Why You Aren’t Who You Think You Are

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Each of us perceives reality through the filter of a personal self, an “I” that is unique in the world, thanks to the unique experiences we’ve had since birth. We rely on “I” to be able to navigate through everyday situations, not realizing how limiting “I” actually is. It’s fair to say that few people realize how unstable and distorted their sense of self is. To begin with, each of us filters out an enormous portion of the input we receive at a given moment.

Part of the filtering is unavoidable–human eyesight is limited to the visible wavelengths between ultraviolet and infrared, human hearing between the frequencies of 20 and 20,000 Hz (vibrations per second). In cosmic terms the visible universe, along with the universe detectable with scientific instruments, is a fraction of the total matter and energy in creation–perhaps as little as 1% to 4% depending on how “dark” matter and energy are computed, along with invisible interstellar dust.

On the personal level, the human brain has all kinds of limitations, including its dependence of a macro level of space, time, matter, and energy. At other levels of nature, including the quantum, ordinary clock time, the familiar three dimensions of space, the solidity of physical matter, and so on change entirely and at a certain point disappear. The fact that “something came out of nothing” during the big bang destabilizes common sense reality in radical ways.

Most of our filtering, however, occurs as a result of the experiences we assimilate all our lives. A collection of past wounds, conditioning, and beliefs forces us to go into denial about ourselves and the world around us. The phobic who is deathly afraid of spiders seems extreme, but every strongly held belief shuts out other viewpoints, and in the process the world we don’t want to see becomes invisible. The input we receive as raw information might not be entirely suppressed, but it still gets examined in the process of interpreting what’s happening to us. At a crude level, we interpret every experience as good or bad, hurtful or pleasurable, something we like or dislike, etc.  Depending on how judgmental you are, you fall somewhere between extremely close-minded and extremely open-minded. Depending on how empathetic you are, you fall somewhere between compassionate and cruel.

Once we take into account the ways that “I” gets shaped–through filtering, interpretation, beliefs, memories, and all types of social conditioning–it’s inescapable that “I” is a rickety structure that we ourselves didn’t build of our own free will. With most people, “I” reflects forces outside their control since birth. Still, we all defend “I” and go to great lengths to identify with it. But a closer examination reveals that “I” doesn’t have a secure perch on reality, because instead of a stable structure, the self is constantly bounding around. At a minimum we have three versions of “I”: Continue reading

Intent of the Day: Be Aware of Burnout

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How many times have you taken a day off, called out of work, skipped a fun night out because you weren’t just tired, you were done? Taking time for yourself, you thought “Great! Now I’ll be refreshed and ready to take on the world again!” only to find yourself running on fumes, short tempered and miserable days later? What you may be experiencing is burnout. It is a state defined as “emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress.” This can be stress from any arena- family, work, health, you name it. Going full speed, a tumultuous relationship, starting a business in a rocky financial environment, and and all of it can cause you to not only be exhausted. Rather than being seen as a badge of honor, that perceived exhaustion is actually a much more serious state taking a toll on your mind, body and spirit, not to mention your friends, family and those you interact with in big and small ways.

Before we burnout, we want to change our patterns.
We do not want to glorify working til we crash.
We intent to be aware of burnout.

You too? Here are 3 things to help you combat burnout: Continue reading

Intent of the Day: Honest the First Time

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Practice makes permanent. Not all of us have spent time developing the muscle of knowing what we think and feel in the moment. We’ve found ourselves agreeing to or missing out on experiences that don’t line up with what we want, but that’s a part of growing and discovering who we are. Strengthening the muscle of knowing ourselves can be bumpy. It can mean having to have a conversation twice. It can mean having to change our minds. Those things might feel like our practice isn’t worth it, but push on!

The hope is that you start to know what you prefer. You start to know what truth and authenticity feels like in your bones. We learn not to shirk away when it feels uncomfortable to tell the truth. It is with practice that we grow and and learn. We intend to be honest the first time.

You too? Here are 3 things to help: Continue reading

Designing A Workout Program That Makes You Thrive

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A lot of people want to workout. Most people don’t know how. Thankfully, psychology can show us the best types of exercise routines for every person. A practical fellow should not always have the same style of workout that the intuitive fellow does. The important thing is that they have a workout to begin with. That is the key. Motivation helps us to improve and become the people that we should be. Continue reading

Intent of the Day: Decide What We Want First

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It was the millionth time in a row of feeling frustrated because plans weren’t settled or what you hoped they would be. It was the millionth time you felt under appreciated and forgotten in the midst of decision making. In the name of team work and collaboration we can find ourselves waiting to know our own feelings or make a decision until everyone else has decided and declared their own. Without realizing, we can find ourselves complicit in the act of not giving ourselves a voice. How does that happen?

Sometimes it feels rude or bossy to know what we want. But who decided that “rude” or “bossy” would be synonymous with know your feelings and intent? How often do we give others the opportunity to decide without judgement? Then why should we not give ourselves the same opportunity? It is far easier to adapt when you know where you stand to begin with, so today our intent is to decide what we want first. Before we’ve heard from the crowd. Before we let someone else decide for us. Before re resent people who have decided.

You ready to do the same? Here are 3 things to consider: Continue reading

The Evolving Cosmos: Is Reality Getting Any Closer?

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Science is the modern authority for telling us what’s real, using verifiable facts to prove its theories. Over the last century many facts have emerged about the nature of the universe, and since we know we live in an evolving universe since the big bang occurred 13.8 billion years ago, naturally scientific knowledge has evolved.  But strangely enough, this hasn’t brought reality any closer. The mysteries of the universe were expected to be solved by looking closer and closer at phenomena “out there” beyond Earth, “at smallest scales” as we probe within the matter, and then reality pulled a number of baffling tricks that brought everything into question.

The pattern that overlays everything has been breakthrough = disruption. The whole field of biology isn’t disrupted by discovering through genetic analysis that pandas don’t simply look like bears but are bears. In physics and cosmology, however, major discoveries have overturned the applecart, beginning in 1915, when Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity made a rupture from anything previously done in physics, by giving a geometrical model of gravity. Space and time were unified, and suddenly the cosmos was a four-dimensional continuum in which two fixed, and earlier separate entities, space and time, were now seamlessly linked, behaving not alone but relative to each other.

Einstein’s theory was massively important for physics, but it altered the relationship between the cosmos and human beings. First, our senses were now rendered either unreliable or pointless in grasping the complete reality, because relativistic effects were abstract and mathematical. In other words, these effects were simply not grasped by our usual sense perceptions. (Einstein used simple examples taken from ordinary life, such as standing in an elevator as it descended or watching a train approach the station, but these analogies only hinted at what General Relativity explained.) Second, relativity was a wedge that opened up the possibility that the human brain, which operates in linear time and three-dimensional space, might be inadequate to grasp alien dimensions and “spooky” behavior outside our experience. Continue reading

Intent of the Day: Things That No Longer Serve

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When was the last time you went through a solid spring cleaning? Not just your bedroom. Not just the places people can see. We’re talking the deep cleaning. The garage. Behind the appliances. The areas you usually avoid. What about the things that don’t even work anymore- figuratively and literally. Taking a quick inventory, we can often find quick fixes, things hanging on by a thread and unnecessary items collecting dust in our home, but also in our mental and emotional lives. You have a bookshelf but it is full of books you never read and basically serves as an item we avoid having to dust. We have a closet full of clothes that used to fit or we hope will one day fit but no real plan for how to do that.

Our physical space is often time a symbol of what is going on internally. Are there things collecting dusts? Are there problems waiting with no plan of action to move you closer to a solution? You need no special mountaintop moment to begin taking inventory of what works and what doesn’t. Some things are still in fine condition, they just no longer serve where you are and where you are going. This means that a person, place or thing doesn’t have to be bad to be ready to transition elsewhere. It simply means keeping your eyes and your grip open for the purpose of growth.

We intend to release the things that no longer serve.

You too? Here are 3 things to help you do the same? Continue reading

Encouraging Insight From The Alzheimer’s Advocacy Forum

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This week 1,300 Alzheimer’s advocates converged on Washington D.C. in a sea of purple to meet with lawmakers and discuss the urgency of the issues surrounding this disease. The atmosphere was one of hopeful determination.

As I reflect on the events of the past few days, I am more determined than ever to turn the tragedy of my personal loss into the triumph of a cure! This is what I have learned. Continue reading

Improve Your Breathing, Improve your Health

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Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to breathing. Your breathing habits have a direct effect on your health and wellbeing, on your athletic and creative abilities, your performance at work, and in everyday life. What you don’t know could be hurting you or holding you back on many levels, both in the short term and in the long run.

“Statistics suggest that many millions of people worldwide suffer with the profound and misunderstood symptoms and deficits of learned dysfunctional breathing habits. Unfortunately, these habits are rarely identified by practitioners, their effects mistakenly attributed to other causes, and their resolutions prescriptive in nature focus is on symptoms rather than causes.” (Dr. Peter Litchfield, President of the Graduate School of Behavioral Health Sciences”

Dysfunctional breathing habits not only compromise physical wellbeing, but they can have direct, immediate, and profound effects on your emotional and psychological health as well.

Here are some things that you can do on your own to improve your breathing and along with it, your health: Continue reading

How to Enhance Fertility: 8 Secrets from Mother Nature’s Perspective

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Making babies from a place of bliss is every woman’s ideal vision. You finally decide the time is right. You chart your ovulation; you take all the right supplements. But the sobering reality as a fertility coach I see women do all the “right” things and they still go through hell trying to birth their dreams.

I have also seen a common pattern: How these smart women have been approaching their fertility has left them feeling even more drained, disheartened, and empty.

But also look at the world we live in and it is no wonder; stress, toxic relationship patterns, addictions, negative headspace, technology, GMO, plastics, pesticides, oh my.

Could it be that our very environment is making us sick? Could there be a connection as to why our most fundamental abilities being threatened?

What if how we embrace our fertility has the power to change it?

Women everywhere are awakening to a higher perspective on fertility. One Mother Nature herself might teach if she had a book, Facebook page or an online course. I consult with her wisdom often because she has taught me that fertility is really about life – and what wants to be born cannot thrive unless we are. Here are the 8 most common teachings Mother Nature has whispered to me over the years: Continue reading

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