Patience is not even my secondary or tertiary virtue. I, like so many of us, want what I want when I want it. To be exact, I want my computer up and restored to what it was before the meltdown, and I want to spend not so much as a nanosecond of time or energy doing it. Unfortunately, blessed one, or perhaps fortunately, that’s not how recalibration works—with computers or in life.

When I was a kid, my mama used to say, “Patience is a virtue, second to none ….” It was always a reminder to be patient, and she always trailed off vocally in such a way that it reminded me that I clearly was not being patient. Drat!

My computer is still not “right.” It’s not wrong, either, but it’s still not right according to my specifications, and I’m letting it make me crazy except for when I’m not. Ah me. It’s a good learning.

One of the things we heard often in seminary was: don’t pray for patience—you’ll be given opportunities to practice it! I did it once so I can assure you that my professors were right.

So what is patience? Why is it a virtue? How do we cultivate it? What do we do when we’re lacking it?

According to the OED, the Latin roots of patience mean suffering. I’ll cop to it. When I’m impatient, I am suffering for sure. The first definition of the word reads:

1. a. Bearing or enduring (pain, affliction, trouble, or evil of any kind) with composure, without discontent or complaint;
   

Bearing … standing

The lovely message of Solomon’s ring applies here: This Too Shall Pass. If you can remember that whatever is requiring your patience won’t last, it will help you stay patient. Ask yourself: will this be important in 10 years? Go backward through the times? Years? Months? Weeks? Etc. You’ll be surprised at how unimportant our impatience can become.

With … composure

When I’ve been known to get impatient in the past, I am so far from composed, it’s embarrassing. I have totally lost my composure and am usually mad, mad, mad. That’s not good for me or for the relationships in my life. If you’ve lost your composure, excuse yourself from the situation, and go somewhere privately where you can self-talk yourself off the impatience ledge where you are currently residing.

The other option is to become exceedingly conscious of your breath and only your breath. Let the world outside your breathing recede and allow yourself to focus within. The only place where any of us has any control is within our own selves. Take that control back.

Without … discontent or complaint

Oooh, here’s the rub. When I’m impatient, not only am I discontent (I don’t like the CONtent in my life at that moment!) but I’m also likely to be complaining—internally certainly, but more often externally and to whomever I can get to listen!

Stop. Stop complaining right now. It’s your mind thinking your thoughts causing your mouth to engage your vocal chords making those sounds that come out as complaints. Stop, right now. Breathe out. Do it again. The exhale causes the inhale.

Many years ago, I heard a sermon called “Impatient.” The clergy divided the word up into two and added punctuation.

I’m patient.

Believe it or not, it helps. As I’ve been writing this post, I’ve written a list of things my IT wizard will come fix before the end of this week. I have returned to composure and complaint-free living.

For more spiritual nourishment, visit Dr. Susan Corso’s blog