When you think of touch, you might think of touching with your hands, but one of the best ways to improve the quality of touch is by using the body itself.
Try this – embrace your partner in a hug. Continue to hug for a bit longer than you might normally. Allow yourselves to really feel each other’s actual, physical presence. Notice what part of your body is touching theirs. Take turns telling each other what you notice. Each time one of you comments, both of you take a moment to place your own awareness in that specific area of your body and really feel the shared connection.
Your conversation might go something like this: "I feel my left thigh touching yours." Pause. "I notice as I breathe that my chest expands against yours." Pause. "I feel your hand on my back." Pause. "I notice my cheek against your shoulder." Pause. "Our hips are touching." And so forth.
(Warning, possible side-effect: This activity might lead to more touching and less talking. Enjoy!)
Once you become familiar with the ability to be in real moment-to-moment presence with each other, to feel your bodies touching, you can transfer that feeling to your hands and become an amazing lover. The next time you touch your partner with your hand, take time to really feel the connection, skin to skin, flesh to flesh.
For more inspiration about touching, you might like to read my poem, The Lover’s Touch.
Diana Daffner
Author, Tantric Sex for Busy Couples: How to Deepen Your Passion in Just Ten Minutes a Day
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