Question:
What to do with worry as a Mother? It pains me to see how my son is fraught with always "having to be right". I have listened to your words on surrendering being right – and I feel I somehow have failed because he is so caught up with his own opinion and being the only one who is right….and I worry about he will relate to others. Other than giving him your book – how can I think about my own role and cease the Mother Worry?
Answer:
Much of a mother’s worry seems to come with the territory. A mother’s love and attention is geared toward nurturing and guiding, and when she sees her child struggle she often feels it is her failure.
Know that you haven’t failed. You son must find his own way at various junctures in life, and this is one of them. It is important for him to take an independent stand and follow the consequences so he can learn what it is to be an adult. Just love him and trust that his life path will eventually lead him where he needs to be.
Love,
Deepak
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About Deepak Chopra
Time Magazine heralded Deepak Chopra as one of the 100 heroes and icons of the century, and credited him as "the poet-prophet of alternative medicine." Entertainment Weekly described Deepak Chopra as "Hollywood's man of the moment, one of publishing's best-selling and most prolific self-help authors." He is the author of more than 50 books and more than 100 audio, video and CD-Rom titles. He has been published on every continent and in dozens of languages. Fifteen of his books have landed on the New York Times Best-seller list. Toastmaster International recognized him as one of the top five outstanding speakers in the world. Through his over two decades of work since leaving his medical practice, Deepak continues to revolutionize common wisdom about the crucial connection between body, mind, spirit, and healing. His mission of "bridging the technological miracles of the west with the wisdom of the east" remains his thrust and provides the basis for his recognition as one of India's historically greatest ambassadors to the west. Chopra has been a keynote speaker at several academic institutions including Harvard Medical School, Harvard Business School, Harvard Divinity School, Kellogg School of Management, Stanford Business School and Wharton.His latest book is
"Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul."
"Your son must find his own way at various junctures in life, and this is one of them. It is important for him to take an independent stand and follow the consequences so he can learn what it is to be an adult. Just love him and trust that his life path will eventually lead him where he needs to be."
Wonderful piece as usual Deepak. A mother naturally wud be concerned if the son gets so opinionated and is not open to others. I must tell you Deepak, even here I see this phenomenon of people just being absorbed so much in their own thinking/opinions….they seem to have lost the ability to Listen.
Your last line is a beauty. You simply have to accept wherever, whichever way the universe keeps him in the future, when you say "Where he needs to be". Either you see it as a beauty in the design of the Universe or see it as a problem, and actually be worried to have a different desirable result, rather than the opposite. The actual meaning of Surrender and Trusting the Universe is this….where you simply allow and accept whatever result…while keep doing diligently what one is supposed to be. If you look at your reply to her question….you will find exactly that!!
It never is easy especially for a mother's heart when her son goes down the wrong track. It just hurts her heart, howmuchever cerebral explanations you offer her. It is never easy for the ego either to eventually accept things as the Universe dishes out. It takes a great deal of courage or a real connection with God to really surrender and be at peace with the flow of the Universe.
Peace&Love…Sachin
When your son's way of interacting creates pain for him, and it will, he may be open to checking out how to transform "problems" into Heavenly opportunities for growth. Here is a link that will be helpful when your son is ready…
http://intent.com/kristen-thurman/blog/transform-…
XO
A mother's worry may be common (almost universal), but I'm not so sure it's 'natural'. In fact, is there anything truly natural in the modern human being? A baby is bombarded with conditioning practically from birth – through us. Only when we start doing surrender and acceptance here and now will our kids, the mothers and fathers in the next generation, learn how to do that.
Anna, Hannah and Joanna, daughter, mother, grandmother
Same: son, father, grandfather.
When you have that overview you can see what is new
Whatever we do, one thing is true, we are going through phases in our life and it is wonderful that the grandmothers and grandfathers of today are the first ones to be able to enjoy their grandchildren to the fullest and leave the worries to their parents
In my time this was called: paying old debt back
Everyone has their own key to their own lock…it is much better to see them open it themselves..then they have been saved from ignorance…
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