Upon seeing a baby, you can’t help but think, "Oh he looks so much like his dad" or "I see mama all over his cute little face." But the other day I was walking down Montana Avenue with my friend Krey Zbitch. Krey and I bumped into our acquaintance Bobby O’Reilly.
One thing to note: both Bobby O’Reilly and his wife are red-heads.
Taking his new baby for a leisurely walk, Bobby O’Reilly stopped the stroller so that Krey and I could share the splendor of fatherhood. As Krey affectionately grazed the baby’s smooth cheeks with her hand, she started speaking to the baby in Spanish, "Mira la bebe tan bonito. Dios mio que mono eres tu?!"
"Why are you speaking to my baby in Spanish?" Bobby O’Reilly asked.
Krey ignored the question.
I took a closer look, soon realizing this baby was gorgeous, beautiful, and very Latin. Its olive skin and penetrating brown eyes were mesmerizing. Hmmm, I wondered.
"That’s so wonderful that you adopted, bless your heart," Krey said.
"Adopted? What are you talking about?" Bobby O’Reilly uncomfortably asked.
Oh no. Once again, obnoxious Krey Zbitch was driving the wrong way down a very dangerous street, if you know what I mean.
I tried to change the subject, "Come back to yoga Bobby O’Reilly. It’s been a while since you’ve been in class."
"What are you talking about ‘adopted’?!!" he firmly reiterated to Krey, ignoring me entirely.
"It’s just that your baby looks very exotic," Krey answered.
I barely knew this dude Bobby O’Reilly but believe you me, he is very emotional. His face turned bright red and he started cussing under his breath.
Krey, in her own strange way, tried to calm him by saying, "Bobby O’Reilly relax. It’s just that you have red hair, and your wife has red hair, and the baby does not have red hair."
Note: We’ve all had this experience where you see a baby that looks nothing like the parents. You can’t help but wonder if the baby was adoped or if, ah, there was a, ah, third party. ‘Third party’ is not a good thing to wonder.
Bobby O’Reilly lashed out, not at Krey, but at me, "Y’know what David?! You are a stupid yoga teacher! And you can take your yoga and the chocolate and wine you use in those weird ass workshops. And shove it all right up your ass!"
I was flabbergasted and responded under my breath, "But Bobby O’Reilly, I didn’t say anything."
Bobby O’Reilly wheeled the stroller down Montana Avenue screaming at the top of his lungs like a crazy person.
Krey Zbitch did it again. Another day, another offensive insult. Y’know what, it wasn’t just Krey. I was thinking the exact same thing. We had no business thinking that low down, dirty thought. And please, if you are frowning upon us right now, get off your high horse. We all sometimes entertain bad, negative thoughts. That’s something we can prevent.
Gandhi said, "I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet." Like so many in the world right now, I’m shackled by the burdensome radio reports, water cooler anxiety, red-alert emails, and constant newscasts of economic doom. This dark and dusty state of mind caused me to ponder that maybe just maybe Bobby O’Reilly’s wife conceived not with Bobby, but rather with her Latin pilates instructor. Shame on me.
I can and will do better.
In these challenging months, your bank account might dip but your mind need NOT be dragged in tow. Now is the time to clean, tone, and clarify your thoughts. When the economy again begins to ascend, let your mind be waiting from a lofty place of faith, enthusiasm, and positivity. So long as you know how to position a sail, the fiercest winds yield the greatest power.
A wise one said, "Strive to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To be too wise for worry, too tolerant for hate, and too courageous to be fearful. In short, to be happy."
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