Need Help Processing Privilege

A while back, I came across the same topic of "privilege" in multiple places. Then, I found that all of the source of these conversations had read the same book – "Privilege, Power, and Difference"

I now have a copy of this book and I’ve been trying to read it. The book is written by a middle class white male. He talks about white privilege, male privilege, and finally class privilege.

I’m having a lot of trouble processing this book. I strongly agree that, culturally and institutionally, we have a lot of ground to traverse before we see a balance in racial privilege.

However, being someone who’s been physically beaten for being white, I have some strong opinions about where we’re at and where we need to go… and most of all, where the responsibilities for change lies

As for class, this is a dynamic that’s been part of human culture since… well, for a really long time. I mean, isn’t privilege what "class" is about?

The one that really struck me as hard to take was MALE privilege.

Being introduced to this book came hot on the heels of having conversation with two women about what it means to be a feminist.

While sitting at a table with a psychologist and a yoga instructor, the psychologist suggested that, since I felt women deserved equal rights, I might be a feminist. I responded that, from my point of view, it was about balance… I added that the attitude that bothered me was a woman that preached equality over lunch and then expected me to pay for her meal because she’s a lady.

The Yoga instruction then said, "but women deserve to be treated that way…"

More recently,  I got an email from the girl who loaned me the before mentioned book. She was replying to an email I wrote to her and another friend.

I was attempting to use the same construct that this book used to show what I viewed as "female privilige"…

I sent only two links that I thought illustrated a point on sexuality and some of the pressures men face:

"16 Year Old Boys Branded for Life for Sex with His G/F, but No Sex-Offender Status for Murrieta Teacher Who Had Sex With Student Many Times"

and

"Men and the fear of working with children."

The response I received was a statement that no one said a man’s life is easier, just that "women have it harder than men"…

And there in lies a problem for me. For much of my life, I struggled with the feeling that women had it easier than men – particularly attractive women.

Thus far in my reading, the author has yet to speak of privilege based on physical appearance. I can not see where this is not just as valid as his other topics. But that is a tangent. I simply want to discuss males and females.

As my life experiences have changed, I have become considerably more apathetic to women. It took a long time to come to terms with this. It’s taken a lot of forgiveness to a great many women who have done very hurtful things to myself and people I care about because we were men.

Over the years, in my mind I have come to a restful and peaceful place where I understood the life of a male vrs a female to distinctly unique from the other yet fairly balanced. Yin and Yang…

With the recently onslaught of conversations I’m discussing here, I’ve tried to put my previous notions aside and open my mind to the possibility that women truly face a more challenging world and culture than men. (By the way, we’re talking about the US here… not the globe…)

Yes, I can see many challenges that women face and men do not. Expectations, social stereotypes, and more.

But for every one of these I am presented, I can reflective examples of challenges that men face and women do not.

During my conversations with multiple women on this topic, I never ran out of instance, examples, or cases where men face challenges in life that women do not.

I still feel, instinctually, that by and large, the challenges men face go overlooked. To the extent that I’m considering writing an essay on the topic.

I want to keep an open mind. Please talk to me…

How do you feel? Do you feel that women or men are more privileged than the other? Can you give me any information to see things differently.

This is an image I found a couple of days ago that made me decide to write about this topic here on Intent:

http://ambushuuu.blogspot.com/2008/03/give-us-money-we-are-pretty.html