Last week, we opened another Pandora’s happiness box, this time addressing the research gathered by Marcus Buckingham that shows the declining state of happiness amongst women.
Many of you responded, some with complaints about men, some with complaints about societal values, some with people to blame, and some suggesting that men may not be doing all that well either.
Indeed, I don’t find men or women to be overwhelmed with satisfaction, fulfillment or general happiness. No surprise there, really. To me, the root cause of dissatisfaction and unhappiness often lies in the areas of focus we choose for ourselves.
And, just to be clear, I’m writing primarily about those who have the means and education to actually read this on line, using a computer. After all, this article is only available to those with computer access.
Last week, I ended by saying that this week I would address the first of several major keys to increased happiness and sense of well being, that of "living in the present." However, I beg your indulgence as I put this one off for a week, in order to take on some of the questions which arose via the comment and email stream.
Victimhood and blame: who chose to lead life as you have?
I suggested that many of us may be experiencing unhappiness due to a set of choices we made, and possibly continue to make, in our areas of focus. It can often be summed up as "if only I could" thinking: If only I could characterizes the mindset of those who think they would be happier if only (have enough money, have the right job, have the right house, have the right relationship, etc) something or someone else were different.
That kind of thinking is understandable given any number of societal norms, pressures to pursue, and even family or political values.
The if only mindset perpetuates the notion that in some ways, we are victims of our circumstances. However, while many are wont to blame a husband/wife, boss, co-worker, banker, bank account or political party for their perceived lack of success or fulfillment in life, few are equally likely to blame a husband/wife, boss, co-worker, banker, bank account or political party if things happen to be going well. Apparently, there are very few "success victims."
Here are two examples of two very different approaches to the question of who’s responsible for your state of well being.
Comments are closed.