So often times in death we are caught off guard. The sudden tragic accident that takes a young life, an illness that overcomes a loved one way too soon, the inexplicable feeling of waking up one day to find someone you care about simply isn’t there anymore. These can lead to feelings of regret and remorse. Things you should have said, what you could have done, time you should have spent telling them how much they mean to you.
But how do you cope with the death of someone with whom you’ve had ample time to fill each others lives with memories and love…and did? I recently lost my great grandfather; just weeks shy of his 104th birthday. Affectionately known to all simply as Grandpa K, he was the man everyone loved. There was no shortage of hugs and kisses in my family. No opportunity missed to say I love you. We had decades of family gatherings, Easter egg hunts in his back yard and hours gathered around his TV as he watched his beloved "wrastlin"…that’s wrestling to you and me! Yes, he had a lifetime of love and happiness.
So why is it, you may ask, that one may still have to find ways to "cope" with the loss of someone who obviously lead a long, full life? Simply put, every life, no matter how long or short, leaves an indelible impression on our heart and soul. I never fully realized this until I received the call that Grandpa K had been sitting in the car with his son, talking about the traffic, when he laid his chin to his chest and quietly passed from this world. I immediately began a flood of tear that really took me aback. Knowing he was about to turn 104…this was a call I had been preparing myself to receive for years. Knowing he was living a full and independent life (he lived alone and cared for himself daily right up until the end) I told myself how lucky we were to have had him this long. Yet, when the call came, I was not prepared.
Many people gave the same obligatory response. "Well sweetie…what did you expect? He was 104 years old." Of course the rational me already knew that. The great granddaughter in me wasn’t so sure. I still had the same feelings of loss, the same sad feeling of knowing he was no longer earth bound, the same feeling of regret that I didn’t get to see him just ONE more time.
Looking back at the incredible life he had; the children, grand children, too many to count great grandchildren and even a handful of great, great grandchildren shows me that he indeed lived like a king under god’s graces. He was rich in love and in respect. He was a man of faith and God blessed him with legions of Killingsworth’s to carry on his lifelong message of "treating people the way you would want to be treated". In coping with any death, the best we can do is to remember the warmth and love they brought to our lives and treasure the memories that will keep them alive for future generations to know. The length of their stay here on earth does not diminish the value they have in our hearts. Be it for 1 minute or 104 years…each life deserves its time to be mourned and each survivor deserves their time to heal. From there we can both move forward and truly celebrate the beauty that is life.
God bless you Grandpa K…you will be missed but not forgotten!
About angie.provost
I grew up in the small Northern California town of Weed, on the North side of California's largest active volcano...Mount Shasta. I was raised by a wonderful single mother whom at an early age taught me the importance of caring for our bodies with natural and organic foods and products, the benefits of holisitic health, and the responsibility we have as humans to care for our Mother Earth. It was a joy to grow up in this area of unparalleled natural beauty and immediate access to all of the splendors of the Shasta Cascade National forest. I've carried my love of nature and our earth with me throughout my life and owe this to my mother and to my hometown of which I'm immensely proud.
Life has landed me in Roseville, California...now married to my wonderful husband Frank and our two beautiful children Joshua and Samantha and dogs Harley and Roxy. Though I live in the suburbs now I still carry my love for the mountains and nature in my heart and find myself most happy when I journey back up north for a visit with my family. I am blessed to be extremely close to my mother, my stepfather, my sister and my three lifelong best friends of nearly 30 years. I cherish them all and derive great comfort and support from their love. My biggest supporter is my husband, whom champions my love of writing and urges me at all junctions to pursue this creative outlet. He believes in me and enables me to believe in myself. With this love and support I began writing a weekly column for megsmakeup.com entitled "Green Chi Tuesdays". I try and review natural and organic beauty products and report back my honest opinions. It has been a weekly source of delight for me and I thoroughly enjoy sharing the knowledge I've gained with others. I will continue to write in any venue available and hope to change my life on a base level by living my dream to write as a career.
I am very proud to have this column featured here on Intent.com. As I meander through the website I find myself submerged in a pool of like minded and wonderful people. I truly see this opportunity as a growth mechanism for me both spiritually and creatively and look forward to living my intent. To me, there is no greater gift I can give my children than the knowledge that we can always strive to be a better person today than we were yesterday. I look forward to the journey
Comments are closed.