After twenty five years of doing what I should, of following the path laid out for me by my parents, my teachers, the society, the culture, I stopped. I sat on a couch for almost a year. I did nothing much other than looking for an answer to this question: What do I want? What do I want to do in life?
I was a twenty five year old woman, educated, with a degree I got because I didn’t know what else to do. With a life (now left behind) that I built because I did not know what else to do. And I did not know what I wanted. I did not know what I wanted to do in life.
It shocked me. It shocked me that I would not know. How could I not know?! It was me, it was my life, how could I not know how I want it to look like?!
It took over a year for faint traces of answers to begin to emerge. It took a long time for me to be able to look not to my parents, my teachers, the society and the culture for answers, and begun to look to myself. It took a long time for me to learn that the only valid question by which I judge my choices and decision is not whether they will bring love, peace and happiness to everyone else =- but whether they will bring love, peace and happiness to me.