think this is your second chance to get things right with your new daughter, I think you have been blessed. You may have made mistakes in the past but you are prepared to address and change your behaviour. That takes courage. I wish you well.
In the past, in the present and in the future you have and will do the best that you can. Was it "perfect" in the past? NO
Is it "perfect" today? NO
Will you be "perfect" in the future? NO
But in any case, you are a worthy person.