What does home mean to you? A
place where you go after work, a place where you stay and sleep when you are
not out, a place where you also have some family to be with you when you are
there, a place where you can go and hide from everyone else when needed and
cozily watch TV or do anything of your interest to feel rejuvenated.
Or a place where you feel you
belong. Physical manifestation of that place becomes really unimportant when
you feel you belong. Have you been at that place at a time where mind was not
wandering for something more, when the quest seemed to have ended and submerged
in the state of just being, when being alone was not a burden anymore, when you
felt connected with yourself and everyone and felt enormous love without anyone
actually physically around you.
Many a times I felt alone in a
crowd. Even though I had everything and everyone that one could possibly want
in their lives I was looking for something. There was a void that could never
be put into words or filled.
That search takes us places we
would never have imagined in our wildest dreams and guides us along all those
wrong paths- the long and short routes that we take and take until we are on
the path towards home. Recently, I returned after many years to a place that I
might have known as a kid but never realized it to be there and it to be
different than the home where I used to live with my loving parents. The love
and security they provided which I called home then overshadowed the "home"
that I always belonged to and that I would always belong. This mere merging of
the definitions of love and home led into a series of actions towards finding something
that was never apart but was just forgotten. I am home and it feels great. Have
you been home lately?
I was disappointed. I thought I would make progress. I felt I did so well yesterday. All small well balanced, non fat meals. I exercised and walked a lot. My jeans didn’t feel as tight. Hmmmm, then I remembered I had run out of egg subsitute and the five real eggs I ate for breakfast. Ah. That could explain it.
Well, my goal today is to have at least 4 small, non fat meals (oh, damn, I know I have to have birthday cake with my Mum) well I’ll just have to make up for that some other way.
Also go to the Gym. Upper body workout. And walk a lot. I have two dogs that shouldn’t be a problem
Everything we experience is a blessing in a bigger picture. An experience is just that …an experience. It never really happened to you. That part of you that never changes, but always IS. It happened to the person. Experiences change as we become more and more aware of who we truly are.
Everything you have ever experienced, has brought you to the awareness you have today.
In bliss all else disappears. It is sweet as honey yet so sweet it almost hurts. Tears crawl up your eyes and a feeling of belonging is present, deep down and all round.
What makes this experience so extraordinary is that it is not caused by anything on the outside. I might have bills that need to be paid, or my body might be going through something, but the outer has no impact on the inner. With other words, my experience has nothing to do with what is going on out side of "me", nor does anything outside of cause this experience. It is it’s own nature.
Yes, it is love. Yes, it is peace and yes, it is Joy…all at the same time. When all three feelings (the only three true divine feelings) come together as one, it becomes something new, something else: Bliss. It is no longer Love or Joy or peace but all three together.
Bliss is found within. Within your own being. Being what? You might ask. Being pure being. Just being, without any idea, without any concept …just free to BE.
It sounds complicated, but that is our mind, trying to put into words what is beyond the mind. Can you be still, and not use your mind to experience who you truly are? Can you be still, without having to convert that which you feel into words?