Progress Not Perfection: Striving for Success with Healthy Expectations

I remember the first day I walked into the gym after years of being a bonafide couch potato.  After 5 minutes on the treadmill I was gasping for breath.  I watched as people around blithely ran for an hour, barely breaking a sweat.  It was daunting and not a little intimidating.  But then I remember something I had learned along my journy in life…

I’ve learned through the years to look backward instead of forward and ask myself, "Am I better?"  Am I better than I was a week ago?  A month ago?  A year ago?  In addition to looking at where I want to go, I look at where I have come from.  From a life of couch surfing to standing in a gym was a major improvement.  This put things in proper perspective. 

As for the people running effortlessly around me, I can not know what shape they were in when they started at the gym, nor how long it took them to reach this level of fitness.  They may have always been athletes and achieved if effortlessly.  They may have been couch potatoes like myself and fought for a year to get to that place.  Either way, we are all on a different path and it is not fair to compare myself with others.  They have not walked my path.  The only fair comparison is to myself.  Therefore the only fair question is not, "Am as good as someone else?"  The only fair question is, "Am I better than I was?" 

Many of my clients struggle with this same issue.  I have a saying that give to them, "Progress not Perfection".  I have worked with clients who have stopped abusing crack, alcohol, sexual acting out and smoking, but are beating themselves up for eating a poor diet and not exercising.  I have to stop and remind them where they came from.  They are not in the crack house or passed out somewhere.  They didn’t wake up in someone’s bed and not know how they got there or what transpired the night before.  They’re worrying about nutrition and exercise.  Gee, I think "you’ve come a long way baby".  Remember where you started and how hard you fought to be in a place where all you have to worry about it improving your diet and getting a little exercise. 

By the way, I became one of those people running for an hour on the treadmill.  It’s in there.  You just have to give it time.

So take it easy out there and walk your own path. 

Find more articles on mental health at my blog:  www.kellevision.com.